


[Ajin AU] We'll Be Waiting For the Night

by goodwineandcheese



Series: Monster/Ajin Crossover AU [3]
Category: Monster, 亜人 - 三浦追儺 & 桜井画門 | Ajin - Miura Tsuina & Sakurai Gamon
Genre: Ajin characters are mentioned but don't actually appear, Angry Tenma, Dehumanisation, Discrimination, Earn Your Happy Ending, Emotional and Physical Trauma, Espionage, Everything Turns Out Okay In The End, Fingernail Torture, Gen, Grimmer Suffers, Healing, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Torture, Politics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Restraints, Suspense, Tenderness, Tenma Suffers, The Government is Bad, Unethical medical procedures, Unwilling Witness to Torture, minor ties to canon points of both series, rescue romance, semi-graphic torture, technically takes place in the Ajin universe, well...mostly, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-06-29 05:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15723018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodwineandcheese/pseuds/goodwineandcheese
Summary: Tenma and Grimmer set out on their attempt to rescue the other Ajins, all while Ajin terrorism in Japan rocks the stage worldwide, making things even harder for their efforts. Secrets are uncovered, plans unfold, and the pair only have one chance to succeed or run the risk of losing everything.Tenma/Grimmer-centric.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't sure what to call this one so I named it after that one sad song in Monster. You know the one.
> 
> Anyway, I sat down and rewatched Ajin and got bit by the Ajin AU bug again...and rather than write a whole new setup I figured I'd just work with what I already had here.
> 
> This fic is more or less the "in between" of the other two I wrote. Naturally it's best if you've read the first fic in this series! This one also ties the story a little more directly to Ajin itself. There’s mentions of some characters/events from Ajin - but things get tweaked here and there for the purposes of the story or just to make it easier on the reader. Being familiar with Ajin as a whole isn't required, but it'll give context to some of the stuff I reference.
> 
> This story is also _much much more violent_ and dark. Mind the warnings! I'll mention when something is gonna happen in a chapter; for the most part you _can_ read the fic and skip the torture scenes, you just might lose a bit of context later.
> 
> As a last forenote some parts are probably gonna be a bit clunky. I’m absolutely ass at writing transitional/dynamic action scenes in a realistic manner but I wanted to _try_ to write something better than “and then they were here, somehow”. SO there might be plot holes in places but I did my best to iron them out and make the scenes as seamless as possible!

Freedom was such an odd thing for Grimmer....pleasantly so, but certainly unusual. He was not _alone_ in this freedom, of course; he was accompanied by the very man who liberated him, much to everyone's surprise. Even though he was in near constant company of doctor Tenma, it never felt stifling; in fact the doctor relied more on _him_ in this situation, still adjusting to this new way of living. In a bizarre sense it was _Tenma_ , now, who was trapped. All he had done was acted on impulse....acted on very human and very kind emotions....and did what he believed was right. Yet, all the merit of his character earned him was a bold headline and a demand for his capture. He had little choice but to join Grimmer now. Of course, the doctor could strike out on his own if he so chose....but with negligible experience in staying under the radar, Grimmer had his doubts that the good doctor would manage for very long.

That, of course, was hardly an issue; Tenma had made it quite clear that...he _wanted_ to stay. That he would assist Grimmer...that he would help to free the remaining Ajins in that twisted place. Despite the state of his nerves, despite how clearly unmatched they were....Tenma's resolve seemed unshakeable. Grimmer certainly had to admit that he was both astounded by and in awe of Tenma's immense ability to empathize.

It was strange sometimes, to think that the actions of one person could have such a drastic effect on others. To Grimmer, Tenma was such an individual. Grimmer had never entirely... _abandoned_ the notion of human empathy; he was well enough aware that, where he was, he would only ever see the cold and apathetic side to men. But enough time spent in such an unpleasant place had begun to wear on him. The good that humanity was capable of grew muddy, overshadowed..he began to lose sight of those things. It had been Doctor Tenma, a single individual, that had managed to inspire such a belief in Grimmer again. He had inspired hope.

The second such individual was one that Grimmer had never met, not personally, nor did he imagine he ever would. Japan was quite far, after all. This individual....was an Ajin, like himself. One who spoke out openly against the treatment of their kind. But his methods....at best, the ajin named Satou could be labelled a terrorist. It was certainly how the world at large viewed his actions. The nation of Japan had been placed in the middle of global interest, with the Ajin terrorist taking center stage. That man, one single individual, had become the face of Ajin kind to the human race - he was all the validation that many countries needed to justify the subjugation of their own home-grown Ajins. If such a human existed that could rekindle hope in Ajins, then it only stood to reason that such an Ajin would exist to turn the whole of humanity against their kind. 

The execution of Doctor Tenma’s rescue had, it turned out, been rather timely. Tensions were already rising across Europe as more and more news of the Ajin terrorist spread - not dissimilarly to propaganda - throughout the West. Most recently, he had released an upsetting video - the execution of a doctor, one he claimed responsible for the abuse of Ajins. Of course, to Grimmer, taking that sort of action seemed foolish; if the man was dead, there was no penance, no resolution - only short-lived satisfaction on the part of the ajins. Killing served no purpose to solve the problem, and in fact only worsened the conditions in the longer run.

The boldness and cruelty of those actions had stirred even greater upset, calling for the closure of Ajin protection programs across the few countries that still maintained them. That was a bit farcical, of course; while it was true that an Ajin who handed himself in willingly was awarded the incentive of relative safety and conditions that far surpassed those of Ajins captured and detained against their will, the suffering endured was only marginally less significant. Public outcry demanding closure only meant that the Government would no longer need to lie through its teeth about the superior quality of life of native Ajins, and would allow their treatment to degrade even further without repercussion. The Chancellor would bemoan the actions of Ajins when perfectly civil opportunities were awarded to them by open-armed and forward-thinking humans. The world would agree, praising Germany's best efforts to maintain positive relations with its Ajins, and damning those very Ajins for the actions of one man.

It wasn’t a very good feeling, to be used as a political tool.

As of yet the Chancellor had made no response to the demands, but only a naive and very hopeful sort of person would hold any belief that those organizations had any chance of surviving the next several months. Most likely, the Association was already preparing to transfer the Ajins to full government custody.

Grimmer was lucky….incredibly lucky to be on the outside now, though remaining hidden was tough. Rewards for their capture were rumoured to be quite high. It certainly made their attempt at any rescue of the remaining Ajins in captivity a bit troublesome...not only was it difficult to move against the Association with only a two-man force, the number of individuals that would love to turn a profit from their capture was unfortunately rather significant. The only conceivable allies they might have were unknown Ajins; but even they could be the enemy. Not all Ajins were so sympathetic as to band together with a known Ajin; those who sought self preservation would avoid them - or perhaps take the reward for themselves.

It was nearing a week now, since the unexpected betrayal of doctor Tenma; Grimmer had kept their travelling to rural villages for the most part - where their faces were less recognized, and the townsfolk were far more occupied tending to crops or waiting for their husbands to return with a plentiful catch. The two took precautions, of course; to most, they were known as Chang and Neumeyer. Even if their names and faces weren’t widely known, it was simply safer to use an alias.

They had found a place to settle for now, in an especially quiet fishing village largely occupied by the elderly. Posing as tourists was easy enough for two travelling fellows. They needed to be careful with what money they had available - neither working at the moment posed a bit of a problem - so, to save additional costs, they took a single room. It was spacious enough, with a charming little desk and coffee table in the main room, and a small - but serviceable - kitchenette. The arrangement wasn’t terrible, but, Grimmer imagined he might be a bit disruptive to the doctor’s rest, on fitful nights. Dreams were rarely kind, when he _did_ manage to sleep. 

There was, of course, that part of Grimmer that remained uncertain; the doctor had expressed no unsavoury motives as of yet, but years at the hands of “doctors” like him made trust difficult to win. The faint whisper of a paranoid fear came to poison his thoughts, more often at rest than during the day.

_But Tenma is not like them._

He told himself that very often, and the voice slowly began to recede, but it would take time. At least logically, he knew he could trust the doctor; so many days now had awarded the doctor plenty of opportunity - if Tenma truly had any ill intent, he would have long since acted on it. 

He woke slowly in the morning, calm but not entirely well-rested. Tenma had roused already, by the very quiet sound of movement on his other side - most likely he hadn't wanted to wake Grimmer by getting up. Slowly, the Ajin sat up and stretched, allowing himself to ease into the morning with a yawn he made little effort to conceal. Though calm, the atmosphere was just slightly tense. News from the day prior had hinted that the Ajin terrorists would make another move. Tenma had family in Japan; it was understandable that he felt greater concern for the state of the country. For Grimmer it was a bit simpler; whatever happened in Japan now had an effect on the policies and regulations regarding Ajin rights on a global scale.

Grimmer prepared a coffee for each of them, bringing the drinks to the small corner table. They stayed in their room for now, watching the TV from the relative privacy of their quiet space. Waiting for the news to follow up on the Ajin story was a bit agonizing, a bit suspenseful, but finally -

_**-CEO of a major pharmaceutical firm rumoured to have engaged in Ajin experimentation marks the fourth murder in recent days carried out by the Ajin terrorists. There appears to be no response to their demands. Here at home, pressure on the Chancellor to tighten security and detain all known Ajins has increas-** _

Grimmer let out a soft sigh. At this rate, they would be lucky if they had even a month - time to process new legislation and prepare for higher-security handling of Ajins upon their transfer to a suitably equipped facility. Any attempts at a rescue then would be much more difficult. Their window of opportunity was shrinking.

The taller man spared a glance toward his pensive companion, his neutral serenity gone for the moment - lips drawn downward slightly, brows creased with exhaustion. This grim atmosphere, the news...it was taxing, tiring for both of them.

"How are you feeling?"

The question was posed in a general sense, there was plenty for the doctor to be stressed about, but more specifically with the news...the events in Japan...he imagined that was hardest on him. Tenma spared a brief glance and shrugged, smiling a thin, tired smile.

"I can't say that it doesn't worry me. My family is fine...they're far enough away that none of these attacks would directly impact them. But I would imagine that they're worried...there's no telling how far this terrorism will go. I worry about them, but..." He shrugged, closing his eyes. "That doesn't really help anything."

“This really isn’t good for us, I think.”

Tenma looked up from his untouched coffee, rubbing his temples. “The way things are going now, Germany’s policies are probably going to mirror the United States.” He leaned back, an apologetic - and exhausted - look in his weary eyes. Rest had not come to either of them, it seemed. “I’m sorry. This can’t be easy for you, either.”

Grimmer’s lips quirked upward then, vaguely amused, and he gave a small shrug. “Truthfully...it’s not so surprising. And it doesn’t change much for Ajins. A lot of the praise surrounding Ajin rights in Germany is…” He thought for a moment, considering how best to approach the topic. “It’s all made out to be more than it is. They’re quite deceptive.”

The Japanese man acknowledged with a flick of his eyes and a nod, but not much else. His eyes had questions in them, though, open and readable as always. Grimmer let out a slow sigh as he continued; it was only fair to elaborate for the doctor as much as he could. It wasn’t his fault that he remained oblivious to so much of what was wrong.

“Ajins that surrender themselves are classified as benign and cooperative, and are awarded certain perks that aren’t available to Ajins otherwise. You’re familiar with most of them, I’m sure; the allowance of Ajins to venture freely in public while escorted, the Ajin residence that guards us from external threats like human trafficking, and a period of rest where the Ajin won't be used in any tests. I suppose you could call it a day off.”

Tenma gave a short nod. “Boyer familiarized me with everything.” There was a cloudy look on his face then, one that Grimmer associated with deep thought and...perhaps unhappy things. The doctor looked like that when he reflected on regretful actions, or troubling memories. He didn’t bring attention to it, sometimes it was better to let the man work through those thoughts himself. Instead, he simply took a sip of his drink and continued.

“Germany is painted as merciful and forward-thinking for allowing any Ajins even basic kindnesses. It’s the only country to successfully implement a cooperative program between humans and Ajins that didn’t fall apart within the first two years. And even then, the association isn’t what it’s made out to be, I don’t think.” His expression grew more serious as he regarded the doctor. "Are you willing to relinquish your ignorance? You may not like to hear it, what else I have to say."

There it was again, that questioning look, accentuated with a cautious nod. Grimmer’s gaze went back to the TV, to the images of the two Ajins responsible for the terrorist acts. His expression became distant, his mind taken somewhere far away. He hadn’t dared to share this with Tenma while he remained a doctor at that place...he recognized the younger man's compassion early on; to further sully Tenma’s image of what he saw as a pleasant and cooperative organization wouldn’t have served any purpose, not then. But now...and with Tenma's acceptance...he had no qualms in speaking freely.

“There are definitely holes in my memory...missing pieces I can’t really explain. The same is true of the other Ajins. I can clearly remember every time they had me on the operating table...could tell you what the doctors were discussing...who was performing the operation, who was supervising, who was observing...the number of times I was reset-”

Ah….that visible tension in Tenma...he really didn’t like it, when Grimmer used that word.

“-but those empty places in my mind….it seems a bit strange, doesn’t it? That they see no reason to erase their experiments from my memory...but entire days appear to be missing.”

A glance back toward Tenma told him that the doctor had, most likely, gathered the implications of what he’d said. But, that sorrowful gaze...Tenma’s eyes were emotive, displayed the contents of his heart all too freely. Seeing that guilt and sadness was always the worst. Tenma had taken no part in any untoward behaviour. He had no _reason_ to feel guilty. Grimmer took another sip of his coffee.

“In the end, the association mostly benefits the political games between governments. We’re used as a tool to raise Germany’s reputation within the developed world...and that’s really all. It was still better than the prospect of outside dangers...I’m not so fond of imagining being sold in pieces on the black market, or anything else as horrible...so I took the one opportunity available to an Ajin in this country.” He gave a short chuckle then, a sound that came across as hollow and humourless.

"But that isn't..."

Tenma's voice came softly, hesitant. He didn't look up at all. Grimmer didn't look his way, only listened.

"They didn't treat you like you were a person. Doctor Boyer...the supervisors, Zeman..."

Grimmer hummed, a lighter, airy sound. “Yes, that's correct. Even within the association, it wasn't what I had anticipated....and, those incentives we were granted weren’t quite so rewarding in practice..like the freedom of leaving the facility. It sounds nice, doesn't it? ...But, outside of the facility nothing is monitored...so, it wasn’t uncommon that Ajins experienced even greater abuse. The association provided certain standards to the treatment of an Ajin on the inside, but on the outside...it's another story.”

Tenma was staring at a spot on the table, abruptly very tense. He still hadn’t touched his coffee, it had probably gone cold by now. And that look...he’d gone rather pale. This was probably a lot at once, for someone so soft-hearted...

Tenma had a harder time stomaching it all, Grimmer had noticed; he wasn't _used_ to such terribly brutal conditions. Grimmer could casually and openly speak about what probably must sound unpleasant to most. But Tenma...his world had been much kinder until recently, a world that didn’t involve the unlawful experimentation and torture of sentient beings in ways that was frowned upon and even prohibited for animals, considerably lesser life forms than Ajins. Such open and casual dialogue was probably unnerving to him. 

“If you knew they would just..how they would treat you...” Tenma swallowed thickly, glancing up finally. “Was it worth it?”

That time, the silence came from Grimmer. Indeed….why would he willingly subject himself to even more abuse, knowing that if he exercised his meagre rights he would only experience more unpleasantness...the answer was there in his heart, an aching thing that never dulled no matter how much time had passed. He felt his expression loosen, his face relax to something that was probably more neutral, even somber.

“Anything would be worth it, to visit them.”

His answer was vague, but it served. Tenma knew the story, or at least part of it. How it was he’d learned he was an Ajin; the three that were killed in that terrible accident and the one that returned to life. He didn’t need to turn, to look at Tenma to feel the waves of empathy that rolled off the man, more a physical presence than an emotional response. He was grateful for it, to feel sympathy. Grimmer clasped his hands in front of him, staring at the lines that creased his skin.

“I was told once, by one of the more unpleasant operators...that my son was created by a monster...that it was better for him to die than to have survived as a monster himself.” His voice was spoken more softly, to keep somber emotion from seeping into his tone. “I think...of all the things ever done to me, praising the death of my child right to my face was probably the worst. But if he _had_ been an Ajin...I don't think I would know what to do.”

It was probably unfair of him, saying all these things to Tenma now, heavy and uncomfortable stories that surely - that _palpably_ \- upset the younger man. But these were sorrows that were left unspoken, even among the other Ajins. He was one of the oldest, the most stable of them, and they had relied on him as their support. It would have felt wrong, to then open his own wounds to them. He’d never been able to share, not really, and now to be free to do so... 

But Tenma didn’t deserve to be subjected to such sad things, either. Grimmer closed his eyes, his lips pulling at a thin sort of smile as he tried to match his gaze. “I apologise. That was probably too much all at once. I believe I’ve soured the atmosphere completely…”

“No. That’s….”

Tenma’s response was a swift interjection, his face pained but also drawn with something more concerned and even determined as he matched Grimmer’s gaze.

“You...I don’t mind. Hearing, I mean. I just never knew the extent of how you...how _all_ Ajins...were being treated. The more I know, the better. Even if it's hard for me...I want to know. I don’t want to be ignorant, or complacent in what was done to you.”

The smile that Grimmer gave then felt warm in his heart, a more genuine expression than the tired facades from before. “It’s good for you to be so open to learn, even when what I have to say is so upsetting. But...given time, that won’t be a problem any more...not when we’ve rescued the others. Isn’t that right?”

Tenma’s eyes flicked up, the concerned sadness in his eyes shifting to a fiercer emotion, brows knitting with determination there instead. His response wasn’t verbal, at first, only a nod - an abrupt, confident gesture. “Before the government has a chance to shut down the association.”

“Actually about that….”

Grimmer scratched idly behind his ear, an almost sheepish expression on his face now. The more he thought about it….a shutdown and transfer of the Ajins seemed like something they could use to their advantage.

“That might be an ideal opportunity for us. During the transfer to a standard holding facility...they’ll have to move the Ajins, probably by truck. They’ll be the most vulnerable then.” He leaned forward, his expression falling once more to neutrality, a bit more serious. “That gives us plenty of time to plan….both the rescue and the aftermath. After all, the two of us alone...we’ve been able to keep hidden, but with more...we need a way to escape, a place to go, before we carry this out. And, we need to know how we plan to rescue them. Because...I don’t imagine that you would like to kill anyone, would that be correct?”

The Japanese man visibly paled, giving a slow nod as his response. As a doctor - a true doctor, who genuinely wished well of others - he surely could never willingly take a life. He had said as much, that even an Ajin...even knowing they would return, murder was murder. It was a refreshing view to hear from a human.

“Then, we need to think very creatively. There are only two of us. They _will_ be vulnerable during transport, and the Ajins will probably help us, given the opportunity. But if we don’t want any casualties, we need a plan. We’ll need to assess our resources, and determine when the association is planning the move. I have a few suspicions...that even though no official shutdown has been made, there may already be talks planned. Ideally what we need is inside information.”

There was a look from Tenma then, at first concerned and then...tired, or resigned. His eyes focused on his hands, troubled and uncertain. “They’ve revoked my access by now. I don’t have any way to get inside.”

Ah, yes...that would be the logical conclusion, wouldn’t it? But, Grimmer had a somewhat different plan. He supposed that...as a human, Tenma wouldn’t have thought of anything like this, so he could hardly blame his thought process.

“Normally, you would be our way in, that’s correct. But, there are certain advantages to having an invisible weapon...a projected being that can move of its own accord...as long as I know what I’m looking for, I believe I should be able to retrieve the information myself…!”

The look of surprise from the doctor was expected, but, he couldn’t help his amusement all the same, even at the doctor’s expense.

“What sort of range do you have with your Ghost? How far away can you be, before you lose….” Tenma paused, eyes narrowing, then looked back to Grimmer. _”Is_ there a range? And won’t they notice if anything is moving that shouldn’t be?”

Grimmer stood, taking his now emptied drink and reaching toward Tenma’s, catching his gaze with a flick of his eyes toward the microwave. Tenma responded with a shake of his head, and Grimmer took the cup to empty - an easy communication beneath their much more complex conversation. 

“To be truthful, I’m not sure...I relied on my Ghost a lot, to survive, before I found that place. Range never came up as an issue, but the connection can be tricky sometimes...as long as I’m left undisturbed, it shouldn’t be a problem. Although…” He turned back to Tenma then, coming back to sit down, a more determined look on his face now, his eyes slightly narrowed. “I could definitely use your help...any details of where I might find our information. The director’s office, I would guess….but as you might imagine, I’ve never seen any part of the facility beyond the Ajin compound and that table. In order for this to work...I will definitely need your help, doctor Tenma.”

....Well, he supposed there probably was a better way to go about this, than how suddenly he dropped such a hefty request...Grimmer wasn't particularly accustomed to cooperating, to working with another person like this. But, the doctor took it in stride, giving a slow nod, the anxious look about him still present, but peppered with something more determined once again.

"I'll tell you everything I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something is rotten in the state of....Germany
> 
> EXPOSITION DUMP CHAPTER....eek. Future chapters should move a little more than this one, I just needed to set everything up and also introduce the Ajins-in-Japan stuff going on. I _really_ hope that it makes sense.
> 
> For anyone reading this fic who _haven't_ read the first part in the series: basically Germany has this program in place where Ajins who volunteer themselves for medical research/experimentation are "protected" from outside dangers....which is already kinda skeevy sounding, but as you can see from this chapter it's even worse.....


	2. Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenma and Grimmer take their first steps into rescuing the other Ajins from the facility by undertaking an espionage operation to steal information that will (hopefully) help them in their efforts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to Tenma's POV for this one. This is like....the closest thing to spy thriller we're gonna get lmao
> 
> I'll be honest it's probably the weakest part LOL...if I think of something better I'll edit this chapter to make it run a little smoother.

Tenma had said that he would help Grimmer rescue the other Ajins. That hadn’t changed. Even though there were only two of them...even looking at their minimal chances of success...Tenma wouldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t _try._ He had only worked in that place a short while...not even a month, but in that time...it was unsettling, how many times he watched Grimmer die. 

The number of _humans_ that would have been killed in the same scenario was horrific. As far as Tenma was concerned, there was no difference; one Ajin, over and over, or countless humans. He had never been the one to do it, to hurt Grimmer, but all the same, those deaths were on his conscience. He had _watched,_ and hadn't spoken out against it. That was enough.

He _owed_ Grimmer. He owed him for each and every time he was killed.

Tenma understood why they couldn't make a direct move against the association; the Ajin compound was heavily guarded - not something that a human and an Ajin could enter easily, even with a black ghost. The risk to _Grimmer_ wasn't the problem, rather it was Tenma's own mortality. Grimmer didn't seem particularly willing to put him at risk. Instead this was more of a fact-finding operation - to learn what the plans were for the Ajins once the Chancellor cut the program.

Their infiltration plan was fairly simple...or at least, when Grimmer explained it, it sounded that way. Tenma knew the facility interior well enough; he would be Grimmer’s guide as he controlled his Ghost. Just to be safe, they kept close to the facility - at a small cafe down the street. They kept toward the back, though left a few tables around them so as not to seem _too_ suspicious. Tenma was wearing the same dark sweater and jeans, and Grimmer had upped his disguise just a little with a cap to hide his face. Tenma had it a little easier; less care to his hair easily turned him into what looked like a bedraggled traveller or even a bum as opposed to a clean-cut doctor.

They also needed equipment - a laptop computer with a fast file transfer. Tenma had one - at his flat, a place he hadn't been back to for obvious reasons. But with a week gone by...the police had probably moved on. Still, they used Grimmer's Ghost as a sort of scout - it wouldn't be seen, and he was able to confirm it would be safe to enter. They didn't waste a lot of time - Tenma took what he needed, and a few extra provisions, before leaving again.

Ultimately their "plan" boiled down to getting Grimmer's ghost inside the facility to copy data across a secure network and then leave without making a fuss. Exactly what Grimmer hoped to find was unclear; he seemed absolutely convinced that there were already talks about the closure of the program, even though the Chancellor still hadn't made any comment on it since the issue was first pushed. But, if that _was_ the case...then getting confirmation wouldn't hurt. 

Sneaking into the director’s office to _locate_ the supposed information was going to require a distraction, though. That wasn’t hard; without any reason to suspect foul play, something as simple as tripping the fire alarm would serve. All personnel were required to evacuate regardless of whether there was a fire or not; it’d leave the interior open. After that, though...then it became complicated.

If they were _lucky,_ the director would leave his station without locking his computer. It wasn't uncommon - the assumption was that work would return to normal once the fire crew confirmed nothing was wrong. But if he did...remotely hacking into his computer wasn’t something they were particularly prepared for. Grimmer seemed to have a decent understanding of how computers worked, both in their hardware and software; Tenma...Tenma _did not,_ to put it in the simplest terms. If the director had the foresight to lock his station, then they’d need to locate the physical copies instead. That was riskier; if they took physical documents, the association would know something was wrong, and could advance their plans, whatever they were.

Tenma just had to hope.

They waited until the cafe got a little busier, the laptop sat between them on the table. Grimmer had suggested they act “naturally” - which, apparently, meant smiling and occasionally muttering and chuckling as if they were having a normal conversation. Tenma even had another document open - one he occasionally typed into, to give the impression he was working on something. They were just waiting, now. Grimmer leaned back, crossing his arms behind his head, keeping his cap low over his eyes. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking, and with no way to perceive what was going on in the facility, the doctor was left on edge, even now.

“They’re evacuating. I’m not familiar with how these systems work, doctor….is there an automatic alert to the fire department or security?”

“That’s right. Response time varies...not long, but we’ll have a buffer of a few minutes including the time taken for a floor by floor sweep. Can you tell me where you ar...your ghost is?”

It was strange, to have Grimmer next to him while he was visually projecting through his ghost. Or...however that worked, Tenma really didn’t know enough.

“First floor. Back toward the lobby.”

“Take the stairs around the corner to the left. The director's on the third floor, office 302.”

Tenma wasn’t looking at the other man, instead fixated on the passing minutes on the bottom right corner of the computer. His chest felt tight even though they were safe where they were; this operation was careful and covert, as long as they kept to the plan everything would be fine. Grimmer gave a soft hum, clapping Tenma’s shoulder. Tenma very nearly startled. He gave the ajin a look, then managed a hopefully believable smile. They had to seem relaxed, or he’d look suspicious. He leaned in toward Grimmer a little - something that would make him seem at ease, and hopefully deter any potentially prying eyes from whatever conversation they were having, not that anyone seemed to pay them any mind.

“Ah, wonderful! Unlocked and open...it looks like luck is with us….give me a moment to locate the files. Can you tell me how long it’s been now…?”

“Almost three minutes. We don’t have a lot of time…”

It was disconcerting not to see the situation for himself. He had no idea what was happening in there.

“Well, in that case….I suppose I could do it the quick way...but we’ll have a bit more work to do afterward. Let me just see...." There was a pause as Grimmer trailed off. Which meant whatever he was doing....Tenma had no way of knowing. He leaned forward, prompting the other man in a lowered voice.

"What is it...?"

He kept his expression calm, but the silence unnerved him; exactly what Grimmer was doing...he really didn't know. The Ajin sat forward with a hum. "There's a card reader on his desk. Would you know what that is?"

"It's a decryption key. We all have one. The card should be locked in his drawer."

Grimmer shook his head. "We're doubly lucky then...it seems he's left the card in its reader. Undoubtedly he was using it before the evacuation call. I believe I can use this to our advantage...I’m copying email archives from the past month, and all documents modified in the last twenty days marked classified or higher, as well as all files and folders under a directory called ‘Ajin’...”

A lot of what Grimmer was spouting was a little too technical for Tenma right now; with a calmer mind he could probably reason through what it all meant, but with his mind working a mile a minute and split between the operation and trying to seem inconspicuous, he couldn’t take a moment to concentrate on the words. He caught "card" “upload”, “email” and “classified” - that was enough for him to interpret the rest.

“Well...even with the decryption key I could only access the classified level. There's additional security on higher level files. But, I'm sure that will be enough. How much time now, Doctor?”

“Five. We’re cutting it close...”

“Ah, enough time to erase recent file history...presuming the good director isn’t particularly well versed in computer processes, this _should_ cover our tracks. He’ll have no reason to suspect any data was copied at all. Are you seeing the files yet, Tenma…?”

“S...What?”

“Take a deep breath, doctor.”

He did as he was asked. In, out...slowly.

“Now, check the directory path. Refresh the window and tell me if you see anything.”

Refresh. Tenma nodded, watching as the file explorer started populating with files and folders of different sizes, formats, and names. “It’s here. But do you know for sure this is what we want?”

“No, but, it’s the most likely place to start, isn’t it?”

Tenma balked. All this...and they weren’t even sure--

“It would make sense that a shutdown of the program and approval of Ajin transfer would be found in email correspondence with the man spearheading the organization, don’t you think? Though, I’m not sure that’s where we’ll find the files. At the very least, we’ll definitely find relevant information. Clues, I suppose you could say.”

He wasn’t wrong. It _did_ make sense. At minimum they would probably find out if there was talk about any closure behind the scenes; what they found in the file folders would just be additional, possibly helpful, data. Beside him, Grimmer relaxed, leaning forward over the table and sighing a long, slow sigh.

“Well, there….that was a bit exhausting! We should probably get moving now, doctor.”

He didn’t have to say it twice. Closing the lid, Tenma made to stretch - he wasn't quite as good at Grimmer at maintaining any calm facade. He felt a little lightheaded and dizzy, but managed to keep it together as he put the laptop back into its bag. Tenma eased from his seat, Grimmer following suit. “We can take these to be printed, or read them directly at the hotel. Which would be easier…?”

He thought for a moment, considering the resources they had available. The one computer would usually be fine, but they didn’t know how much time they really had to sift through it all. Paper copies meant faster reading, allowing both Tenma and Grimmer to read at once. “If we print the documents...we can cover everything more quickly.”

“Ah, that’s true! Then, the emails at least.” 

Grimmer hefted the laptop bag over his shoulder and smiled, stretching as they left the cafe. “Then, shall we go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL I used some cheap excuses and plot convenience lmaooo but I don't profess to be smart at espionage. I'm the least sneaky person in the world tbh
> 
> I figure Grimmer would be sort of tech savvy in a modernish setting….instead of being a former spy he’s still good at collecting information, just in a different way.
> 
> Anyway this chapter was much shorter! It's probably the only actually "short" chapter though. Up next is Feels.


	3. Deceit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmer and Tenma begin to analyze the data they were able to retrieve from inside the facility. Tenma begins to realize he's only just scratching the surface of the government's mistreatment of ajins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a heavier chapter. Nothing bad really _happens,_ but dehumanisation and human experimentation/abuse/borderline torture are discussed. Also a stupid amount of boring government stuff.

Tenma wasn't sure what he'd expected from their.."heist", if they could call it that, but it had been successful. He felt glad to finally leave the cafe and start moving again; the less time they spent in the heart of the city, anywhere they might be recognized, the better. Grimmer headed back to the hotel first, leaving Tenma to take care of the printing. It was safer that way, less likely for them to draw attention. The library was quietest around this time, giving Tenma at least a small comfort that no one would pay him any mind. Not that anyone would suspect him to be anywhere near civilized society...and in a library, he was more likely to encounter others too engrossed in their books or projects to care. It didn't stop him from feeling entirely on edge until he left, though.

On the way out, he picked up drinks from the adjoining coffee shop - even though they had one only a few hours ago, Grimmer had definitely been exhausted after the heist, and Tenma was...well. He hadn’t even _had_ his coffee, technically. That morning...with everything being discussed, he hadn't had much appetite for anything, and in no way did he need the anxious buzz of caffeine. Now, though, the lack of sleep was starting to take its toll.

Holding it all in hand, the actual volume of printed material wasn’t quite what Tenma thought it would be. There was a _lot_ , sure, but it wasn’t nearly as much as he expected. Then again, they had several emails per page...and there was plenty more information that _hadn't_ been printed - video files and spreadsheets and the like.

All Tenma could say was that for the first time, he was glad for the inattentive way that people tended to carry themselves these days. It was something he usually bemoaned; the way that young people seemed entirely too fixated on their phones or computers, to the point that it caused problems for their physical health. Strain on the neck from constantly looking down, horrible posture...as a doctor it was all frustrating. And, he personally felt that the attachment to the internet and media had made people somewhat apathetic and ignorant; he wasn't immune, of course, he knew that. But it seemed like everyone was constantly distracted, unable to keep focus for long, barely attentive of the world around them, barely aware of its hardships.

Right now that worked to his favour. It was true he barely resembled the talented Doctor Tenma the way he was now, but the inability for anyone around him to focus on a stranger's face with anything more than an apathetic awareness of his presence prevented them from any sort of realization that Kenzo Tenma was among them.

Taking a cab back was no less tense, and Tenma maintained one hand on the tranquilizer gun he'd kept with him - the one that, ironically, had been handed to him when he first took Grimmer away. "In case he tries anything" - that was ironic, since in the end it had been he who acted rashly. He was glad to have it with him, but the cab driver seemed just as unaware as everyone else. She just wanted to get her job done. He stopped at the midway point - best not have anyone know where he was staying, just in case - and walked the rest of the way to the hotel, back to where Grimmer was waiting, greeting the doctor with a wave.

Tenma returned the gesture with a smile instead of a wave - both hands rather occupied - as he stepped in and closed the door behind him with a light kick of his foot. He set the papers down on the little table, handing Grimmer his coffee. The ajin gladly accepted the drink, though there was a look about him, as he followed Tenma with his eyes until the doctor sat down.

“You know, this has all been very helpful...but if you’d like to stop...if you want to go back to perhaps living a normal life...this is a good opportunity. It would be very easy to fabricate a story...to say that I was holding you hostage and you managed to escape, or perhaps I simply ran out of use for you and let you go. You're not used to handling Ajins, so I think it'd be believable.”

Tenma blinked, holding his own coffee suspended between the action of picking it up and actually drinking it, his thoughts momentarily frozen as he eyed the Ajin with a mixture of confusion and concern. Wherever this was going...

“What brought this on?”

The older man gave a slow, leisurely shrug, stirring sugar into his drink. “Moving forward from here, it will be much more dangerous for you. You’re wanted as a possible accomplice at present, but there is a safe exit for you. It's your last chance to leave this behind, if you wanted. After this, it won’t be so easy for you to come out an innocent man. You would be attacking men simply doing their job, stealing government property...and of course, there would be greater risk to your life.” Grimmer’s expression was serious then, blue eyes piercing as he regarded Tenma. “I want to be sure that you really are comfortable with those sorts of consequences. You’ll be sacrificing quite a bit, if you help me any more than you already have.”

Tenma took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. _Government property._ He was talking about the Ajins. Just saying that...the way that Grimmer said it as though it was normal...no, because it _was_ normal...that was exactly why Tenma _couldn’t_ turn back now, _couldn’t_ take that offer. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself, knowing that any life was being devalued. It was _wrong._ To him, that was reason enough. And more than that....it was like Grimmer said; he had a choice.

Ajins didn't. They never had a choice.

Once discovered, their lives were forfeit - either willingly, like Grimmer and the other four, or by force, the way it was in most countries. Tenma had enjoyed such a free life, able to do whatever he wanted, able to _become_ whatever he wanted. If helping the Ajins in this country meant giving that up...then he was willing to make that choice. The choice they never had.

Rather than answer immediately, he picked up the stack of documents, skimming over the pages. That alone would be indication of his answer. After a moment he looked up to meet Grimmer's gaze.

“If I walked away now, I’d be walking away from those four Ajins still in that place, and accepting the treatment of ajins worldwide. It isn’t about what’s safest for me. It never was, or else I wouldn’t have thrown away my career to save you. This is what I want.”

Tenma looked down at his lap then, his face falling, chest clenching around tense emotions. “I let them go on killing you while I was there. I lost count of how many times you died on the table. I owe no less than that many lives back. I absolutely intend to continue with you. I’ve made up my mind.” 

Grimmer took in all he had to say with a pensive expression, but one that also seemed relieved - and, strangely, amused, by the sound of the warm chuckle he gave at the end of what had been a genuine, heartfelt spiel. Tenma made a face; he wasn't _joking_ , this was serious.

“The way that you think is a little bit strange...not very good for self-preservation, I think. But, I’m glad, all the same. Right now, you’re probably the only person I can trust, besides myself. I've told you, of course, but in that place...when I was reset, it was quite comforting to see you there.”

Tenma managed to keep a smile on his face, though again...that word...it felt uncomfortable when it came from Grimmer. But still...he was glad. Glad to have earned that trust, and to be a source of some sort of comfort to the Ajin. He and the other Ajins...they needed it, they needed someone that could give them hope. And if he could be that person...he would be willing to go as far as he had to. Although…

“Grimmer…”

His voice was hesitant as he looked up from another page of email archives, Grimmer tilting his head to acknowledge he’d heard. Tenma sighed, closing his eyes. “Would it be alright…” He paused for a moment, an uncomfortably long silence dragging on. “No...I don’t know...” He shook his head, cleared his mind, started again. 

“It's just...when you say _reset_ , like that..." He trailed off again, but Grimmer seemed to catch on, giving a small knowing nod.

“Ah, that's something I wondered. You always seem to look uneasy, when I say it. Does that word upset you…?" He frowned, cocking a brow. "If this is about any lingering guilt...”

Tenma made a small discontented sound, only barely loud enough to be heard. He lowered his head, looking at his lap. “When the doctors would say it….Boyer...that he was _resetting_ you...it always felt as though that was some justification. It’s never okay to willfully kill someone. But because you come back...it’s different. They invented a word to separate what they were doing from murder. But...killing is killing, regardless. Using a word like that...makes me uneasy.”

He was focusing on the papers in front of him, focusing in order to keep his emotions in check. He didn’t catch the look that Grimmer gave him, a peculiar expression that was a bit surprised, and then understanding, and even warm.

“It’s a term that’s largely been adopted by Ajins, not just by them. But, I understand why that might bother you. I’m not fond of it, in those contexts, either.” He sighed, giving a shrug. “I don’t know if I can do that right away, though; it might take time to unlearn it. But for you, I’ll try.”

Trying was enough. Tenma nodded, turning back to the pile of papers in front of him.

They both were quick to dive into their research together then, now able to pull their focus fully into what they were reading. They separated sections by date - so as not to overlap one another - each looking over records sent within a certain window of time within the period they had extracted from the Director’s archive. There was a sense of urgency in the air and a mild tension between them, but at least this wasn’t an uncomfortable atmosphere. It was conducive to reading faster, to getting things done. There was silence for a while, at least until-

“It appears our Director is in violation of at least a few standard workplace regulations.” The quip came from Grimmer, though Tenma didn’t look up just yet, busy skimming the pages in his hands, looking for particular keywords. Not having a search function on paper documents was a bit inconvenient. 

“Even though the association is a private foundation, it sits under the umbrella of the government's Ajin branch...so it's expected to follow the same rules. And, to my knowledge, there should be restrictions on the sharing of sensitive information to those not in the need to know, isn’t that right…? 

“....Yeah.”

A humoured hum. “There are quite a few here addressed to his wife! Apparently he's quite open to sharing classified information with family members....oh, and they've planned a vacation in Italy in a month. Apparently, 'work stress' has been getting to him. How sad!” 

Tenma huffed in amusement, but kept leafing through pages. He knew that Grimmer was taking this all seriously, he was probably just commenting on the useless content they had acquired to keep one - or both - of them from getting too stressed. He himself had bypassed what he _thought_ was a joking email about ways to circumvent the personal use of the program's government funding to supply the next staff party with beer...but who knew, the director really could just be a corrupt - albeit pragmatic - man.

It got easier as time went on; Tenma was able to sift through emails looking for specific words faster with practice, though he did make sure to look thoroughly - he didn’t want to miss anything, after all. He was well out of coffee now, but the energy rush seemed to still be there, keeping him going for...however long it had been now. An hour or more? Two? Words were starting to swim a little in his vision, but-

He froze when he caught the first few lines of the email he had just picked up;

_Further to the requisition of A03 and A04: due to recent changes we will have to cancel the attached transfer order. Please see-_

This one was dated...early into the month. He wasn't entirely sure what it was - "A03" and "A04" were obviously item codes, but for what, he couldn't say. But the _attached_ request...Tenma looked up, his vision a little hazy from the constant staring at black on white.

“Where did we sort the email attachments? I need to look for something..”

“The folders on the table. I organized them by date, if that helps.”

By date….that made sense. Tenma set his email records down, glancing over at the much smaller pile of flimsy white folders. There were a few that had the same date stamp, so it wouldn’t be hard to sort through what he was looking for. He opened the first document, scanning its contents. A travel request….that sounded promising, but reading further it probably wasn’t what he wanted - it was some sort of high level directorial meeting in the United States. It was still possibly relevant, though, so Tenma set that one aside, turning to the next foldered document. 

This one was larger, heavier; there were something like twelve pages in this one. Scanning the first page, it seemed like he was looking at a product loan agreement between an arms manufacturer and the Ajin branch. It didn't seem like the document he was _looking_ for, but if the Ajin branch was dealing with weapons manufacturers...there were dangerous possibilities as to what that might mean.

He scanned a little further down. There was a table of contents - item details, loan justification, terms and agreements, handling procedures, cost forecasting, and appendices. He flipped to the first page, to the item details--

_**Items on loan: A02 Reinhart, Ad--**_

He stopped, eyes freezing on the wor... _name._ What he was reading was....this was.... 

_**\--olf and A01 Grimmer, Wolfgang. Personal files attached in appendix A.**_

N...o. 

No..... 

_**Request use of A01 and A02 for controlled field testing of modified anti-Ajin weaponry over a 2-day period. Prior loan of A01 demonstrates sufficient familiarity with the handling of Ajins. As a PRI-1 project it is expected that at least one requirement be fill-**_

“Perhaps you should take a break, doctor.”

The voice, though gently spoken, combined with the suddenness of a hand on his shoulder set Tenma’s sparking nerves alight. He flinched almost violently, the paper in his hand crumpled under sudden force. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, more aware of his surroundings; Grimmer was standing beside him, the hand retracting from his shoulder, though his presence was still near. Tenma felt a little guilty, it hadn’t been Grimmer’s fault; he’d just been hyperfocused on the document he was reading and the touch took him by surprise. 

But then...that was probably what he meant in saying Tenma should take a break.

Tired eyes opened and he glanced back toward Grimmer, but the eye contact was only brief before he zoned back in on the now creased and crinkled pages in his hands. His throat felt dry and parched all of a sudden. And looking at Grimmer...after what he read...it was hard just to look him in the eye.

“These are some sort of official procurement documents.” he mumbled, his voice surprisingly steady, but void, almost empty sounding. “A loan agreement. You and one other Ajin...were apparently….”

He trailed off, tightening the clench of his fist, releasing it and clenching again. There was an erratic energy that had settled there, in his hands, giving him a nervous twitch. 

The papers in his hands were eased away, almost without his notice, but the absence of that crinkling sound alerted him. Tenma looked up, making a sound of protest as Grimmer leafed through the pages he’d just been holding. The look on his face was impossible to read - neutral and entirely devoid of feeling, but whether it was to protect his own emotions or to protect Tenma from his notoriously overflowing empathy, he couldn’t say.

“Oh. The language that they’re using...I can see why you were so upset. It does feel a bit unsettling, to be blatantly classified as an ‘item’.”

There was that twitch again. Any sense of calm neutrality in Tenma was absolutely shot, leaving raw emotion to bubble just beneath the surface, barely kept at bay. He felt nauseous, just thinking that....there were people, real humans, writing these papers... _signing_ them. They were giving their approval to blatant disregard of life, to torture.

“Though, this was produced using a standard template; I don’t believe they have an appropriate document for the loaning of sentient property. I don’t think it would read quite so badly if they did.” 

There was a heavy sigh; even without looking, Tenma knew that Grimmer was starting to tire. “...I suppose this answers the question of my absent memories. I had wondered...it's not all that surprising. But it's definitely disheartening.” There was a heavy silence, followed by a little more rustling of paper. "This particular request seems to be for the coming month...I suppose it's necessary to prepare in advance."

Tenma didn't look up, but the faint movement of shadows told him that Grimmer had set the papers down and moved away, presumably to continue reading whatever he’d been looking at before, or just stretch his legs. Tenma, on the other hand, had leaned forward, fists clenched, glaring at a spot on the floor. He wanted to stay calm….he _wanted_ to, but…

“...They don’t have the _right.”_

Grimmer said something in response, but all Tenma picked up on was the tone - quietly complacent, if a little tired. Tenma's head was buzzing, too many emotions swirling for him to hear. There was no stopping it, now.

“There is _nothing_ to justify this. After you were promised protection, they...they still went against it anyway, kept it from you...from everyone. We’re supposed to be _better_ than this, but you’re treated like you’re disposable...they say this facility was made to give Ajins a choice, but there was _never_ a choice, was there? Everyone thinks it's a cooperative venture...but Ajins are being exploited and everyone turns the other cheek because they’re too damn _greedy_ to-”

“Settle down. Please take a deep breath, doctor. Slowly, now.”

There was suddenly the tingle of contact, and Tenma jerked his head up to see that Grimmer had moved, was crouching in front of him now and was touching his arm, a much more serious look on his face this time. Tenma blinked a few times, then did as he was asked, taking a slow, shaky breath and letting it out. The hand resting on his arm squeezed a little.

“Now, relax your hands. You may hurt yourself at this rate.”

Again, he did as he was told, glancing at his open palm with an almost dazed bewilderment. He _hadn’t_ broken skin, but the indent of his nails showed well enough, and there was a slight sting, now that he was paying attention. Grimmer seemed to visibly relax, letting go of his arm and closing his eyes, visibly deflating. He was exhausted...and Tenma wasn’t helping. Grimmer had no business having to worry about him on top of all of this…

“...Sorry about that.” His voice came more calmly now, though he could still feel those deep, angry swells in his chest, reeling and roiling below the surface. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

The tired gaze from Grimmer shifted, looking more directly at the doctor. 

“It can’t be helped, can it? You feel very strongly toward the unfair treatment of Ajins, I think. And, you are someone who feels very deeply regardless. It’s not wrong, or bad, inherently. But you definitely need a better outlet for that stress…”

Tenma leaned forward again, idly rubbing at his palm with the pads of his fingers. The mild pain was already starting to subside. “I don’t know how you manage to be so calm. It makes me feel sick to think about it. What they did to you...what they were doing without telling you…erasing your memory to cover for themselves...the government's just been using the association as a front. What they've really been doing...”

Grimmer shrugged, taking a seat opposite Tenma on the floor, relaxing his legs, elbows resting on his knees. He looked faraway again, as he sometimes did when he thought back.

“I don’t know that I’m calm, exactly. I suppose...it would be more correct to say that I feel numb. This is all new to you, doctor; I had my suspicions about my absent memories, so I suppose it’s not so shocking for me, and I’m already quite used to this sort of behaviour toward Ajins. It’s not a nice feeling, but, I don’t think I can be sad or angry about it, not the same way you are. It’s been so long that I think...I’ve simply grown not to react. I suppose...I’m too _tired_ to be angry.”

To spend so long in a place like that, believing that it was the better alternative to being captured and used...this couldn't be easy for Grimmer. It was like an insult - to place his trust in an association that promised protection only to now...to now find out it was never a safe haven for Ajins. Even beneath the already inhumane way they treated the Ajins the government was using them for its own gain. And being "numb" to it now...it was painful to imagine that someone could be so tired...so exhausted from hardship that he couldn't even let himself feel anger any more. Tenma glanced up as he saw the other man shift, his eyes focusing a little as he regarded the doctor.

“You care so much...and that’s a very warming thing, doctor Tenma. I think, since meeting you, I have definitely felt more hopeful...more alive, than I have in a long time. You make me feel that perhaps I can smile, and mean it.”

It took all of Tenma’s concentration to maintain a straight face. It was heartbreaking, to imagine a world where anyone felt that they _couldn’t_ smile genuinely. That lack of happiness was horrid. But the look in Grimmer’s eyes now was bright - grateful and pleasant and almost painful in its genuine light. Tenma offered a smile in response - small, a bit sad, but warm all the same.

“That’s how it _should_ be. You can be happy whenever you want. That’s what it means to be free. I want you to have that happiness.”

He looked over Grimmer then; the tired eyes, the look of one who got very little sleep. Even now...it was probably hard for him to just...relax and rest. Of the two of them, Grimmer was absolutely sleeping less; Tenma wasn’t always immediately aware of it, but he knew that the ajin was disturbed by dreams. He was really pushing himself like this.

“Why don’t you take a break...maybe try to get some rest. I’ll keep reading for a while more. I know it’s been rough on you, so try to relax while you can.”

Grimmer quirked a brow, assessing the doctor in much the same way. “Have you surpassed the need for sleep yourself, Tenma…?”

He had to chuckle. At least Grimmer was still humoured enough to point out the irony of his suggestion. “No. But I’m restless. The way I am now...I couldn’t sleep if I wanted to.” 

There was a moment of silence, and Grimmer glanced toward the kitchenette. “Well, truthfully, I’m in no better state. But I do think I have a solution...it’s about time we eat, don’t you think?”

Tenma opened his mouth, then closed it again, relenting with a bemused huff. “I think that's a fine idea.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND I'LL CUT IT THERE....nice lunchtime interlude. 
> 
> Well now at least they know why the Ajins are missing memories. Poor Grimmer, but also poor Tenma...that was the last straw I guess.


	4. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmer uncovers something that causes one of his past memories to resurface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Ajin references in this one! Fun stuff. Not fun for the character making a cameo though. 
> 
> In this chapter there’s some described torture (not of our sad dads though) and a PTSD episode.

There was a lot to think about, now.

Grimmer had, of course, considered - in fact, assumed - some sort of unpleasant secrecy had been to blame for his missing memories. Something that the association wanted to cover up. Still, to learn that the government was using the Ajins under the would-be protection of the association for inhumane practices was...very disheartening. He hadn't _wanted_ to be proven right.

It made sense - it was a logical course of action...the number of registered Ajins compared to the full Ajin population - including those yet to be discovered - was theorized to be almost one tenth of the real number. Instituting this sort of organization - one _funded_ and endorsed by the government, but operating independently - that offered Ajins a safe space was an ideal way to draw them out from hiding.

The memory erasure had been explained as a side-effect of the drugs used during procedures - it was slow to fully leave the system, and so short-term memory loss occurred at seemingly bizarre times. It wasn’t an impossible explanation, but…

...Well. After learning what they had...taking a break was definitely a good idea...for him, and also for Tenma.

The doctor’s outburst wasn’t entirely surprising. Truthfully Grimmer had been shocked that the man had managed to keep his wits together for as long as he did. The whole of that morning had been spent breaking down what the doctor knew - and, though certainly disturbed, he had taken it with grace. But...reading about living beings classified as something less than human was what had pushed him over the edge. He was a very emotional person, and while that was a quality that Grimmer could appreciate, he did worry a little...he definitely didn’t want to wound such a gentle heart. 

Tenma, though, showed a surprising amount of resolve. Those emotions didn’t weaken him, they were the fuel that drove him, the backbone that allowed him to stand up for his beliefs. It was something that Grimmer could respect.

The buzz in their entirely too small kitchenette was a welcome change. It was cathartic to take a moment just for themselves and place their energy on something that wasn’t quite so tiring. Grimmer took to cutting tomato slices and cheese - a quick, repetitive task that was relaxed and even a little calming. Tenma beside him was washing and separating the lettuce; there was just enough room in the little kitchen space for the two of them...but, typically a hotel room like this was only sparingly used for cooking. Some rooms didn’t even have that - but, as the only guests staying at the moment, they had been offered the best! 

“It feels nice, to have such a simple moment to ourselves…”

Grimmer’s voice was light and pleasant, as calm as he felt. Tenma gave him a sidelong glance and a smile as he loaded his sandwich with ham, lettuce, cheese, and a few tomato slices. “It’s not something I’d expect to be doing when we have so much ahead of us…” He gave a soft chuckle, going to the cupboard to grab a couple plates. “But it helps to take a bit of time to relax. Better for your health.”

Grimmer nodded in response, taking the second plate. He left the knife and cutting board out for now - in case they felt the need for another sandwich. “That’s very true! It’s actually better, I think, to take a few short breaks from a repetitive task like this, to give your brain a moment to recalibrate. It’s easy to miss things if you keep at it for too long.”

He made his way back to the desk and the open laptop, though for now he left it alone - he wanted to give himself just a little more time to absorb the atmosphere, content and peaceful and altogether soothing. He had no doubt that there would be even more unpleasantness ahead, so allowing himself just a bit more time to enjoy the quiet was probably for the best.

He took a bite of his sandwich. It was an incredibly simple meal, but it tasted wonderful. The sweeter accent of the ham, the crisp lettuce, fresh bread...something so simple really was incredibly tasty! Spending time to make it, even just a short moment, was a lovely part of the experience.

He glanced out the window, to look at the tranquil view of the town, and a little further out, the river and then the mountains that sat across the Czech border, not far from the Elbe valley. Before becoming an Ajin, he used to go fishing there - on the Elbe river, with his son. Well, and his wife, but she barely felt comfortable looking at fish up close. She had always thought they were “creepy” - with big, gaping mouths and eerie round eyes...which amused him to no end, for how much she had loved seafood. She had always said...it was fine, from the market - but she didn't like to see it flop around on the line!

....Ah...

He didn’t think that the ache would ever leave, not completely, but thinking on fonder memories like that...he was definitely glad to be blessed with what time he’d had with his family. Too many people never achieved anything so wonderful. Though cut short, he had truly achieved bliss.

He could hear rustling behind him, Tenma starting to get back to work. With a last moment of reminisce, Grimmer returned focus to the computer in front of him, scouring the various folders of information he had accumulated in his stunt. 

There were some that were harmless - “Personal” contained little more than photos and schedules - ordinary personal files as the folder suggested. Of more relevance, there were folders with the names of each of the Ajins - himself included. He didn’t dare peruse those yet. He had...theories to what he might find, and he wasn’t particularly interested in learning that, not yet. 

There were also names of several companies, and a folder for financial codes...though he hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of what he found; they seemed to be codes that belonged to particular software he wasn’t familiar with, though they each pertained to one of the aforementioned companies. No doubt for processing transactions between the two. He recognized one as a notable arms manufacturer - most likely the same one he would have been loaned to, in the coming month.

...The good doctor really had been timely, in his brash rescue.

“Grimmer, do you have anything about...security protocols? A folder or a file…”

Tenma’s voice was accompanied by the sound of more rustling papers. Grimmer turned in his seat to glance back at the man, taking another bite of his sandwich. He seemed pensive or annoyed...most likely troubled that he couldn’t find what he was looking for. 

“This email chain is discussing an adjustment in security measures that needs the director’s approval. Something to do with an incident that occurred last month.”

Grimmer hummed, wiping his mouth as he turned around again, scanning the list of folders. Security….that would be a little further down the-

Oh!

“I think so. I probably have what you’re looking for, doctor. Here...”

Grimmer gestured for Tenma to come forward, the other man padding across the room and peering over his shoulder. There was a surprising amount of information inside the folder. Tenma gestured toward one file in particular - _transportation policy - amdt #2_

“This one. For transporting Ajins. I thought it might be important.”

Grimmer gave a hum, opening the file. “You’d probably be right. We’ll definitely want to know what the security regulations are for the transport of ajins, and if something’s changed recently, that’s even more important for us.”

A quick scan told them what they wanted to know; the policy was to equip companies with the necessary tools to properly subdue and manage ajins. It seemed to come with the issuance of tranquilizers - apparently they were the most cost-effective method, which explained the widespread use. Ah, and in bold red lettering the document warned against the use of lethal force...of course, that came as no surprise. If an Ajin died he would simply come back, free of injuries.

“It seems that in the initial transfer of Ajin custody, the government provides necessary tools to subjugate them...and this…” Grimmer gestured to one item on the list, drawing Tenma’s focus. “An armoured vehicle as the carrier...an armed guard per Ajin...I suppose they don’t want to take any risks.”

Tenma nodded, heading back toward his seat across the room again, picking up what was left of his sandwich. “That’s the part that needed approval. In the incident...an Ajin almost managed to break free. I don’t know if it was you or not. But it was proposed that a security detail be kept with them at all times during transit. It might be harder than you thought.”

Grimmer closed the folder, going back to the main directory again. He sat back, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. Would that make it more difficult? Tenma seemed to have a bit of a narrow view...but then, he wasn't entirely aware of the capabilities a Black Ghost had. Its strength...speed...it was good for more than espionage.

“Possibly….but, you’re forgetting…” He glanced sideways at Tenma, smiling a little. “That will definitely make the inside defensible...even with a Black Ghost, an Ajin on the inside will have a tough time breaking free if there's a security detail to shoot him. But, imagine what could happen if someone were able to stop that convoy...open the doors from the outside. It isn’t just the Ajins who would be trapped, faced with an external threat.”

Tenma made a noise - something hesitant and a bit uncomfortable. Talking like that probably unnerved him...but, it was true; while the Ajins would definitely be trapped and unable to escape on their own, a third party interfering from the outside could make short work of this sort of defense. Of course, there would be troops on the outside...probably. But between himself and Tenma they would most likely manage to get past them.

"No one's going to be killed."

Tenma's voice was stern, cautious. Grimmer glanced up again, giving a firm nod.

"Correct."

Tenma seemed satisfied, and returned to his much smaller stack of papers. Grimmer, too, returned his focus to the remaining folders, the ones he had yet to peruse, and--

“Ah, this looks a bit alarming...”

Grimmer eyed a particular folder near the top, ominously titled ‘Anti-Ajin’. He could take a few guesses as to what was inside….none of which were very pleasant. Litigation documents that legalized Ajin experimentation, or forced internment of potential Ajins until their nature could be confirmed. Perhaps the development of an armed force designed to hunt them down - and no doubt with the current global state of affairs, each of those possibilities would be welcomed very positively. 

Of course, speculation would only get him so far.

Grimmer drilled down into the folder directory, and watched as the window was populated by a surprisingly small number of files; several videos, a few condensed folders and a single document. 

Tenma had stood to go make another sandwich, his footsteps disappearing into the kitchenette. Grimmer opened the first file, the document. 

It was a bit difficult to read...it was some sort of report, written in high-level technical jargon. Even though it was written in German, the name of the author - and the project team attached - was Japanese. So then, it was probably a collaborative effort. He wasn’t going to make much sense of it...but it seemed to detail several weapons. There was...the Airburst Grenade Launcher MK-1. It had been commissioned by the Japanese government, it seemed; the project itself belonged to...ah, that arms manufacturer. If that was the case, then Grimmer could take a guess as to what this "latest Anti-Ajin weaponry" was, from the paperwork Tenma had found. The second item was a Pathogen Missile. He didn't particularly want to think about either country using chemical weapons in _any_ capacity...

Skimming a little further down, there was mention of one of Japan’s Ajin terrorists, Tanaka Kouji. He was the one that had been liberated by Satou. Now, there was an irony...this Ajin had been rescued by one of his own kind, who now terrorized humanity; Grimmer had been saved by a _human,_ one that hoped to, without any more violence than necessary, save other Ajins like him. How sharp a contrast....

Grimmer didn’t really need to read much more to know just what involvement the Ajin had in such a project.

He closed the document, glancing at the video files now. They all had very similar names - Ex_001 and so on, in numerical order. Grimmer opened the first file, watching the dialog window that popped out. The screen was very dark…poorly lit. It was almost impossible to see what was happening, he could only vaguely make out shapes in the forefront.

There was a voice, something said in Japanese. Grimmer didn’t know enough to understand it, but he recognized a few words; “001” came up, and at the very end the voice said “start”. It was clearly some sort of experiment, so 001 could be the test number, or a code.

There was a light that came on; it wasn’t especially bright, but it was enough to illuminate the figure at the very back of the large room, barely able to do more than squirm in his restraints. The ajin was wrapped from head to foot - covered completely, most likely as a convenience; it wasn't so hard to kill, when a human face couldn't be seen. 

The the sound cut out completely then. Now there was only the visual.

It was...almost worse, without sound.

Empty, apathetic, he was left only to watch a living being squirm and struggle in terribly cruel conditions, all the while knowing what was about to happen...knowing that this footage existed simply to be watched, that an audience would observe it and call the experiment a failure or success. Then--

The Ajin’s death was quick and violent. A flash of bright light, some sort of interference jostling the camera, and the body slumping down as much as he could, suspended like that. Even on shoddy video footage, Grimmer could see the dark particles in the air, the black matter repairing his body. 

It took the man a moment...Grimmer could see he was dazed, but that wasn’t uncommon. Despite the way that his face was completely covered, Grimmer could still discern _emotion_ from what he was watching; a frantic energy between fear and desperation, confusion, anger. The video cut, starting up again a second later, though time had passed. And then, the flash, and then again…

And again…

_This...._

_Again._

He glanced toward the video’s runtime. 1:16:15...it was only barely over a minute. He looked to the opposite side of the screen - to the folder directory. There were twenty-four video files, lengths varying between under a minute to five minutes.

**_Again._ **

He couldn't look away. His body felt inexplicably light, but the sensation wasn't like floating; it was like drifting, like being carried away, uncomfortable and numb. He was barely aware of what he was seeing, now, taking note only of sparse details; the intermittent death and revival of the Ajin, the lights suddenly coming on completely, another figure….a brief cut in the video feed...starting again, different room, different weapon, and then again…

_...ny way we can s….moving like that? It…..f a pain._

_...nt to be more caref...s time. We still d…...appened las…so we need t..._

Those were voices...fading in and out, voices that were coming from...that _weren't_ coming from that video. Something….in his head...and a sudden swell of fear….the desperate need to run. He needed....to run.

_....really matter? As long as….nd sedate him. Could y…..and one more time, ready…_

A shadow in his peripheral vision, far too close. Grimmer tried to stand, shaky steps, to leave...to get away from that shadow...but felt something holding him down….restraining him. He was moving...being moved...

_..f he just lis...on't have t...onger than neces…_

_..again, one more. Then we’ll break…_

“...you hear me? Grimmer...”

That voice was different from the faint echoes, closer…beside him. And familiar, like…

“It’s all right, it’s safe. You’re safe. Try to focus on me…”

Doctor…Tenma.

That was right, Tenma was...he was new...the new doctor. He...

“If you can hear me...I’d like you to let me know. Anything will do. A nod...if you can make a sound...something to show me. Is that something you can do for me?”

No…..this wasn’t that place. They left….Tenma took him away. Helped him. If that was the case...

“I want you to take a slow, deep breath for me. Can you do that, Grimmer?”

Tenma’s voice was softly spoken and welcoming - a request, not a demand, not an order. It was a voice he could trust. He was hazy...but at least Tenma’s voice had silenced the phantom memories. It was coming back to him...where he was right now...they had left. He and the kind doctor were on the outside now, no longer in that place. 

He did as Tenma asked. A slow inhale….and then out, just as slowly. He was starting to calm, awareness seeping back slowly. That feeling...the feeling that he was being held down...it was Tenma, holding him steady. He was on the floor...he could feel that he was trembling. Tenma...prevented him from falling.

“Good, so you can hear me...that’s good. It’s all right, Grimmer. Just keep doing that for now, keep breathing. It’ll pass...you’re going to be just fine. You’re not in any danger right now. We’re...safe, in a hotel in a little quiet village. Do you remember how you got here?”

Hotel. Hotel...Tenma had promised to help him...they were going to...to…

Ah.

The other Ajins…

Where they were now...this place...they had found something, he was reviewing information….Japanese Ajin...one of those terrorists. And then...a memory...

Slowly Grimmer opened his eyes, looking over the doctor. The slight quaking in his body had stopped, though Tenma still didn’t quite release him, most likely preferring to play it safe, in case Grimmer lost his footing. The Japanese doctor was watching him with such wide, concerned eyes, animated in his worry. Grimmer had certainly frightened his friend…

“I believe...I’m all right now.” He spoke slowly, trying to catch the younger man’s gaze, his expression earnest. “Thank you for reaching out to me.”

* * *

“Do you want me to grab you another one, while I’m here?”

When Grimmer hadn’t answered him, Tenma had peeked his head back around the corner where his friend was sat at the computer, just to see if he hadn’t heard. After all, he might as well make a sandwich for Grimmer while he was here. If he wanted one, at least. But when he’d glanced back around the corner...

He didn’t have to be a doctor to recognize a panic attack. Something Grimmer had seen had put him into a state of intense fear. And judging by what was on the screen…

Tenma felt his own stomach twist violently, his recently consumed lunch making itself very well known. He steadied himself - right now, he needed to be stable for Grimmer. He closed the distance and reached across his friend to exit the video - which was still playing in the background - but he’d made a mistake. Grimmer was aware enough of his presence to startle at the gesture, standing from the chair he’d been previously sitting in and taking shaky steps back, steps that certainly did nothing to keep the man upright. 

Ordinarily Tenma wouldn’t touch someone having an episode like this, but he didn’t want Grimmer falling and injuring himself. He moved to catch the man as he lost his balance, slowly easing him down to the ground in a crouch, starting to talk him through it. Grimmer was definitely aware of him...Tenma knew that much. He could see some sort of black particles floating around the panicked man, like the ones he’d seen when he had summoned his Ghost before. Grimmer had said that humans only saw them when the Ajin was directing some sort of strong emotion toward that human...which meant that right now he _had_ to be aware of the doctor, at least subconsciously.

That probably meant he was being perceived as a threat. Grimmer wasn’t fully aware of himself; whatever he was seeing...it probably painted the human in front of him as dangerous.

Tenma still didn’t back off, though, instead slowing his voice as he talked. The man started to register that someone was speaking to him, but there was no verbal response, not right away. That black dust he was generating did stop, though, disappearing after a while. That was when he seemed to start responding to Tenma’s words - breathing slowly….until finally…finally he relaxed.

It was _Tenma’s_ turn, then, to let out the breath he was holding. He let go of Grimmer’s shoulders, slumping into a relaxed position, head rolling back so he was staring at the ceiling. His eyes closed, and for a moment, he just focused on his breathing. This sort of thing...it was intensely stressful. Watching someone slip into fear like that...knowing what sorts of nightmares he might be seeing…that was emotionally exhausting. Even when he wasn’t the one hurting from it, seeing his patients suffer...the sort of worry and fear that brought him...that was hard to swallow.

Tenma wet his lips, opening his eyes finally, bringing a hand up to push unkempt bangs from his eyes. 

“You remembered something, didn’t you. One of your erased memories.”

There was a rustle. “That would make the most sense.” Grimmer shifted next to him, looking down at his hands, still clearly shaken from the moment, but he had regained most of his composure. “There were voices, I could hear fragments. I don’t remember any images...but feelings...I wanted to run.” 

Blue hues sought Tenma, though it felt more like Grimmer was looking through him, than at him. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite that afraid, even in the facility.”

From the few short seconds of what Tenma _had_ seen, he could understand why. The conditions were different; that Ajin had been completely immobilized, his - or her, all he really had to judge by was height and approximate build - entire body wrapped like some sort of mummy, a number printed across his face. And by how much he’d been struggling to move, they absolutely hadn’t administered any sort of sedative...nothing. He had probably been fully aware, endured it all. The same was...was probably true of…

“Don’t go doing that, doctor.”

Tenma’s gaze refocused. Grimmer was looking at him with a bit more clarity now,a serious look in his eyes, though his voice betrayed exhaustion. Tenma opened his mouth to speak, but faltered when Grimmer shook his head. 

“That look on your face...you’re projecting...'what if that was Grimmer'. You’re asking yourself that, aren’t you?”

He looked down, a little sheepish. That was answer enough.

“You want to know...genuinely, what happened in that place...what my missing memories mean. But...you saw the video, I think. All you’ll succeed in doing is cause yourself more pain and misplaced guilt. It’s better not to imagine, this time. Even I’m not sure I want to know. Not yet.”

Grimmer was right, of course. Agonizing over what _may_ have happened...it served no good to anyone. He couldn’t blame Grimmer at all, for not wanting to know. He was almost positive that if they dug deeper into those various folders...the one marked with his name...they could probably find a complete history of where Grimmer had been… _loaned out_ , and if he was involved in any sort of experiment like that one on the video, there was just as high a chance they could see it, too.

That was...the _last_ thing he wanted to see. It had been hard enough to watch him just now, enduring one of those memories, barely aware Tenma was even there.

“Was there anything else of note that you found, doctor?”

There was no urgency in his voice, but Tenma knew that his friend wanted to move on, to push the topic elsewhere. He could understand that. With a nod, Tenma turned to glance back to where he’d left his findings. There were little yellow sticky notes stuck into pages with pertinent information, but he could recall the most important points even without.

“You were right after all. The Ajins are going to be moved. In the email chain I told you about...there was a transfer order for all Ajins. They’ll be taken to a military base in Heidelberg co-operated by the United States Army. It coincides with a high-level meeting to discuss the terms to establish collaborative use of the Ajins between the two countries.”

There was a slight anxiousness to his voice, though he tried to keep it steady. The Americans made absolutely no attempt to hide their treatment of Ajins; if the German and American military were holding Ajins in a jointly owned facility, Tenma...didn’t want to think about what that could mean. Grimmer, however, had caught on quickly enough, his brows knitting, voice low.

“Then the transfer is most likely temporary, probably more of a holding facility; the American government wants access to German Ajins...and will probably take them overseas. It definitely doesn’t sound good.” He glanced up to Tenma again. “What is the effective date…?”

Tenma shifted, taking a deep breath as he stood, walking toward the pages again. He let himself slump into the chair, picking through his marked papers until he found the one he was looking for, skimming the page for the line he wanted.

“It’ll be the end of next week. To coincide with the Chancellor’s announcement.” He swallowed thickly. "Not a lot of time..."

Grimmer huffed, relaxing his posture a little. “Well, that gives us a bit less time than I thought! But, it still works to our favour. They’ll expect us to act sooner than later...they won’t anticipate an assault in transit, and certainly not by a single Ajin and a human. In the meantime, we can figure out what we want to do to help my friends."

Tenma sat back in his seat, letting his arm relax lazily at his side, head lolling back as he let out a sigh. 

“This isn’t exactly something I’ve done before. I don’t even know where to start.”

He cracked an eye open as he heard a soft chuckle from Grimmer, eyeing the older man with an uncertain gaze. For however exhausted he clearly was, that had sounded almost...cheeky.

“It’s a shame you don’t know anyone with any sort of experience keeping under the radar..!”

Well....that was true enough. Tenma heaved another sigh, closing his eyes. This headache that was coming on....

"All right, then. Let's hear it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As convoluted and silly as it sounds, the whole thing that inspired me to write this fic was actually that joint German-Japanese weapon (which appears in Ajin and such). It fed my brain bad ideas and here we are...tbh this is like the most Ajin-reference-heavy part
> 
> I hope that scene with Grimm was halfway decent, I don’t usually write PTSD scenes like that, even less so from the person’s mental perspective like that...poor Grimm. I was caught between writing their POV's and decided the obvious solution was _do both_


	5. Moments Before Dread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pair make their final preparations before they move to rescue the other Ajins and then the sparks start flying...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I was gonna put the first bit in this chapter at the end of the last one, but it felt like a good place to end...so I put it here instead. Behold the Getting Ready Montage. 
> 
> Perspectives switch around a bit in this chapter. It's like....4 scenes or so, but I felt they should go together because having them as individual chapters would've felt weird.

Maybe it was just a matter of what sort of person he was...but Tenma was genuinely surprised by how quickly Grimmer had rebounded from his episode. It wasn't that he was back to "normal", exactly - he hadn't moved from his spot on the ground, and seemed perfectly happy to stay there, relaxed and at ease. But his mind seemed sharp. If it were Tenma...he wasn't sure he'd be able to jump so quickly into actively using his brain, planning any sort of rescue or anything. But for Grimmer....

For him, that could be a distraction. A way he could _better_ use his mind, than let it linger on unsettling memories and emotions. He watched as the Ajin peered out, away from Tenma, through the window to his right.

“The question is less about getting the Ajins out...and more about where we go after, that we'll be safe.” His tone was calm, spoken quietly and slowly. He sounded almost like he had the first time Tenma had spoken to him, back in the facility - level headed and relaxed. But...that was only what he volunteered on the surface. Even now he was probably still tense, after what he’d experienced.

"If there are six of us in all, that’s quite a few...and while it’s true we would have that much more power together, it won’t make much difference if the Government is armed to take us down. What we found, from the director's computer...those weapons are designed for us.”

Grimmer looked at his hands, pausing only briefly to take a breath. He was definitely holding those emotions at bay. There was no _reason_ to, there was nothing wrong with being anxious..but if he didn’t want to show his vulnerabilities in front of Tenma….then he’d respect that.

“Truthfully I’m no combat strategist...and I’d be betting you aren’t, either. Numbers are only good if we know what we’re doing. I’m much better at hiding...and in that case…we need to disappear. So then, we bring the Ajins to a different location from this one. We wouldn't want to risk the chance we might have been found out here. Although...we would have to be careful. If one of us is captured during the rescue...they could find out where that is.”

Grimmer was talking about...interrogation. If they were forced to talk. Tenma heaved an unsettled sigh.

“It would make the most sense if only one person knew the location...and that person should be you. I can act as a decoy...draw attention away...while you take the Ajins.” His eyes opened again and he glanced towards Tenma. “There’s a higher probability of them trying to capture me first, because of Steiner. I have dangerous natural weapons they’d rather neutralize. Of course, I would leave Steiner with you...he can be difficult sometimes, but he can handle interference while you take the Ajins to safety. What do you think?”

What did he think…

He didn’t entirely know _what_ to think.

Tenma let out a slow breath, trying to relax. It had been stressful and daunting enough to break Grimmer out of that place, and that had been when he was granted easy access in and out of the facility, and saving Grimmer had been as simple as just...not taking him back and erasing his steps, any way he could be tracked or traced. But this was something entirely different. The idea of Grimmer using himself as a distraction to draw fire...

"No. I don't want to risk you getting captured again. If you don't have Steiner with you..."

There was a quirked brow from Grimmer, and then a smirk. He inclined his head just a little, so he was almost looking down on the doctor, with that curious expression.

"I'm capable of defending myself even without my Ghost."

The tone wasn't accusatory, but Tenma found himself looking down all the same, still listening as Grimmer continued on. "And besides that, I don't need to fight them. I draw them away....you take the Ajins to safety, with Steiner's help...and...I'll make my way back here." He went quiet then, waiting for Tenma to look up, to look at him, before he continued. "When you're sure that it's clear, and everything is safe...you come back here to meet me. We can be sure that nothing went wrong that way. Does that sound better...?"

He was hesitant, brows knitting. He...didn't like it. Grimmer gave him a sympathetic shrug, leaning back against the wall. "Truthfully, doctor, we're sticking our necks out no matter what. This is reckless and foolish, even if we take precautions. If I'm not willing to put in every effort...then, that's not very fair. And besides that, before I ever came to that place...I'd been hiding for quite a while. I know what I'm doing, doctor Tenma." The ajin smiled then, and he found he couldn't look away.

"Do you think you could trust me, just once?"

Tenma swallowed, aware of a growing lump in his throat.

__

Trust him...

__

He'd asked Grimmer to trust him before. Had given Grimmer little to no choice, in the beginning, but to trust that he wasn't being abducted, taken someplace worse. If he couldn't offer his own trust in return...

Tenma slouched forward, eyes closing in defeat. Slowly, he nodded his head.

“I...trust you."

He gave Grimmer a moment to absorb that, to register what he was saying. With a disgruntled sigh, he reached up and rubbed his temples. "...But even after that...we can't hide out forever."

There was a hum of agreement. “You're definitely right...the government will be quick to act, to recapture the Ajins. We’ll stick to hiding for now, and when we move...we stay out of sight. But in the end, once they've reached the safehouse...what the others do...and what we do...is up to the individual. If they'd like to go out on their own, then that's their choice to make. We can live our own lives." His expression grew grim, a more tired sort of look. "I don’t think that we’ll ever be able to live quietly...settle down anywhere. That’s the sort of life ahead of us. Where the only people we can trust is each other...it’s a bit lonely, but it’s better than what awaits them now.”

When Grimmer put it in that context, there was a small part of the doctor that felt reluctant. It would mean a distance from everyone else in the world. Giving up his relationships...he knew that friends like Becker...he couldn’t hold onto them. But _knowing_ he would have to let go and actually _doing_ it were entirely different. The hopeful side to him wanted to believe that friendships could be salvaged, that his friends thought more of him than just an opportunity to make good money in selling him out to the government. But…

He didn’t want to find out. He didn’t want to be let down.

He watched as Grimmer slowly pushed himself to a crouch, and then up to his feet, stretching. “In any case, that’s probably enough for now. We have a plan…we know when, and where...” He gestured around the hotel with a small smile. “We have a week and a bit left. For now, we’re not suspected here...so I suppose we can stay a while yet. We should take this time to prepare...plan...and rest, when we can.”

It...it was a lot to take in. Tenma wasn’t entirely sure he understood all of it just yet. He had a week and a half to figure it out...to perfect the plan, to make sure there was no chance of failure. 

Beating back his worries, Tenma pushed himself out of his seat, nodding firmly. “Right.”

* * *

Tenma felt just a little cold, under the blankets.

Sleep was rarely easy, even for him, even now. And after the exhaustion and excitement of the day...he’d known he wasn’t going to get any rest, not really. And Grimmer…turning slowly onto his side, Tenma could see that Grimmer was just as awake as him. He rolled onto his back again and let out a sigh - not loud, but there wasn’t any effort to keep it silent, either, knowing that his friend was awake, too.

“Having trouble sleeping, I see.”

Tenma huffed, rolling his shoulders and shimmying up a little in bed. There was a dull ache in his side...nothing painful, but just annoying enough that he noticed it. Maybe he hit something at some point...hadn’t noticed until now.

“You could say that.” He relaxed against the pillow, letting his eyes slip closed again. “There’s just a lot to think about. I’m mentally and physically exhausted, you’d think my body recognized that.” He chuckled, though it was an empty sound. Not _quite_ bitter, but close. Some amount of sleep would actually be nice, after all. 

“...But what about you? You’re not having any better luck, it seems.”

“I suppose that’s true, isn’t it? Though, all things considered...I imagine that’s to be expected.”

The blanket wrapped around Tenma felt abruptly heavier, even a little stifling. He pushed it down over himself, though he could still feel that weight. 

“That Ajin. Do you know...who it was?”

“One of the terrorists in Japan. Tanaka Kouji. I read his name before I watched the footage. It was quite graphic.” 

A pause. Tenma glanced at Grimmer again, only this time the Ajin was staring ahead at nothing. It was hard to make out in the dark, but his expression was something solemn, not like the smile he usually had. There was no need to pretend in a situation like this.

“There were quite a few files. The one I watched had several cuts in the footage. For him, it was probably almost constant. But like this...it’s presented in an easily consumed format, keeping only important tests for the ease of the viewer. Who knows how long the untrimmed footage runs for. I suppose...in that way, I can understand why he joined someone like Satou, who promises safety for Ajins and terror on the humans that wronged him.”

Tenma...Tenma could understand, too. He didn’t _agree…_ but he understood.

From the most base perspective, acting only on emotion, in direct response to how he was treated...responding to humanity as a whole with hatred was understandable. But...without empathy…

“Grimmer…in that situation, do you think…”

He was speaking without thought. As soon as he heard himself, Tenma clamped his mouth shut, shaking his head. That wasn’t appropriate at all. But deprived of sleep and...admittedly curious, his mouth had acted before he’d had time to process the thought completely. 

It was enough for Grimmer to catch on.

“Would I join Satou…is that what you’re asking? Would I join in the Ajin uprising...” The man shifted, turning onto his back to stare at the ceiling. “It’s hard to say, exactly. I don’t know what either has endured...so I don’t know how it would feel. If that man were the one that saved me...I would imagine I’d feel indebted to him, the way I feel I am to you. But terrorism on this scale…” He gave a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “I’d like to think that I would refuse...I want to believe that in such a situation, I would still hold onto something good in humanity...but who can say. At the very least...I’m glad that the person who saved me was someone like you.”

Grimmer’s honesty was both chilling and uncomfortable. Chilling, in that having come to know Grimmer, he wouldn’t want to imagine the possibility that he could have chosen a bloody path. It was a little uncomfortable, though, to think that even now, _still_ , Grimmer felt he owed him something. That was never _why_ he’d saved the Ajin. He didn’t want anything in return. _He_ was the one...he owed Grimmer, for...

“Thank you, by the way, Doctor. For earlier.”

Tenma blinked, taking a moment to process what the Ajin meant. If his mind weren’t so sluggish he would’ve known almost right away, but Tenma operating on an only half-capacity brain during godawful hours of the night wasn’t quite as quick, prompting the Ajin to clarify.

“You handled my outburst very well. It’s a bit embarrassing that it happened at all, but you handled it very professionally.”

Tenma gave a fonder sort of smile, relaxing a little more into the blankets, pulling them back up over himself as he eyed the Ajin. “Don’t be embarrassed. That’s...a natural response to have. What you watched...and remembered...was extremely traumatic. I’m just glad I was able to help. I was worried you might see me as a threat.”

There was more rustling and a pause, Tenma’s eyes finally starting to feel genuinely tired. He let them slip closed as he listened. 

“I think I did, at first. But, you know...your voice is very easy to listen to. Encouraging. It’s an excellent voice for a doctor.”

He was glad. It wasn’t fair for Grimmer, having gone through so much already...and then seeing that awful footage. The hardest part to accept was that Grimmer probably went through much the same treatment. If there was _anything_ that he could do to help, to comfort him...he was glad. His voice was encouraging and easy to listen to? Then, he’d be sure to talk Grimmer through any future episodes.

They both quieted after that, trying to sleep what few hours were left in the night. It was on and off, Tenma fitfully left in a state of semi-consciousness. He would manage to sleep, only to wake again with a racing heart. Sometimes he could hear Grimmer - soft, distressed sounds that betrayed his dreams. There wasn’t anything that he could do to help deter those. He hoped, at least, that in the future, the Ajin could have better dreams.

That they _both_ could.

* * *

In the morning, Tenma awoke to the wafting scent of lightly burnt toast. 

It wasn’t overpowering or pungent, but there was just enough of a smokey tinge that he could tell. Grimmer had probably left it just a bit too long.

More importantly, that meant Tenma had slept late. 

He pushed the blankets away from himself, standing and pulling fingers through his hair to at least mildly tame the mess he’d awoken with. He rubbed his eyes as he made his way toward the kitchenette, not daring to chance a look in the mirror; he _knew_ he looked exhausted, he didn’t need visual confirmation.

Grimmer was just plating up four slices of toast - two each - as Tenma came around the corner. He offered a sheepish smile as he set the two plates down.

“It’s a bit crispy...but still edible, I'm sure."

Tenma poured himself a glass of water, smirking a little to himself. He’d endured worse than burnt toast before. And, oddly, the humoured tone was a relieving change from the entirety of yesterday’s events. Now that he thought about it, they’d covered a lot more ground than he thought; they’d managed to acquire valuable information, had started sifting through pages and pages and even uncovered where the Ajins were going to be taken and when. Grimmer’s episode aside, that research data had been valuable too, alerting them to the project between Japan and Germany - weapons they had only recently completed. Weapons they probably had at their disposal now.

They had a little over a week. In that time, they had a lot of preparation work ahead of them. Tenma had an idea of where he could take the Ajins, but he needed to scope it out, make sure it was safe. Taking a few days to monitor activity would be enough. Then, of course, they needed to arm themselves for the attack on the convoy…

Tenma _knew_ how to use a gun. He just never thought he might actually have to. Hopefully his tranquilizer would be enough.

Just thinking of all they had ahead of them...right now, this failed toast blunder was probably the most peace they were both going to have for a little while. So Tenma let himself find humour in it.

He sat across from Grimmer and took a bite. As expected, it tasted perfectly fine; it was a little on the charred side, but he wasn’t picky or wasteful enough to eat around the crisped edges of the crust. Besides, with a little butter it was almost unnoticeable. 

“All we’re missing is bacon to make this perfect.”

Tenma glanced up, going for a sip of his water to drown away the rest of his toast. 

“Do you think so? An ideal breakfast needs bacon...is that what you think?”

“Well, the quintessential ‘family’ breakfast would be _eggs_ and bacon." There was a pause, Grimmer closing his eyes with a look of whimsy. "A delicious omelette...now, that would be wonderful!”

Tenma chuckled, covering his mouth with his hand. “Is that so...." He finished off his toast, wiping his mouth. "Then, when this is over, that's what we'll have. Bacon, cheese, pepper...whatever else you'd like...enough for everyone.”

Grimmer turned with a smile. “That does sound wonderful! Certainly a good way to start things off. A good meal in good company. And, you're a wonderful cook.”

Tenma shook his head as he headed to the sink with his plate. “Well, when you live alone, you really _have_ to be.”

There was a hum of approval from Grimmer back at the dining table as he finished eating. “We should keep the things we want to have or do in mind...not for now, but afterward. We can have things to look forward to when this is all over, so that way it’s not all stress and dread. I think it’s good, to look forward to something." He gestured toward the doctor with a full mouth, waiting until he swallowed to continue. "...And you know...there’s definitely one thing I’d like to do, with you, if you’d like.”

Tenma deposited the dishes in the sink, filling it with warm water. “And that would be…?”

He knew, of course, but he wanted to hear Grimmer say it himself. The man stood, walking back into the kitchen to help Tenma clean the dishes. Tenma handed him a glass and he towelled it off, putting it back in the cupboard. 

“We can find a quiet place, somewhere less travelled. Possibly near the border, there are some really excellent views there! But I’d like to go on a picnic I think, in the warm sun, with a friend. That’s what I look forward to.”

Tenma shut off the tap, turning with a warmer smile than before. It was such a simple wish, but at the same time, it really _was_ important to Grimmer. And that he wanted to share the moment with him...that said a lot. Tenma dried off his hands, giving an affirmative nod. “I’d be happy to join you. Absolutely.”

He headed over to the living room, turning on the TV. Undoubtedly there was going to be more news about Satou’s movement in Japan. Even if it didn’t directly involve him...he wanted to know what was going on. His family was there, and even if he hadn’t spoken to them in a while…

“What about yourself, Tenma? What sort of dreams for the future do you have?”

He relaxed back into the chair, closing his eyes for a moment as he listened to the news reporter in the background. Another murder, this time the director of a Japanese munitions firm. And something about the Chancellor acting on the peoples’ push to remove Ajin privileges..”in the coming days”....not that he was surprised. It would line up perfectly with the move of the Ajins into the military base, just like the report said. No one would question it.

“I don’t really know. All I want to do as a doctor is save lives...as many lives as I can, regardless of whose. If I’ll be living as a fugitive for the rest of my life, like you said, then...I guess I’ll find some way to help out those who can’t afford a doctor.”

There was a sound of approval from around the corner. “Then, we each have our goals, it seems.”

* * *

It was almost strange, to imagine...that rescuing his friends....that being free himself....was at all a possibility.

But it was happening, now. Things were all coming together. Slowly...but with the doctor’s help, it seemed a much less tedious task to prepare. Setting up shelter for the Ajins...and, readying themselves to take on an armed convoy. Tenma was already armed - thankfully, his rescue from the facility provided them with a single tranquilizer, probably the best sort of weapon for the doctor to wield.

It was more a matter of arming Grimmer, but...Steiner came in rather handy for that. Pilfering a gun wasn’t so difficult. His face being known came to be useful in this case; nearer to the city there were plenty of suspicious types, and all too eager crooked men that caught sight of an escaped Ajin were quick to fall into a baiting trap, leaving them sprawled unconscious and disarmed. Tenma was against it...though not for any moral reason; simply he didn’t like the idea of Grimmer using himself as bait. But, with the good doctor there to assist him if things went awry...it was hardly a concern. It _was _their best option; after all, seedy sorts like them wouldn’t alert the authorities to the movement of an Ajin when they, too, were wanted for numerous crimes.__

____

They were more than ready now, or so Grimmer hoped. He definitely would need to be careful, if he was going to play the decoy. But even still...killing them would only be a last resort. 

____

Grimmer knew that Tenma would rather not kill; while that seemed an inefficient method, Grimmer would respect the doctor’s wishes. And besides that… _he_ would rather not kill, either. He saw far too personally what death looked like...knew what loss felt like. 

____

As much as the people who worked in that place mistreated him and the other Ajins...as much as he couldn’t sympathize with them, even in the slightest….they probably had families...children. He couldn’t think to hurt their families in such a horrible, permanent way. Not without provocation, at least. 

____

The rest of that week was a blur, one that remained just barely peaceful. Both men were busy - incredibly so - in scheming their risky rescue. The coil was tightening, their anxieties toward the coming days growing over time. They took whatever moments of bliss they could, but there was only so much that could be done when their minds continued to wander to the dangers that lay ahead. Thoughts of failure, and what it could mean for them both - imprisonment or death in the doctor’s case...and Grimmer’s mind supplied cruelly creative endings to his own story should he be caught again. 

____

____

____

By the final night before they made their move, those thoughts became painfully distracting. Neither of the two slept more than a few winks that night, he was sure. 

____

____

____

The atmosphere in the morning, usually comfortably laidback and laced with some faint trickle of humour, was instead charged and foreboding. Tenma was trying to smile, but Grimmer knew that it was a bit forced. They both knew, after all, that today could very well be their last together. It was the last day of peace, definitely; all that came after was the success or failure of their mission, and after that...a life of running. Grimmer was confident...he believed that they could do it. They could rescue the other Ajins, and escape to safety. But there was lingering doubt. 

____

____

____

Ah, he wished it weren’t there, so that perhaps they could enjoy one last pleasant morning. The sun had barely begun to rise as they sat for breakfast, yet the tension filled the air with electricity. Grimmer cleared his throat, gesturing toward Tenma with a spoon. 

____

____

____

“Be sure and eat everything, doctor. I’m sure your appetite is suffering right now, but, neither of us can afford to be any less than at our best.” 

____

____

____

Tenma only nodded, giving no verbal response. Grimmer had hoped that he might lighten the mood with a little quip, but the good doctor was quite lost inside his mind, worrying for a future he couldn’t yet see. It was the quietest breakfast they shared together, and the most uncomfortable, though not to anyone’s fault. After all, if they _did_ fail today, then there was a very high chance that one, or both, would either be dead, or captured. 

____

____

____

As always, Tenma was the first to finish, taking his plate and glass to the sink to wash. He seemed even more in a rush than usual, though that was entirely understandable. If being active helped the doctor clear his mind, then he would allow him his peace. Grimmer, though, kept eating - a bit slower than usual; where Tenma seemed to feel the need to rush, Grimmer found that _slowing_ his pace helped him to calm. 

____

____

____

He was content to pace himself and gather his resolve - at least, until he heard a thud, a splash, and a soft curse from the kitchen. 

"I’m...it's all right, everything’s fine.” 

Tenma was quick to call out a reassurance, but Grimmer was already up and heading around the corner. Indeed, Tenma was fine - no glassware was broken, nor did he seem injured, though the sleeves of his shirt were a bit damp halfway up his arms, and….ah, the culprit! The pot they had left to dry from the night prior had found its way into the sink. Undoubtedly Tenma knocked the handle by accident. Arguably that was Grimmer’s fault for leaving it so near to the edge… 

He approached slowly, lips turned up in a small smirk that wasn’t quite a laugh. “Perhaps you should slow down. You’re definitely a bit distracted. Let me give you a hand?” 

____

____

____

Tenma glanced up at him, offering a somewhat more genuine smile this time as he shuffled aside, Grimmer taking the pot to dry off and put away, where there was no danger of it falling again. As before, the room was silent - at least, at first. Finally, though, Tenma spoke up, still busy with the dishes. 

____

“I guess I’m just nervous.” 

____

Well, that was plain, of course. But, that Tenma admitted it was a good start. Grimmer nodded once, setting the towel back to dry. 

____

“That’s natural, there _is_ a lot on the line right now. So you’re anxious...and that’s not a bad thing.” He gave a shrug, his expression mellowing a little. “I am too, definitely...but it’s easier for me to stay calm, I think.” 

____

Tenma looked up at him, his brows furrowed. He went to rinse and dry his hands, shaking his head. “This can’t go wrong. If it does...if we fail...if they capture you again…” He set his jaw stubbornly, putting a hand on Grimmer’s arm. The doctor took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he let it out, slowly, then repeated once more - in, out - before he addressed the ajin. 

____

“It won’t happen. I trust you, and that you know what you’re doing. It’s just that I don’t want to think of what could happen if we _did_ fail.” The hand on his arm grew tense, applying pressure on the taller man - though probably not intentionally. 

____

Grimmer took the doctor’s tensed hand and held it, so it was eclipsed by both of his own as he smiled at his friend. “And that’s why we won’t fail! But also…don’t forget what I said before, about thinking of what you want, once we’ve succeeded. That will help to keep you calm and level-headed. Your clinic...and a wonderful picnic!” 

____

Tenma’s eyes flicked up, then down, his expression neutral. “.....Yeah.”

____

His response was quiet, but audible, a bit distracted. Tenma wasn’t looking at Grimmer’s face any more, but at their held hands. There was an almost confused look, or perhaps thoughtful, though he didn’t pull his hand away. 

____

There was something about the feel of his hand, the way he looked at Grimmer... 

____

Those were dangerous emotions. Grimmer recognized them...he knew what it was he was feeling. He knew... 

____

Originally it was wariness he had viewed the doctor with, and then, slowly, trust. He was _fond_ of the doctor..definitely. Still, he approached the flutters with caution; Tenma was an incredibly kind individual - and to Grimmer, who hadn't felt such kindness - not genuinely - in so long...he had wanted to be sure that what he felt wasn't merely deep gratitude confused for something more. But...particularly in the passing of this last week...he was more sure, now. 

____

...Well, now wasn't the time to think about that. Grimmer made to turn, heading toward the hall, pausing only when the doctor spoke up abruptly. 

____

“Whatever happens…” 

____

He glanced backward over his shoulder, quirking a brow. Tenma was still standing there, beside the counter still, but his expression was stern, serious. There was that confidence again. 

____

“If anything happens, and they capture you again...I just want you to know that I’ll come for you. I _will_ come for you. I made a promise. When this is over...we’ll have a picnic together. I’ll make sure that it happens.” 

____

At that, Grimmer certainly felt the warmth of gratitude, but there was that caution again...after all, if Tenma came for him...there was no telling what might happen to the doctor, in turn. He was human, far more fragile and easily hurt or killed. His life was far more precious, it could not be lost. Still, he gave Tenma one of his smiles, a practiced facade to bury those worries. 

____

“I certainly hope it doesn’t come to that. But it’s very kind of you to give me such an affirmation. I feel much safer, knowing I have your support.” 

____

He didn’t make the same promise verbally, and he supposed he hadn’t given any cues to imply as much to the doctor, but...after all that Tenma had done for him, certainly going so far as to risk his own, singular life...if anything did happen to Tenma, he definitely...he definitely would do the same for him. Tenma was someone that Grimmer...wouldn’t mind risking his life for. 

____

Perhaps that was it, what cemented his feelings. 

____

Tenma moved forward then, a fonder, thoughtful look in his eyes, stopping within arm's reach of the ajin. 

____

“You’ve helped me understand a lot of things. I wanted to thank you for that. It’s because of you that I’m not just another drone in the system, absorbing what I’m told without second thought.” 

____

Tenma’s words were kind, and refreshingly rational; he’d managed to collect his wits. Grimmer answered in kind, tilting his head a little to regard the doctor. “And it’s you I have to thank for the hope that you gave me, both for myself and for the other Ajins. You gave me faith in the human capacity to be genuinely good.” 

Tenma reached forward then, his hand moving not to touch the ajin's shoulder, but higher, to hover over his cheek. It didn't touch - not quite, though he could feel it there. The doctor was looking at him with a careful expression. Grimmer glanced out at the now-risen sun, and then at Tenma. He was studying the ajin, trying to gauge something from his expression as he remained steadily, seemingly...waiting. Grimmer made no move to pull away, instead giving a silent, subtle nod. 

____

This wasn’t the best idea...not now. This sort of distraction...but in the end, he chose to surrender to emotion. He let himself feel as Tenma's hand made contact then, properly cupping his cheek, warm against his skin. Warm... 

____

Foolish though it was, he wanted this moment. 

____

Tenma's hand trailed downward along his face, moving to gently guide his jaw. There was no force in the gesture, and Grimmer allowed himself to be moved. He watched as the doctor closed the distance, slowly, until he could feel lips pressed against his own. 

____

Tenma wasn’t quite...shy about it, but the kiss was still gentle - more _uncertain_ than shy, more probing than nervous. Grimmer had tensed at first, but relaxed into it, returned it in kind. Only then did Tenma let himself control the moment, both arms around Grimmer as he leaned forward, into the kiss. 

____

It wasn’t incredibly passionate; instead the gesture was sweeter - but certainly more forceful than something chastely innocent. He was tender; he wanted Grimmer to understand - _this_ was how he felt, was what he wanted. The embrace, the kiss; the emotion as much as the sensation.

____

Most likely in Tenma’s mind...this was the best time to tell him - before the potential for failure. This was the last chance he would have, if anything went wrong. 

____

Even after it ended, Tenma didn't pull back; instead he simply held Grimmer, lowering his head a little and allowing his eyes to slide closed for a moment. Grimmer let his forehead rest against Tenma's. This was a comfortable closeness that was welcome. After a moment, Grimmer found himself chuckling, eyes closing as he reached up with one hand to brush Tenma’s hair from his eyes. 

____

“I’m a bit surprised. You’re more forward than I thought.” 

____

____

____

Fingertips trailed along Grimmer’s cheek, and he felt his heart flutter.

____

____

____

“Well...you weren’t going to do it. So I thought…while there’s time.” 

____

____

____

Oh, the doctor’s voice was almost sheepish. Perhaps it was just catching up to him, what he’d done. Grimmer didn’t open his eyes to spot the flush of Tenma’s cheeks, he could almost picture it. Instead, he slowly, slowly pulled back, maintaining contact as long as he could before letting go of the doctor, eyes opening finally, mirthful and bright, a lovely blue that sparkled. 

____

____

____

“I suppose we’ll have this to look forward to, when it’s over.” 

____

____

____

Both men looked out again, savouring the final moments of ease before they headed out. It was only a shame that this moment had to end. Everything that came after was going to be very stressful, for the both of them. 

____

____

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KISS...
> 
> I wasn’t sure if I wanted them to get to that point yet or not but…..tbh the scene just kinda went that way. So you get a lil smooch. 
> 
> But now we’re finally getting into the action again! Next chapter something is going to actually like... _happen._ Wow.


	6. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenma and Grimmer put their plan in action, but there is a price to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter honestly took me the longest to do tbh. I know I could’ve easily just gone “and then Tenma and Grimmer got to the place and did the stuff” but I really wanted to try to write out a coherent rescue scene from start to finish. Parts are a bit clunky but what can ya do

The warm buzz of the morning had faded. He was _glad_ for the moment they'd had, but it had been the final moment of calm for the pair. As they headed out, as they prepared themselves, all that was left in Tenma was uncertainty.

It only really struck him now, the gravity of what was going to happen. This was no longer theories and _maybe_ and _in the future_ \- this was _now._ They were really going to do this. They were really...

Both he and Grimmer were clad in black - nothing conspicuous, though it _did_ make them look a bit like the sort of person that he’d want to avoid on an unfamiliar street. They were both armed - Grimmer wouldn't have his Ghost to protect him, so he would have to rely on more conventional means of defense.

The Black Ghost was, effectively, their muscle; Grimmer would serve as a sort of decoy, drawing as many guards as possible, leaving the Black Ghost and Tenma to take care of the rest. The Ghost would handle occupying the remainder of the soldiers, which would leave Tenma to take the Ajins to safety. That was...the gist of the plan. But Grimmer being their decoy….he _trusted_ the ajin, knew that he was good at this sort of thing...but….

“Deep breaths now, doctor. We’ll have to get in position soon; you know what to do, don’t you?”

He was still nervous, that wasn’t going to change even with Grimmer’s reassuring voice. He did as he was asked, though, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “Stay out of sight. Wait for your signal. Bypass the guards. Evacuate the Ajins. Once they’re at the safehouse...head back to the hotel and wait for you...if you’re not already there.”

Saying it out loud did help to calm him a little. It gave him the absolute affirmation that he knew what they were doing - and by Grimmer’s contented hum, he could only assume he’d gotten it right.

“And of course, don’t get caught!”

Tenma swallowed, looking down for a moment. _And don’t get caught._ It was said light-heartedly, but that was his greatest fear. Less for himself than for Grimmer; there was only so much they could do to a human, after all. There were laws in place that protected Tenma from the worst of what the Government might have in store. But Grimmer absolutely couldn’t be caught. Whatever happened...he would make sure that Grimmer was safe. 

They had determined the route a convoy would have to take to transport the ajins to the base. When he and Grimmer had mapped the course, they had come to the same conclusion; a confrontation had to happen in open, rural space. Too far into the city and they ran the risk of being ambushed. Their safest points of contact were closer to the association itself, and the halfway mark to the military base in Heidelberg, where there was a long stretch of grassland, forestry, cornfields, and little else. They opted for the midpoint - the chances of any military support arriving in the middle of nowhere were lesser.

“Oh, they’ve passed the checkpoint, doctor. It’s like we thought. Three vehicles. I’d imagine the Ajins are in the second...it’s much bigger than the other two. I think they're more of an escort...”

Tenma nodded curtly, but gave no vocal response. He tried to sit still, but it felt like his skin was trying to crawl itself off his body. He rolled his shoulders and closed his eyes, turning his face skyward to absorb rays of sun silently. He knew that waiting was going to be hard, but he’d never thought it would be like this…

“Steiner is in position...I don’t believe they’ve noticed, there’s been no attempt to stop or slow.”

It was like before; having Grimmer beside him while he was...looking?...through his Ghost was the strangest thing. Only this time, it was even more stressful; the closer the Ghost got, the sooner they would have to get ready to make their move. He trusted Grimmer...he absolutely trusted Grimmer...he _believed_ in him. 

They could do this. They _had_ to.

He kept reminding himself of their advantages; Germany hadn’t ever been faced with any sort of Ajin uprising before, so the only knowledge they had to deal with Ajins was from what information their American allies shared, and from watching the mounting chaos in the East. Second, he and Grimmer couldn’t be ambushed from here, which reduced a lot of danger to Grimmer. More significantly, the government would have expected any rescue attempt on the Ajins to happen early on; as far as they were aware, Grimmer and Tenma wouldn’t know where they were being moved. They wouldn’t suspect an attack now.

“Can you tell me anything about the vehicles? What are we dealing with?”

Grimmer was silent for a moment, then shook his head. “There’s not much I can tell you from the outside. It looks fairly standard. Though I would imagine there must be at least one guard per captive Ajin on the inside. I would estimate in all we’re probably dealing with ten men. One to each Ajin, and then the driver and passenger side of each vehicle. We can’t be sure, but it’s safest to assume all ten have tranquilizer guns at minimum.”

Ten men. Ten to two. Five each...but that was assuming none of the men would be incapacitated when Grimmer made the first move. It was more likely that the two men in the first car would be out of commission, which still left eight. The four guarding the other Ajins would probably stay back until it was absolutely necessary...so realistically they would only be faced with four to start.

That was still nothing to be relieved at, not really. They were _trained_ , they were professionals. Tenma would be lucky to get just one shot in.

“We have about ten minutes now before we need to get into position, doctor.”

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, his head bowed for a moment as he collected his nerves. He felt Grimmer’s hand on his shoulder, firm and confident and reassuring.

“That’s it. Keep a cool head. We’re definitely going to be all right.” He gave the doctor's shoulder a squeeze. “Definitely.”

Tenma nodded, meeting Grimmer’s eyes and managing a smile that, however small, was genuine. He let out a resigned sigh. “I know. I know that.”

Now, they just had to wait.

Grimmer went ahead, leaving him to his own thoughts. That was dangerous right now...but at least he’d managed to calm himself, like Grimmer had said. He was crouched near the edge of the forest for now, just nearing the cornfield, so he was closer to the road; it was the only real cover in the area unless he ran back deeper into the woods, but he needed to be close. It was deadly silent, with only the breeze through trees and his own breathing. He had no way to call out to Grimmer to know where he was...he just knew his cue to act. 

For now, he just focused on his breathing. 

He knew that it was getting close, though, when he heard the dull, growing roar of an engine in the distance. He could feel the ground start to rumble, and lowered himself down just a little more as he watched the road, very, _very_ tentatively edging forward.

He could see the trucks, but there was no sign of Steiner. He didn’t imagine he’d be able to see the ghost right now; that put him at a disadvantage, but he would have to make do. He took another deep breath, and started counting the seconds. Grimmer had said that it would be…

...six.

..seven.

...eigh--

The sudden sound of metal bending and brakes screeching startled the doctor. He jerked violently, putting a hand over his mouth as he breathed slowly through his nose. As he looked, he could see the aftermath; the lead car had struck something invisible, the hood crumpled, and both vehicles behind it had halted. The car at the rear wasn’t quick enough, though, and so veered off the road to avoid ramming the back end of the much larger truck.

That...that was his cue to move.

His hands were shaking as he crept closer to the road. As predicted, there was no activity from the front car; he had to _hope_ that they weren’t dead, Grimmer had said that Steiner could be hard to control...but he had to believe in his friend. He moved a little closer to the first vehicle, enough that he could see. There were two men inside, one of whom was moving, the other….was unconscious, but he was breathing.

Even if the ajins were the main objective, Tenma was a doctor, first and foremost.

Now only barely shielded as he crouched in the tall stalks, Tenma could see three men moving, two coming toward the fields while the third approached the larger truck, shouting something before he joined the others. Grimmer was on the move, near enough that they had probably caught onto him and made him their focus; once an Ajin was incapacitated, the Black Ghost disappeared - that was probably what they were counting on. That was the entire reason Grimmer was drawing them away; at worst, Tenma now had...four...five, men to face. And between himself and the black ghost, they could probably manage just fine.

Speaking of which…

Tenma still couldn’t see Steiner, but he sure as hell knew where the ghost was; the way the armoured truck started to creak under pressure, then how the back doors contorted and opened…

So this was what it was like to have a Black Ghost.

From what Grimmer had told him, there was some sort of limit on them. He could only summon a Black Ghost a number of times a day, and...was there a time limit for the Black Ghost itself? He couldn’t remember that part. Tenma didn’t want to rely too heavily on it, just in case, but he knew it would probably be more efficient against professionally trained armed men than he was.

There were presumably four guards inside the transport truck, watching over the Ajins. The sound of shots echoing through the air, blindly firing at an invisible foe, was confirmation of that. Tenma took a deep breath, clutching his weapon close as he made a dash into the open, toward the truck. So long as the focus was split between Grimmer and the Black Ghost...he should be safe on his approach. He was the only one armed with a tranquilizer gun; if he could get a good shot at the guards, it would incapacitate them for a long enough period that he could evacuate the Ajins.

He pressed against the side of the vehicle, moving quickly around the corner to the rear. Leading with his tranquilizer, he peered up inside the trailer. Within a brief glimpse he could see where the Ajins were - there were men positioned beside each of them, though only two had weapons trained on target, while the others were seemingly looking for the Black Ghost. It gave Tenma just that split-second advantage. He took a shot, ducking back around the corner to avoid enemy fire.

There was no thud or a cry out to indicate he’d hit anyone...so he must have missed. And when he ducked back around the corner--

Tenma very nearly failed to move in time to avoid getting shot. There was one more man...a soldier, who must not have been drawn by Grimmer. By his injuries, he was probably from the rear vehicle, the one that went off the road. The jerky way he moved was very likely the only reason Tenma had managed to avoid the shot.

He didn’t have time to react though, because the soldier was moving again, this time using the blunt end of his weapon to strike Tenma at a closer range. That time the blow landed, the doctor falling back. He swung his arm out wildly, grabbing onto the other man’s gun as he fell, trying to pry it from his grasp...

...only for him to watch as the soldier was raised, squirming, into the air, as though held by something invisible.

Invisible…

Grimmer couldn’t afford to use Steiner to bail Tenma out like this. He had to be faster and smarter. And more careful.

The other man was violently thrown. Tenma let out a sound of protest, though he knew that the ghost wouldn't listen to him even if he _could_ see it. He couldn’t find it in himself to be relieved, even if it meant there was one less person to fight. That degree of violent force hadn’t been _necessary_. If this was how violent his ghost could be...

All the more reason to finish this more quickly.

He was back on his feet again, though now with a throbbing headache. Tenma could hear more shots, this time coming from somewhere in the fields. Grimmer…

There….were shots and screams from the truck, too.

Tenma’s heart thudded in his chest. Steiner had already shown that he could be violent if left out of Grimmer’s sight. This was supposed to be about rescuing the Ajins, but...Tenma wasn’t about to let those humans die, either. Whatever was happening in the fields...he trusted Grimmer to take care of himself. These humans were completely helpless against an invisible creature.

Tenma stole a peek into the back of the truck again, watching as one of the guards was thrown into the wall, colliding hard, a second one already on the ground, his arm shattered. The other two were targeting wildly, looking for the black ghost. Even knowing that guns wouldn’t stop it, that seemed to be their default response. Tenma couldn’t say he blamed them, not really.

He took the opportunity and used it to his advantage, taking aim at the two remaining guards. They hit the ground fast when they took the dart, but at least it meant they were incapacitated, and no longer a threat.

Tenma took a moment to wait - he couldn’t see Steiner, so he didn’t know where the ghost was or what it was doing. He didn’t want to jump in to rescue the Ajins if it was about to throw another person. When nothing happened, though, he figured that the ghost had desisted once the apparent threat was taken down. 

Tenma hoisted himself up into the back of the truck, slowly lowering his tranquilizer down and raising both hands in the air. He could feel the truck creaking, indicating that the black ghost was still there, even if it wasn’t acting. He wondered if it was the same one, or if Grimmer had summoned a second or third by now. 

He wouldn’t deny feeling a bit daunted by its presence. When Grimmer was there, he absolutely trusted it wouldn’t harm him. But right now…

“You’re that doctor. You’re Tenma. The one that took Grimmer away.”

Tenma blinked, looking toward the four Ajins. They were all in heavy restraints, keeping them from moving much, if at all. Of the four, two looked to be related - twins, a boy and a girl. There was another girl around their age, and a fourth, male Ajin who seemed to be much older. The one that spoke was the second girl - Tenma remembered seeing her with Grimmer a lot, when they were in the facility together. She had always seemed brighter around him, where she was usually a bit anxious. The voice she used now, though, was sharp.

Slowly, the doctor lowered his arms, first moving to check on the fallen men - and relieve them of their weapons. He flicked his eyes toward the girl, speaking with a slow, soft voice.

“...Yes. We...came to rescue you.”

There was a suspicious look, disbelieving but curious. "...Then that ghost...that was his?"

Tenma's answer was a nod.

The girl looked him up and down, the sharpness in her eyes fading - like she had only barely been able to maintain it - before she burst into tears. The other three took the message considerably better, though looked a little suspicious, even now.

“I thought….”

Her voice was shaky, unstable. Tenma approached slowly, crouching beside her as he started at the restraints. She seemed so young to be going through this. To imagine a girl her age had endured so much…

“I thought for sure I’d never see him again. I thought…I thought...”

Tenma felt his chest constrict at those words. What she thought...what they _all_ must have assumed when the doctor went rogue, taking Grimmer away without a word...they must have thought he’d taken Grimmer for his own gain. There hadn’t been any time for him to warn anyone about his plan, but...just the thought made him sick. He lowered his head.

“I’m sorry that we waited this long. We didn’t want to risk failure. It would have been worse for everyone, especially for you as ajins.”

Even once free, the girl was still a mess. Tenma had hoped she might at least help him free the others, but the shock seemed to render her almost inert. He couldn’t be frustrated at her for it; she was quite young, and to have gone through all that she had already...he absolutely couldn’t blame her. He moved on to the second Ajin - the older man with a thicker build, secured with more restraints than the others. He was probably perceived as more of a threat for raw physical strength.

“Truth be told, it’s probably better for you that it turned out like this.” The man rubbed his wrists, then moved to help Tenma with the twins. They were more receptive to him than Tenma, but that was to be expected. He smirked over his shoulder at the doctor, though it was far from a friendly look. “Because if it turned out you were as bad as we all thought, I told myself I’d find a way to kill you.”

Tenma’s eyes flicked up at that, and he couldn’t deny the slight sense of tension he felt. Regardless of his actions right now, he was still a human, one that only _Grimmer_ trusted. He didn’t know what the others would think. The other man had said that without the slightest wavering in his voice - an easy threat in a conversational tone. He meant it. But now...now wasn’t the time to be debating his intentions. This was their chance. They had to leave.

“Come on. We need t…”

That same Ajin was closing in on one of the unconscious guards, gearing up for a kick to his side. Tenma wasn’t fast enough to stop him from delivering the first blow, though he managed to grab hold of the Ajin as he wound back for a second.

“No! This isn’t the _time!_ I know you’re angry but you have to let it go...if you do this now, you’re no better than they are!”

He shrugged the doctor off easily, pushing him back without even looking his way. 

“You wanna volunteer for their experiments, doc? You try lying on that table for two odd years and tell me you wouldn’t kick the shit outta these guys given the chance. If he dies, that’s not my problem. I’ve been killed plenty of times by people just like him.”

This wasn’t the plan. They couldn’t _waste time_ like this.

“You should listen to doctor Tenma.”

That voice, surprisingly calm, belonged to the other male Ajin, the twin. He spoke so softly, but somehow his words silenced everyone. Even the anger of the oldest Ajin seemed to calm for the moment, as he turned to look at the boy. All eyes were on him now.

“All you’re doing is buying time for reinforcements to arrive. By now the remaining few are well aware they’re outmatched. This situation requires aid, which they can readily call for. I imagine they’ve sent someone already. They may even be nearby. Personal grudges are a waste of time.”

Tenma was silently thankful to the blonde, watching as the troubled Ajin relented. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He jumped down from the truck, the others following suit, except for the younger of the girls. She stood at the edge, her eyes going out toward the cornfields and the forest as she crouched down, feet dangling over the edge.

“What about Grimmer?”

Tenma felt a very slight nervous energy in himself at those words. _What about Grimmer._ He had said that he’d meet Tenma at the hotel when it was over and the Ajins were safe at his undisclosed hideout. He was asking Tenma to have faith in him.

What Johan had said...reinforcements...right now, his choices were either...to trust Grimmer’s judgement and take the Ajins to safety, or to risk jeopardizing _everyone_ on the off chance that Grimmer needed help. He knew what his decision had to be. 

He turned to the girl with a smile, warm and welcoming, reaching out to take her hand. “Don’t worry. He can take care of a few guards. He told me to trust him, and I do. He’ll meet up with us later. That's what he told me.”

Saying it aloud helped him to calm down a little. If something _had_ gone wrong, they would’ve heard by now. The smile he gave the girl seemed more confident.

After a few moments of consideration, the girl reached out, taking his hand to help herself down. Tenma gave one last look around, just to make sure they were alone. He gestured toward the Ajins. All four of them...this was going to be difficult, but they’d manage. At least they didn’t have to hide right now, without anyone watching them.

“Follow me, back through the forest. It’s a bit of a walk...but we didn’t want to risk being noticed by the convoy.”

* * *

He had only managed to draw the fire of three men…

Well...at least that would cut down the number by five in all, considering the state of the first two. Steiner had restrained himself...but, Grimmer had to hope he would continue to do so for Tenma’s sake.

Now, he had to neutralize or elude his targets and regroup with Tenma at the hotel. Three men...that wasn't terrible. He could manage with three.

Grimmer kept low, moving quickly and quietly through the woods. His dark clothes kept him well hidden, though against professionals he wasn’t so sure it would be enough. He spotted movement from the corner of his eye and grew still, quickly sweeping the area. There were no other signs of movement or sound to indicate this was an ambush, only the one. Grimmer turned, gun held in front of him, breath coming as quietly as he could manage. Again, he saw movement from his peripheral - the same person, probably. Just one looked like a promising target...but, he didn’t approach. They knew what they were doing; this was most likely some sort of trap - an attempt to lure him forward. The others were probably nearby.

Grimmer was quite comfortable to stay where he was.

There was no urgency in his movement; it was _Tenma_ who was on a time limit, Grimmer could take as long as he needed to return to the doctor. Of course, he would prefer to be back sooner than later...the doctor would worry very dearly if he didn’t arrive in a timely manner, and most likely assume the worst. 

He pressed backward into the trunk of a tree, drawing a deep breath in and letting it out slowly. He couldn’t stay in one place….but he also couldn’t move without--

He tensed at the sound of a shout, and what sounded like a gunshot nearby. Grimmer quirked a brow; he hadn’t moved at all, which then implied that...his pursuers had caught onto an incorrect target. If their attention had been snared by something, then now was the best chance he had.

Keeping low, Grimmer backed away. He made sure that he was facing the direction of the sound - in case they came after him, or noticed him - but his eyes flicked every direction, catching every movement, every sound. Most likely some unfortunate animal was serving as his scapegoat, but at the moment he couldn’t offer sympathy to the creature.

Grimmer stepped carefully, eyes dropping to the ground to make sure he avoided any branches. They shot up again when he saw movement, noting one of his foes in the far, far distance. At this range….he was probably safe from sight. He darted to the next tree, gun clutched tightly in hand. Slowly, he made his way forward, now out of the front-standing soldier’s line of sight. He would need to be a bit closer to land a good shot...

Normally he wouldn’t bother with them...but, he knew that if he left these three alone, they would eventually tire of him and pursue Tenma instead. He would have to deal with them.

He took aim, drawing a deep breath. As long as they couldn't move...they couldn't pursue. He didn't need to kill them, only render them useless. Grimmer landed a clean shot on the first of the soldiers, watching him lurch with a cry, quickly moving out of Grimmer's sight. He’d hit the man in the leg, though it wasn't enough to put him down; he was wounded, which put him at a disadvantage. For the moment there was no need to pursue, particularly with two others still out and about. An injured man was sluggish and slow, far less of a threat. His focus, then, was on the remaining two. As to where they-

There was a faint whistling, and then something...stung. 

Grimmer glanced at his arm in surprise, then behind him. From somewhere....in the trees. They had moved, surrounded...

_Tenma is waiting. Doctor Tenma...._

No….he wouldn’t be meeting back with his friends, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grimmer :( The next chapter is _really_ gonna suck for him….this is where I start adding new content warnings again :’D 
> 
> It was interesting writing Roberto and Johan though. They're both still messed up just...for different reasons...
> 
> In case it wasn’t entirely clear the second female ajin is sausage girl! But obviously I can’t call her that. Lol. She shall be given a name.
> 
> Ajins = Kinderheim? Yes indeed. Now there _were_ technically other Kinderheim kids to pull from (Christoph, Stefan) but tbh? Having Anna/Nina there is good and also I just really really like the idea of sausage girl and grimm having a sweet friendship. So she's the other one.


	7. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmer has a _bad fuckin time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS VERY MEAN I’M JUST WARNING EVERYONE IN ADVANCE….it’s pretty much entirely a torture scene and while you don’t always _see_ what’s happening, it’s still very very brutal. And it more or less contains that one scene from Monster. You know the one.
> 
> Specific warnings for fingernail torture, medical technology used as torture device and lack of sight (like no eye gauging or anything he just...can't see).
> 
> Normally I wouldn’t write the torture outright but tbh it has a lot of good characterization stuff in this case...forgive me...

Grimmer was coming to.

Exactly what had happened was a blur. He remembered vaguely...the convoy, the Ajins...he and Tenma had…..failed? Or succeeded? It wasn’t clear...his memory was foggy, distant. He recognized the groggy sensation, and with that knowledge came a faint realization.

He had been caught...he remembered that, now. He had been shot...he recalled...he was a decoy, had shot one of the troops...then dizziness...and now...

Ah...this was all rather disorienting.

It had been some time now, since he had last felt the effects of a tranquilizer gun. Grogginess...the fuzziness of his head...muffled noises slowly starting to come into focus and dipping out again...it wasn’t unlike waking on that table, though there was one very distinct difference. In that place, when he woke, he would open his eyes to blinding lights overhead and, perhaps, the scrutinizing eyes of surveyors. But here…

It was entirely dark, when he opened his eyes. And the faint scratching of something against his face when he blinked told him why. He tested it, scrunching his eyes, feeling that same faint itch of fabric. So, they had taken away his sight then. It felt like thick fabric, by what little he could gauge through its sensation alone. There were very faint flashes of light - it wasn’t _true_ darkness, the fabric still allowed a bit of light to filter in. Enough that he could detect movement if it was very close. Though, that wasn’t particularly useful.

He seemed to be upright, which was also strange; he would have expected to wake on a metal table, lying flat, but instead he was seated. A quick test of the muscles in his arms and the flexing of his wrists told him that he was, indeed, rendered inert. Even his legs seemed to be fastened, though he had at least some mobility in shifting his legs up and down, if only barely. All very standard restraints, he wasn’t surprised by his predicament. His head seemed to be free to move, though, as he tested both directions. He even managed to lean forward a ways before the pulling against his arms forced him backward. It didn’t award him much movement, but at least now he could visualize more clearly how he must look. He didn’t bother to test a full sideways tilt; on the chance that the chair he found himself in wasn’t bolted to the ground, he didn’t especially fancy falling onto his side.

He couldn’t hear much of anything to know if he was alone. It seemed unlikely that he would be; at minimum, he was probably under surveillance. They would have seen him by now, testing his restraints. He quirked his lips into a deliberately exaggerated smile, attempting a wave with one hand as best as he could, only able to bend his wrists so far.

There was no response.

“I suppose they’re probably going to make me wait…” he murmured to himself, shrugging his shoulders. He was starting to feel a bit hungry, but that was unfortunately not something he could indulge right now. He didn’t imagine that in this sort of situation, they had much mind to cater to his needs.

As it was, he couldn’t do much but...well...sit, until someone came to fetch him. Hopefully, that would be sooner than later.

On regular intervals, he would go through as much of a range of motion as he could. It probably wouldn’t matter, in this state; he doubted he’d be up and walking any time soon, if at all. But, on the off chance that he was awarded some attempt at an escape, he needed his muscles not to be stiff from complete lack of use.

A click was his first clue that someone had entered. The sound of footsteps was the second.

“Good…ah...” he started, then paused, brow quirking behind the blindfold as he gave an amused huff. “I would say ‘good evening’ or something like it, but I’m afraid it’s difficult to tell the time of day as I am.”

“Damn, you’re awfully calm. I wasn’t expecting that.”

Ah. Now, _that_ was a voice Grimmer didn’t particularly want to hear. 

It was true that Zeman never behaved violently towards the Ajins while under the facility’s scrutiny, but his position on the treatment of Ajins was quite clear. The last Grimmer was aware, Zeman was supposed to be removed from the Ajin branch entirely...whether by choice or not, that was never made clear, but Tenma was intended to replace him, at that time. Perhaps he was forced to remain as a result of the kinder doctor’s unanticipated betrayal of the program.

Grimmer leaned his head back, trying to seek the source of the man’s voice to at least determine where he was in the room. “And I’m quite surprised to hear your voice at all! You weren’t able to transfer jobs, then?”

The response he received was a hearty chuckle. He focused on the sound of footsteps, trying as best he could to track Zeman’s movement. He wasn’t close enough that he could see any flickers of light beyond the fabric covering his eyes. 

“You kidding? This is a _promotion_. I’m getting bigger bucks under an American contract...and it’s all thanks to you and your buddy Tenma. So I guess you’re stuck with me, _Ajin_.”

Ooh, that tone...he said it as though Ajin was a slur or an insult. Grimmer gave his own light chuckle in response.

“That’s too bad! I don’t have very many fond memories of you. Not one, in fact.”

He could hear movement again, and then he saw it - the faint passing of a shadow beyond his sight. Zeman was quite close now. Directly in front of him. Grimmer’s awareness became sharper as he focused on the movement just in front of him.

“Afraid I’m not here to entertain idle chit-chat. I’ll make this pretty frank, you have information we need. Like where to find your Ajin buddies and your doctor friend. You don’t _gain_ anything by telling me, as soon as we get the Ajins back, you’re being shipped off to the Americans. But if you _don’t_ talk…” 

A deceptively friendly pat on his shoulder made Grimmer tense for the briefest moment, his heart rate at least doubling for a half-second. “then I have the pleasure of forcing it out of you. Whatever that requires.”

Well, he was definitely plain about his intentions. But it was probably better that way. There was certainly a hint of delight in the man’s voice, he was probably _hoping_ that Grimmer would refuse. He supposed that for a man to be as kind as Tenma, at least one must exist to oppose him with equal cruelty.

Grimmer recovered from the unexpected contact and relaxed again, tilting his head up toward where he thought Zeman was standing.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Or do you think you could handle a visit from Steiner...?”

He spoke evenly, tone neutral and devoid of any emotional tells, though he certainly wasn't as bold as his tone seemed. Zeman only scoffed, undeterred by the threat. 

“We’re really not stupid, if that’s what you think. We’ve got you on surveillance. Anything happens to me while I’m in here, and you get put down. And besides that, you already used him up today, didn’t you?”

Grimmer felt a jab at his chest and grunted, though the tension eased up moments later. He didn’t doubt they were watching everything, he’d already speculated as much. If he was going to summon Steiner, it had to be very carefully planned. He needed an escape route before doing anything foolish. Acting blindly would only land him back in this chair, or worse. 

Still, he needed to think quickly. He knew that Tenma would come for him. If possible...it would be much better that he escape on his own. Safer for the doctor.

At least now he knew it hadn’t even been a day since his capture. 

“You must be so glad that the association is closing down. You no longer have any reason to hide your hatred of us, nor your pleasure in watching us suffer.”

Zeman chuckled again….an ugly sound belonging to a man with an ugly heart. “Just makes my job easier. Now, how about we start. Where can I find your friends?”

Grimmer tilted his head with a mild smirk, decidedly ignoring the question that was posed.

“I wonder...are you the one who authorized the illegal loaning of Ajins under the association's protection…? It seems your project turned quite a profit on those arrangements...no wonder Germany succeeded, where others fell apart! With the military and arms manufacturers as your primary buyers, no doubt you did quite well for yourselves...though I must say...there’s quite the gruesome footage in your records.”

That was all information that shouldn't be known. He wondered if that statement had made much of an impact. The utter silence that followed was evidence enough. Grimmer took the opportunity to push on, taking control of the conversation for the moment.

“There are some very alarming gaps in my memory, and those of the other Ajins. I had my theories of course, but those files definitely confirmed them. Despite the association’s comforting exterior, you were really using it as a cover for much less pleasant experiments secretly sanctioned by the Government and kept out of public eye...that way Germany could continue to look on as such a successful forward-thinking nation in the developed world, while using us Ajins for twisted projects no better th-”

Sudden, firm pressure around his windpipe choked the rest of his sentence into silence. Grimmer was struggling now simply to breathe. Lack of sight really was a bit of a problem...

“I don’t know how you know that, but it frankly doesn’t matter. You’re the same idiot who applied for the program when you found out about it, but just look at it logically. Do you _really_ think the Government would fund a project like that, when any other country that attempted it failed? It doesn’t take a genius to spot a honey trap. What other country in the world has _five_ ajins at its disposal?” He heard a scoff. “No animal will just walk into a cage. But, if you put something nice in there, suddenly it’s more appealing.”

Grimmer's brow creased. Comparing Ajins to animals now…that was _incredibly_ low-brow. Even for him. Though, possibly it was a poorly chosen metaphor...

The grip on his throat tightened, Grimmer starting to feel light-headed, his lungs burning for air. Just as he was sure the man intended to kill him, he was released from the choking hold. Grimmer fought to fill that emptiness in his lungs, pitching forward, hair falling in his face as he caught his breath. 

None of that was new information, not really..but now it was confirmed truth rather than speculation. What had looked like protection from the outside really had been nothing more than an elaborately crafted lie. 

All except for Tenma. 

It seemed likely that the medical staff were not in the know; after all, even the doctors had seemed genuine in what they considered “kindness” toward Grimmer, however warped it really was. They were probably hired with the genuine appearance that the association was a medical research and ajin protection program, while upper management played to whatever whims the government had. 

Zeman clicked his tongue, snapping Grimmer’s attention forward again. He didn’t fancy another test of his lung capacity so soon. 

“I don’t know what you’re after by telling me all that, but it ain’t getting you anywhere. You get one more chance to tell me what I want before I start getting creative.”

The ajin closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I guess I won’t be throwing you off...though, such a violent response...I think it bothers you more than you’re willing to show. You’re worried about what else I might know. But I’m afraid to say…” He gave a shrug of his shoulders, the smirk back on his face, though this time it was harder to maintain. “It really doesn’t matter what you do to me here. I won’t die...and I’ve endured quite a bit of pain in my day. Torturing me really won’t get you very far, if that’s what you think.”

He heard a heavy sigh, and once again felt that hand on his shoulder, though this time with more pressure than before. The grip wasn’t enough to break bone, though he was sure he would have some purpling bruises there to match his throat in a few minutes. He felt Zeman clap his shoulder twice...again, that mock-friendly gesture.

 _”Mister_ Grimmer...”

His name was spoken almost light-heartedly, with a rough squeeze against his shoulder. The grip loosened then, Zeman’s hand moving down along his arm, sending an unpleasant chill across Grimmer’s spine as he concentrated on the movement. The question in his mind was what Zeman would do; was the aim to break his arm, perhaps hold him still and fill his veins with some truth-telling serum, or even still head further down and shatter his wrist? His fingers? 

He had to admit that not being able to see - only feel the faint trailing gesture - was daunting. Unable to see Zeman’s intent, he had no way to prepare himself. That was probably the point.

“I really don’t care _what_ you know. I’d sure love to find out how you came across that information, but really, it doesn’t worry me in the slightest. Because once we have the other Ajins back where they belong, and Tenma’s in our custody, it won’t _matter_. And if you’re trying to threaten me that your doctor buddy’s gonna make any of that footage go live, I mean...I hate to thank Ajins for anything, but I gotta hand it to those guys in Japan...they really got public outcry against Ajins at an all time high. So go ahead, publicize it. No one’s gonna care. They might even show their support.”

He felt Zeman’s hand finally go still, resting over his own with a very slight pressure. It moved a little further, until he felt a pinch at his index finger, firmly at the first knuckle. Grimmer couldn’t help but close his eyes behind his blindfold and take a slow, deep breath to steady his heartbeat. He had a feeling he knew what was going to happen next, even as he felt something sharp and cold wedge itself beneath the nail, worming up underneath the bone until it became uncomfortable. He fought back a shudder, gritting his teeth hard to keep his jaw set.

“You better start talking.”

_SNKT._

Sudden, sharp pain shot along from Grimmer’s hand, followed by a duller, but no less painful, throbbing ache. He felt as the metal clippers twisted the nail, his fingers trembling, shudders making it past his clenched teeth as Zeman moved to the next finger, working the clippers under the nail again. He couldn’t stop his hands from trembling as --

_SNKT._

He tried not to make a sound, but he heard his pained gasps all the same, choking on the shooting pain. Zeman was deliberately erratic; Grimmer had no way to prepare himself on intervals, he was left to guess and brace himself as best as he could for the next nail. But even so, this pain...it was by far a minimal suffering compared to others he had endured. Horrible though it was...not even this was enough to make him talk. Certainly not enough to make him sell out the kind doctor.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re enjoying that.” Zeman hummed, his voice so bizarrely conversational and relaxed. “It’ll stop if you just talk, you know.”

Grimmer ground his teeth together, fighting a shudder. He took a deep breath and let it out, then sniffed indignantly. “I’m afrai- _hhh_ -”

He cut himself off as yet another nail was torn sharply, his hand shaking more violently in nervous anticipation of the next. He swallowed the pain, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

“--id you...haven’t really convinced me.”

Zeman clicked his tongue. “That’s just fine. We’re only just getting started.”

* * *

What had seemed so smooth, so seamless, the plan that seemed impossible to fail….it had all come at far too high of a cost.

Tenma had felt uneasy about it, the idea of letting Grimmer run as a decoy in the first place. But he’d been so sure...so confident that he could pull it off and come back. Tenma had made the choice to trust that judgement, to trust Grimmer. But now….

The breaking news announcement had hit him hard. _Escaped Ajin captured._ They hadn’t given anything away about where he was heading, only that the Ajin was “being taken to an undisclosed location”. Media probably didn’t know, of course. But it meant that now….any chances of rescuing Grimmer were heavily diminished. 

The atmosphere in the hideout was grim and despairing at best.

Tenma knew the ajins didn’t trust him, but at least they seemed to recognize that he hadn’t _wanted_ this to happen. Grimmer’s capture had hit them all - they seemed to at least see that he was no less miserable for it.

Of the four, the youngest was taking it the hardest. Tenma wasn’t surprised, of course. Crouched beside her, with an arm around her shoulders as she sobbed pitifully, all he could think of was what Grimmer had told him once, about the Ajins in that facility. Grimmer...had been there the longest, was seen as a sort of support to the others. He was the one that gave them hope, that kept some semblance of good in their lives with his smile. They...lost him twice, now.

At least the four had been willing to give him their names. The oldest among them, the one who seemed to be the most violently inclined, was Adolf Reinhart. That was a name that Tenma remembered reading in the documentation he and Grimmer had stolen - apparently he and Grimmer had known each other the longest. The twins were Johan and Anna Liebert, and the girl he was holding now was Giselle Krause. 

“You said that he…” Giselle dabbed at her eyes, her lower lip quivering as she futilely fought off more tears. “...that he’d be fine. You said he’d be back.”

He didn’t know what to say. 

Grimmer was _supposed_ to be with them. He was supposed…

“You’re not leaving him with them, right, doc?”

Adolf’s voice was soft, but Tenma knew it was a threat. If he left Grimmer, if he made any implication that he would, there was no doubt that Adolf would take it out on him. As far as he - as all four Ajins - were concerned, he was just another human that had failed them. 

The very thought of leaving Grimmer behind was completely impossible. 

It might have been the most logical choice - and, possibly, what Grimmer would have _preferred_ if it meant the safety of the other four - but there was no _logic_ to Tenma where Grimmer was concerned. Grimmer was someone that Tenma valued, someone he cared deeply for. But even besides those more personal emotions, he couldn’t possibly turn his back knowing what would happen to the captive Ajin. What they would do to him...how he felt about Grimmer was irrelevant; the abuse he would suffer was reason enough to look for him.

He clenched his fists, slowly standing to face the taller man. He met Adolf’s leering gaze with an impassioned and severe one of his own, undeterred by the Ajin’s imposing presence.

“I can’t. I promised him...I _told_ him...that if something happened...I said I’d come for him.” He glared down at his fist, gritting his teeth. His hand was shaking. “But right now...we don’t know where he is. We don’t know how to find him.”

Tenma’s hair hung down in his face, the despairing atmosphere once more filling the room. Only Johan seemed to remain serene, definitely the most cool-headed of the Ajins.

“Fretting won’t help, doctor. All you accomplish is to feed your guilt. I’m sure it’s not what you want, but we should take our time. We know he’ll be taken somewhere secure. Our focus for now should be on planning _how_ to get him out.” Brilliant blue eyes were trained solely on Tenma now, the blonde folding his hands behind his back. “It should be easier this time, doctor. You have four immortal soldiers at your disposal, instead of one.”

Tenma took a moment to process exactly what Johan was saying, his eyes widening. He shook his head. 

“You're not _soldiers_. Immortal or not...I won't jeopardize you for his sake.”

His words were met with mixed responses; Johan remained undeterred, but the others seemed confused, or otherwise surprised. But then, given what they were probably used to...

“I don’t know that that’s your choice, doctor.”

He looked back to Johan, to that unnaturally serene look about him. Johan was looking away from him now, avoiding eye contact for the moment. “If I willingly sacrifice myself to help further the rescue, knowing I will come back to life, that decision belongs to me. I’m making it of my own choice. The others are free to decide as they please.”

Tenma...wasn’t fond of it. He absolutely wouldn’t willingly sacrifice the Ajins for the sake of rescuing Grimmer. Even if Johan seemed willing to die...even if that was his choice...if Tenma was the one taking charge, he refused to intentionally sacrifice their lives. Even without speaking, he could see Johan’s demeanour change, as though he understood. He watched as the blonde turned away, his back to everyone now.

“I have a good plan. You may choose to hear it, or not. But, if even a death that holds no weight is beyond what you can accept, doctor, then I suggest you produce a better one. Let us hope that you think quickly.”

* * *

It was a bit different...being tortured, compared to lying on that table. Not in a particularly good way...but not in a bad way, either. It felt, at least, less dehumanizing; he was, after all, being addressed as a person like this, even if it was under entirely terrible circumstances. And his awareness was consistent.

But, so was the pain. And if he could at least see, it wouldn’t be quite so awful.

He wasn’t sure if it was all Zeman. There were definitely more than one set of hands - he could tell by the way they felt; at one point he was definitely sure the hands that held him still belonged to someone with a slighter frame, though it was no gentler. 

They really were relentless. He could feel blood on his face, from where they had broken skin at some point. He wanted to wipe it, but restrained as he was had no means to do so. That alone was incredibly frustrating...but it gave him somewhere else to focus his emotions. Minor grievances took away from some of the pain. His fingers were definitely broken, that was a bit difficult to block out, but by far it was a lesser pain. 

There seemed to be no end, it would get very disorienting...they would inflict their pain, usually avoiding his face so that he could still speak, and when they grew dissatisfied by lack of compliance, it was a simple matter to execute him to start again. Grimmer chose not to count how many times it had been now, he didn’t especially care to know.

He took his solace elsewhere, in knowing that he had absolutely infuriated the man who despised him so - and that he, in turn, could truly say that he loathed. His continued refusal to speak only aggravated Zeman more. He was tired...incredibly exhausted...but angering that terribly corrupt and utterly unlikable man was the only fuel that Grimmer needed to keep going.

“It’s just like I told you…” His voice was wheezy, spoken around a mouthful of blood. “You really...won’t get anything out of me.”

He could feel as Zeman tapped his fingers on his painful shoulder. Dislocated...? Probably. “I wouldn’t be so sure. We’re not done yet. You’ve really pushed me pretty far here…”

Grimmer heard a snap, then footsteps. He was too tired to feel dread, but he knew that this...whatever it was...would be different from before.

“It’s funny, I never thought I’d have to go _this_ far to get you to talk, so I guess I’ll commend you for that. But I gotta say, this’d be a whole lot smoother if you'd just talk. Anyway, this...it’s part of why we hired that doctor friend of yours. Granted, I’ll be using it for a whole different purpose.”

Grimmer really didn’t know what to make of that. What _'it'_ was. He stiffened again when he felt those more slender hands on his shoulders, forcing him backward and tightening his restraints. The immediate sense of confinement had his chest constricting.

“Well y’know, the brain is capable of some _amazing_ things. You can trick your own body if you trick your brain. Get neurons firing in the right places and you might think something just touched you when there’s really nothing there. Or it might feel hot or cold when it shouldn’t. And _you_ ,” Zeman jerked the Ajin’s chin up a little with a firm grip, Grimmer tensing in anticipation, trying to turn away, only for Zeman's grip to clench tighter. “are about to find out what that’s like.”

There was a biting pinch of something against his neck, sharp...some sort of injection. Grimmer only barely relaxed when he felt Zeman release his chin. At the rate his heart was going, he almost wondered if he’d survive long enough anyway. 

“It’s too bad Tenma turned out to be such a softie. You’d think as a doctor he’d take interest in this sort of thing. It’s a rare opportunity. Imagine how much he could learn from you.”

Now….that made Grimmer scowl, despite the anxious energy coursing through him. Using human subjects...Tenma loathed even the concept. To suggest that he would take part in any sort of unconscionable experimentation on a living being..Grimmer kept his protests in the doctor's defense to himself; they would only fall on deaf ears. Though...that did make him worry...the doctor was going to come for him. And he certainly didn’t want to expose the kind soul to anything horrible...

Grimmer thought about summoning Steiner. He didn’t know how long it had been, whether he would be able to, but then again...right now...there wasn’t much point. Any sign of something going wrong and they would shoot him, rendering his ghost useless, and would simply start again. He tried to calm himself, perhaps to take the conversation over once again, to stall for time.

“You’re trying to scare me by describing whatever horrible things you might do.” Though hoarse, his voice was relatively steady. Even with that anxious spike he was still _trying_ to act calm. “I don’t doubt it’s terrible...but as I’ve said, you can’t threaten my life. I’ll keep coming back...and you know, the more pain I endure, the more I’ll think about the others...and how I definitely don’t want the same for them. I’m sorry to say whatever you have planned...it probably won’t work how you like.”

Zeman just gave an airy chuckle, once more patting the Ajin’s shoulder. “Guess we’ll see.”

* * *

He’d hand it to the Ajin, it really had taken the last extreme to get him to talk. Zeman wasn’t even sure himself how well it was gonna work; this wasn’t exactly a method they had much practical experience with, so in a way Grimmer had been a field test.

Nanoparticles injected into the bloodstream would find their way to the insular lobe of the brain, attaching to very specific cells, those regulating sensation and pain. Forcing a charge in those neurons sparked waves of pain beyond regular intensity, controlled entirely by Zeman; Grimmer might have been able to endure standard forms of torture, but there was nothing to compare to the absolute agony he endured then. It was a slow and violent death the ajin suffered - even restrained, he’d managed a hell of a struggle, to the point Zeman had his guys hold Grimmer still until his heart finally failed. 

They made sure to use heavier restraints for the second round.

He really wasn’t surprised when the ajin finally caved. He’d started out _so_ confident that “torture wouldn’t work”. Now, he just sat there in that chair, head bowed. There was no more of that cocky sense of control he’d had before; he knew he’d been defeated. The ajin told all he knew - where to find the doctor…though, _interestingly_ , he claimed ignorance on the ajins. Just to be sure, Zeman let him have a little more time to... _make sure_ he wasn't just being tight lipped - the ajin had shown himself to be able to resist plenty of pain, it was possible he was holding out - but there was nothing more to tell. He really didn’t know where they were.

That meant the doctor did. 

He left the room for a minute, leaving the Ajin with his subordinates for now so he could make a call. If they were gonna get Tenma, he'd _rather_ have the doc come to them; Tenma running meant they lost their one lead to the Ajins, and Tenma _fighting_ put too high a risk on killing the guy. But maybe getting someone to talk to him...yeah. Get him talking first.

"I want Boyer to go with you. He was Tenma's immediate superior, dunno, he might answer better to someone who ain't waving a gun around. Just send Boyer in first and if he tries to run, it's on you. But hang on a sec, I need to finish with some business. Kinda important."

Well. That was one part. Wasn't done yet, though.

Walking back inside, Zeman crouched in front of Grimmer. He was still unresponsive, hair masking his face as he sat there, motionless. He sure jumped when Zeman reached out to pat his cheek, the mocking gesture registering as a threat to the Ajin. Couldn’t blame the guy, with all he went through. It really would’ve been easier if he’d just talked in the first place. Didn't _have_ to be like this, but that was his choice.

“You’ve been a real help to me, Grimmer. So I’ll have to thank you for that.” His voice was calm and pleasant. He gestured to the two men that had helped him, turning to retrieve something from the far side of the room as the other two hustled forward, lowering the back of the chair down so the Ajin lay flat, testing the restraints to make sure he was suitably immobilized. 

Zeman turned and waved a hand to one of the two. “You can take the blindfold off him.” He wasn’t quite finished with the Ajin, and he wanted to see the look on the cheeky bastard’s face. 

What he got was a pair of stone-cold eyes, wary and defensive and unfocused. Looked like he was separating himself from the situation. Trying to, anyway.

Zeman made a point of stepping out into Grimmer’s line of sight as he pulled on a familiar pair of blue latex gloves - he was slow, deliberately slow, drawing out the moment. It was hard to tell with this one, but he could _almost_ see the dread start to show on the Ajin’s face. Not once did his eyes leave Grimmer as he fitted his gloves. His eyes seemed to shimmer and his lips were turned upward, but it was no smile. There was a menace in that look, the kind that held terrible promises of what was to come. He took leisurely steps forward.

“I think it’s about time we send Doctor Tenma a message. Something that’ll catch his attention.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhholy shit that sucked to write. It probably sucks more to read. Grimmer did his best ;_;
> 
> As an aside I now know far more than necessary about nanobiology
> 
> Next chapter isn't much nicer I'm so sorry...


	8. Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenma is given an ultimatum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Low key this chapter is more or less [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUx3SYvcTdQ). Not on purpose though.
> 
> Originally I had this and the last chapter all as one but I figured it’d be better to let the readers have a break lol
> 
> Warnings for this one: implied evisceration, vomiting, unwilling witness to torture. 
> 
> I was originally gonna title this chapter A Modest Proposal but I....did not want to give any misconceptions

Two days. Two days, and nothing.

The group had managed to settle in well enough, but they were restless; there was still nothing on Grimmer’s location, and it was only through the calming effect of Johan that no one took up arms. By late afternoon, Tenma had needed to take time to himself - to pick up food, there _was_ a genuine reason for him to leave, though really he just needed to...walk around, clear his head. But still...once he was on the outside, he felt immediately tense.

Every second in the open - even with an unrecognizable face - was spent in anxious uncertainty. Tenma found himself looking over his shoulder far more often than he used to, keeping in the dark and out of sight as much as possible. Even just picking up food from the market was stressful, but at least no one here cared or recognized him. He did want to make one more stop after picking up food, though - back at the hotel, where Grimmer...was supposed to have met him. Not that he expected to find Grimmer there...but it was likely the government was asking questions. If someone came snooping around, he wanted to know. It’d only be a matter of time.

He was careful on his approach. The benefit of the hotel’s location was that it was impossible to set a trap for Tenma without him noticing. The village was small, and the hotel itself wasn’t exactly out of the way, sitting more on the edge; if there was anyone waiting for him, he’d see them long before they could see him. But the streets were as empty as ever, except for the locals.

When he passed the front lobby and ascended to his floor, it was to find that there was a package waiting for him. Sitting in front of his door, Tenma had examined it carefully. It was, in fact, addressed to him - which only worried the doctor more. It meant that _two days_ was all it had taken to get this information.

There were two things - a brown parcel, and a larger, silvery metallic one that sat neatly in front of the door. No return address. There didn’t need to be one, though, for him to know who it came from. He considered getting rid of the package - it couldn’t be safe. The Ajin branch sending him anything...

But even so...he took both inside as he set the groceries on the table. It wasn’t that he trusted it, he just had a bad feeling. And besides that, the fact that they had left a package instead of a waiting convoy to pick him up meant that capturing Tenma wasn’t immediately on their mind. It was possible they wanted to buy him out to make him talk...broker some sort of deal. He took both to his room and closed the door.

Tenma picked up the smaller parcel first - wrapped in brown paper, it was seemingly ordinary. He handled it gingerly; he didn’t _know_ what it was, after all. He tore the packaging carefully, weighing it in his hand to judge what could be inside. It wasn’t very heavy - something he could easily hold in his hand. And the shape….compact, rectangular...

He popped the envelope open wide enough that he could look inside. It looked like an ordinary phone. Taking it out to examine, there didn’t seem to be any password to keep him out, and when he checked the contacts, there was only one listed. There were no messages, nothing else that he could learn from it. He turned toward the second package.

Dread had settled in him, clamming him up. It didn’t feel right. Something...something about this...

Setting the phone - presumably not some sort of explosive - aside, he picked up the silvery package next. As before, he weighed it in his hand. This one was a bit larger, a bit heavier. It was cold, like it had been frozen or refrigerated. He couldn’t quite make out the shape of it through the packaging - it was thicker and heavier, but still not all that large - it would fit in his hand, though not as comfortably as the phone. 

He went to his drawer for scissors. It wouldn’t be as easy to tear this one, it was just better to cut it. He pulled at the edges, cutting it open from the corner, drawing a line along the packaging. Again, he looked inside to be safe. There was a pouch containing….something, he couldn’t quite tell what it was from the shadowed insides of the parcel. Letting it fall into his hand, he examined it more carefully; it was some kind of air tight bag with a….

…..with a….

As soon as he realized what he was holding, Tenma felt very, _very_ cold. 

He dropped the bag in an instant, like his hand had caught fire, and took several steps back, blinking as he struggled to maintain his breathing and his balance. He couldn’t help but...stare at it, at the bag, the fleshy organ inside, the horrific implicit message he had been sent.

It was a...heart. Roughly the size of a human’s.

They had….they…

Tenma choked.

_Grimmer._

What he had _thought_ was the heaviness of dread in his stomach was suddenly surging up into his throat, thick and foul. A hand went to his mouth as he lurched forward, stumbling into the connected bathroom and leaning over the sink, his eyes already stinging. He didn’t _want_ to think about it...he didn’t want to know the implications...but he did. He couldn’t help it. They...for no other reason than to send Tenma a message, they had gone so far as...

He couldn’t even bring himself to hope that Grimmer had at least been unconscious; hoping for a slightly lesser dehumanizing evil felt no better than the evil itself. To go so far...

He took a deep breath, wiping his mouth and leaning further over the sink, clutching at it with unnecessary force, knuckles going white. He tried to focus. Slow breathing...slow his heart rate. Think. They left a phone with him. Clearly what they wanted was for Tenma to call them. But they’d specifically supplied him with a phone themselves - then again, they probably knew he wasn’t stupid enough to keep his with him. That was the fastest way to find himself tracked down and carted off.

He had an idea why they wanted him. The message was clear enough; _negotiate with us._ He didn’t….he didn’t want to think about what they would do if he refused. They’d gone this far just to send a threat….

Trembling slightly, he made it back to his room. Tenma picked up the phone, and called the single number on the contact list, focusing on his breathing, on staying calm. That foreboding dread was back as he heard the dial tone, the slow beeping, and then finally, a click.

All Tenma could hear at first was muffled noises - sounds coming from too far away to reach him easily, like they were behind a door - and the sound of breathing. Whoever was on the other end stayed silent, clearly waiting for Tenma to speak first. He could feel his stomach churning, roiling, and he did all he could to keep his anger down to a minimum. He couldn’t afford anger right now. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he spoke with a low voice, his tone calm but tinged with something incredibly sharp.

“What do you want.”

At first there was nothing - just those same distant sounds, vague howls of noise that were indiscernible. Then there was a hum, and the man clicked his tongue. 

“You found the package?”

Zeman…

Tenma took another deep breath. _Don’t let him goad you._

“Just tell me what you want.”

He knew what they wanted, of course. And he knew he couldn’t give it to them. But if he refused the call...he could only imagine what they might do to Grimmer. He had to play their game for now.

“I asked you a question, Tenma. I need an answer. Did you look inside? Just so you know, this kinda thing...it’s not really my style. But I needed something that’d get your attention. I was gonna have my guys give it to you in person, but you weren’t around. And _unfortunately_ it ain’t like we can just wait around without you picking up on it. So you really didn’t leave much choice here. Don’t worry though, he’s reset already, so it’s fine. Nothing to worry about.”

Tenma balled a fist, then let his hand relax slowly, remembering what Grimmer had said to him before. He could feel the pricks his nails left. “Yes. _Yes_ I saw! I don’t care..I don’t care how you excuse it. Tell me what you want, damn it!”

There was a pause. The man's satisfaction was almost palpable.

“Just a sec.”

Tenma could hear shuffling, scraping, and then the sound of a door sliding open. Zeman was moving. The vaguely distant noises he’d heard earlier became much clearer, shrill and abrupt. The sound assaulted his ears, and he took a moment to process what he was hearing. It was chaotic, wild, a sound that chilled him and spiked terror at once.

It clicked, then. What he was hearing…

Tenma’s breath hitched and he stepped backward, colliding with the wall, though he hardly noticed as he slowly slid down. He could feel himself go rigid, his mouth dropping open, jaw quivering as he let out a pained sound, a noise that was swallowed by the cacophone on the other end. He struggled to form words - _no, stop, don’t_ \- but all he could manage were those small, wounded sounds in his throat. His free hand came up to cover his mouth as he felt that churning again.

He had no idea what they were doing to the ajin, had no way to see it, but the sound on the other end, from that room…

The pain, the fear...he could _feel_ both in the rawness of Grimmer’s voice. 

He was sitting here, slouched against the wall, _listening_ as they hurt him, each cry causing a tremor down Tenma’s spine. 

Grimmer…

“You hear that, doc? I mean, of course you do. He’s pretty loud. But I can’t blame him, you know? What he’s going through...that’s pretty rough. He’d really do anything to make it stop. Actually, let me explain, you'd understand.”

_Stop stalling. Just tell me what you want. Bastard--_

He still couldn’t form words. His throat had effectively closed, all he could do was concentrate on trying to calm down. Zeman’s relaxed voice did absolutely nothing to aid him, sparking a sharp, red rage in the back of his mind.

“See, right now we’re tapping into a _very_ particular part of his brain. It’s pretty experimental stuff. Using nanoparticles. These little micromachines are encoded to recognize specific cell patterns. They attach themselves to those cells and control them. I can remotely activate specific neurons with them. Right now, they’ve found a pretty snug little spot in his dorsal posterior insula. You know what that means, Doctor Tenma?”

His throat felt unbearably dry.

The insular cortex had multiple functions, but in particular, the part of the lobe that Zeman was talking about received sensory information - it regulated sense of touch, and various perceptions like temperature, physical irritation, and pain. What he was doing to Grimmer...

“Drawing a blank? Do you need me to remind you?”

Zeman’s voice was louder again, the sound of a click and the muffled cries sign enough that he had closed the door again. But it was already etched into his mind, that pain…..he wet his lips, drawing a shaky breath. He could feel tears stinging in his eyes, staining his face, but he didn’t care to stop them from falling.

“You can’t….” He choked out, hand clenching once more into a fist. He could barely form words around the lump in his throat, the heaviness of his tongue. “You can’t possibly call yourselves human!”

Zeman clicked his tongue. “Actually, _he’s_ the one who’s not human. But I didn’t have you call me to debate ethics. It’s pretty simple. I want the locations of the other Ajins that you stole from us. You give them to me, and the pain stops. Oh, and you’ll be free to go, too.” Zeman gave a little chuckle, going completely silent - allowing Tenma to absorb his words. "Just gimme their location, and not only will we leave you alone, you'll also save your Ajin friend a lot more misery."

The heart-rending sounds started up again, filtering back across the line. He couldn’t make out words, but he could hear fragments, sounds. That much pain...he couldn’t even imagine it. If he gave...if he gave Zeman what he wanted...then Grimmer...

But he couldn’t. 

Not even to save….

_He wouldn’t want that._

“I…” Tenma’s throat constricted around his words. The screams on the other end of the line stopped, but he took no solace in it; all that meant was that Grimmer was about to revive, and it would start again. He squeezed his eyes shut until he could feel the burning pressure behind his eyelids. ”Can’t tell you that.”

There was a sigh on the other end - heavy, frustrated.

“Man, I guess you really are a heartless bastard. Oh well. We still have one Ajin, the rest’ll find their way back here one way or another. Anyway, I’ve got a guy coming to pick you up, now that we know you’re there. So you’ve got two options, doc. Either you put up a fuss and fight - which _definitely_ won’t end too well for you _or_ your Ajin buddy - or you just come along quietly. And who knows? We might even let you say goodbye before the Americans take him.”

That...he was just trying to get a reaction from Tenma. They wouldn’t send Grimmer away if they didn’t have any Ajins to spare.

...but even knowing that….

His hand clenched tighter around the phone. He could feel it digging into his palm, but he didn’t care. He wanted to say something, _anything_ , opened his mouth for a retort, but the click of the phone took away any chance he’d had to unleash that rage. 

The line was dead, all he could hear was empty air. Slowly, he let his arm drop down, the phone falling to the ground in front of him with a dull thud as he stared into empty space.

So they were sending someone…

Having him on the phone was to buy them time. They were probably almost here. They were going to take him….probably torture him for the locations of the other Ajins. And then they would carry on with their horrid experiments. Send Grimmer to the Americans...

_Grimmer…_

He wanted to be angry. He _had_ been angry, angry enough that he’d felt the genuine desire to cause harm. He had wanted to indulge that fire; break something, or _someone_ , but now it was like it had all left him. He just sat there, back to the wall, staring at the phone, the silence around him a jarring contrast to what he’d been made to hear.

They were probably still torturing him.

Tenma leaned his head back, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. He was cold, numb, tired and dizzy, but he knew he couldn’t just sit here like this. Whoever Zeman had sent was probably almost here now. They were going to take him away. He needed to get out….get to the Ajins….

Find Grimmer.

_We might even let you say goodbye before the Americans take him._

Tenma grit his teeth, glaring down at the phone. There was that surge, that anger he felt before. He pushed himself up the wall again, bracing himself against it with a fist, turning to glare at the shiny black surface of the phone. He didn’t fight the urge then, driving his heel into it in an act of uncharacteristic violence, watching as it broke apart under the force. He could feel new tears tracking down his face, but this time they weren’t from sadness or shock. They came from rage. He turned back toward the wall, resting his forehead against it for a few seconds. He let out an exasperated sort of shout, allowing it to expel his pent up stress and frustration, his anguish, the sickly feeling of his utter _helplessness_.

Grimmer was being tortured because he hadn’t been able to protect him. He couldn’t do _anything_ but listen. He’d been helpless to stop it. They’d worked so hard already...just to give him and the other Ajins freedom, and just like that Grimmer had been taken away, that newfound liberty stripped from him again. Only now it was worse, this wasn't like the association where - even if it had been a lie - there had been some semblance of compassion toward him; Grimmer was being tortured in cold blood, and for _nothing._ There was _nothing_ else he could tell them. This had been to get to Tenma, nothing more. They were using Grimmer's pain as a means to get to _him_.

Tenma shook his head, taking deep breaths, dragging a hand down his face. He needed a steady mind. He needed to get out.

He was running out of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if this one is worse or the last one. Grimmer I'm so sorry...and also Tenma holyyyy shit
> 
> I'm making Zeman out to be absolutely _horrendous_...but somebody's got to be the absolute bastard 
> 
> Thank god now the torture is all done. No more on-screen terrorizing people. ;_;
> 
> Take solace in that for every horrible thing I put these kind souls through there will be an equivalent comfort later down the line. There'll be some _real god damn tender shit_ later.


	9. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenma confronts a former colleague and a deal is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I don't have to add any new warnings? Amazing....
> 
> This is a less interesting chapter and more builds up to the final climactic end scene hey. Need to do the transition stuff.

Tenma didn’t know how much time he had, _if_ he had any time at all. Zeman had said they were sending someone to collect him...and they knew where he was staying. He had to get out, but he also couldn’t risk going back to the Ajins. Heading there now...he was absolutely being tailed, at the very least. They’d be discovered.

Tenma drew the curtains to his room, collecting up the laptop he and Grimmer had been using, and filing the printed papers away in the laptop case. If someone was coming, they absolutely couldn’t find what Grimmer and Tenma had copied from the facility; that they had any information at all wasn’t known to the Government, which even now gave him an advantage. He had to keep the computer out of their hands.

His tranquilizer gun was still on hand, but Tenma made a last stop to reach into the closet, where Grimmer had left the other gun, just in case. He didn’t want to use it...but it was better off in his hands than found by his pursuers.

Hauling the laptop bag over his shoulder and taking the room key, Tenma made his way into the hall. He had to be quick; whoever was coming for him was undoubtedly already on their way, had been since the beginning of his call. How long had he talked to Zeman? It seemed like a while. Too long. He just had to be faster.

Tenma took the stairs two at a time, careful to maintain his balance; he wanted to move _quickly_ , but with the added weight of the laptop slung over his shoulder he didn’t want to risk a fall. He could have taken the elevator, but that would take even longer. He was just coming onto the second floor landing when he heard a loud creak. Tenma froze, glancing down between the stairs to see who was coming up from the floor below, a sinking feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. The echo of footsteps brought the man closer, until Tenma could see the top of his head between the steps below. The footsteps halted, and the man looked up, Tenma now able to make out his face.

Tenma let out a sharp breath, backing toward the door on the second floor.

Out of everyone, he wasn’t expecting it to be Boyer. He had expected an armed guard at the very least, but then again it was possible Boyer wasn’t alone. The second he stepped outside, it was probably into the waiting grasp of the Ajin branch.

“Take it easy, Tenma. I just want to talk.”

Tenma backed against the door, first lowering the bag from his shoulder, then pulling his...

...in the confusion, he'd left the tranquilizer upstairs.

Tenma gripped his... _gun_ , glad he at least hadn't left himself completely unarmed. It was an empty threat - he wouldn’t shoot Boyer, he wouldn’t shoot _anyone_ with a lethal weapon - but he hoped the threat alone could deter his former superior.

“Whatever happened to the Ajin’s choice…” he hissed, his voice hoarse. “This was never about the Ajins supporting medical learning. It’s money...it’s _always_ been about the money.”

Boyer hesitated when he reached the landing, eyes narrowing, zeroed in on the gun. As long as Tenma could present himself as though he had the intent to shoot...he could take the upper hand. They had sent Boyer as a means to draw him out willingly, but he had no doubt that there were armed guards waiting, in case Boyer failed. He just needed the doctor to convince the others that he wasn’t here.

“Shutting down the program wasn’t what I wanted. There are enough of us who aren’t happy with it. Say what you want, Tenma, but I’m still a doctor. The Ajins we took in agreed to the procedures in exchange for protection. It was a fair exchange. But this...” There was a look of disgust on Boyer's face. "Our research wasn't supposed to go toward torture. And if the Americans are involved...I want no part in it."

He watched Boyer’s hesitation. The flick of his eyes - down and away from Tenma, refusing to meet his gaze. Disapproving of torture...but Boyer was ignoring the fact that the Ajins had been silently loaned out for corporate and military gain by the government. Tenma kept quiet, though; mentioning that wouldn't help his case. It _was_ possible that Boyer never knew...he was part of the medical staff, what happened to the Ajins off the table was only his jurisdiction if he was escorting that Ajin around outside the facility. More likely, though, he _did_ know - he just chose not to acknowledge it. The way he refused to meet Tenma’s eyes seemed proof enough to him.

Tenma gave a sharp shake of his head, setting his jaw. “You crossed the line by using them in your experiments in the first place. They only _agreed_ because what was on the outside was worse. They didn’t have a fair choice! You may use that excuse to clear your conscience...but you know that you’re _wrong_. They may physically recover, but what you’ve done to their minds….”

Tenma cut himself off, steadying his voice and glaring Boyer down.

“You’re going to go back outside and tell your men...whoever’s waiting...that I’d already checked out. But first….” He raised his gun a little higher, so it was directly aimed at Boyer. He fought the tremble in his hands. “You’re going to tell me where Grimmer was taken.”

Boyer still refused to look at him, at least until the end. He shot Tenma a confused sort of look, his mouth falling partway open, though no words came out immediately. 

“I won't allow them to go on torturing him. If you're a _doctor..._ if you don’t approve of what the government is doing...then this is your chance to do something _right_. If you don’t...then by default you’re complacent in senseless brutality. If you take me in now...they'll do everything in their power to extract the locations of the other Ajins. You may not care about them...but a _human…_ ”

He could see Boyer’s hesitation. He looked conflicted, sullen. _As he should._ Tenma hadn’t had the chance to speak to Boyer since fleeing; he had long wanted to tell his superior how he felt, and watching Boyer take it in gave him some satisfaction. His focus was elsewhere, not on Tenma, when he answered.

“I don't like how far this is going. I'm not sticking around, but I'm not sticking my neck out.” 

There was a moment of silence, that conflict returning to Boyer’s face, though he wouldn’t look Tenma’s way at all. He didn’t want anything to do with this, but the concept of being associated with violent torture seemed to be catching the man. Perhaps not for Grimmer, but the idea that Tenma, a human, could endure that same brutality; turning his back now meant unspoken agreement with Zeman’s actions. There were standards, even for a man like Boyer, whose sole purpose seemed to be improving his reputation. Even he didn't want to associate with anything as abhorrent as torture.

“I’ll tell you where they took him but that’s all. I’m not getting involved.”

Tenma gave a nod, but he didn’t lower the gun, not just yet. He watched as Boyer pulled out a phone, his heart leaping back into his throat as he squared his position, gripping the gun more tightly. Boyer _said_ he would cooperate, but if he changed his mind and told the rest of his entourage to come in now…

“It’s Boyer. He wasn’t inside, the clerk said that the Japanese man staying here was heading west, so he’s probably trying to avoid the roads and trek it to the next town over. I’m going to check the room he was staying in to see if he left anything behind, but you should go ahead. There’s no point trying to get me to talk him down if he’s already on the move.”

_**”Shit, he got out faster than expected. You take care of things here and let us know if you find anything pertinent. Ask around, see if the locals saw him. We’ll head out.”** _

There was a click, and Boyer relaxed, stuffing his phone back in his pocket. Only then did Tenma relax, taking slow, deep breaths. Boyer was fishing for something else in his pocket, pulling a small pad of paper and a pen. He turned the note over, scrawling something on it and holding it out to Tenma, only now daring to look him in the eye. Though calm, Tenma’s gaze held no mercy for the doctor; he wanted Boyer to feel his scrutiny for at least a little longer. He needed to understand that offering his help now didn’t forgive the past. Aware or not, he and the rest of the doctors in that program had set up an unfair system that all but forced the Ajins to agree to their offer. Even without the abuse of the program and illegal loaning of the Ajins, what they were doing had still been unethical.

“Myself and a few of the medical staff are walking. There’s more than a few who won’t rat you out if they see you. But if I were you I’d continue to assume you have no friends to lean on. The place they took him is small but secure, you’ll have to figure a way in and out. And...” His eyes flicked to the gun. “If you’re gonna threaten me with that, try to keep your hands steady. But you’d better be ready for the consequences if you use it. You ever intend to pull that trigger to end a life, and you'll no longer be a doctor.”

There were no more words spoken after that. Not by either. There was nothing else to say to Boyer; even now, he didn’t seem to completely grasp just what Tenma was trying to tell him - acting as though he himself hadn’t taken life, just because the Ajins revived. If he couldn’t open Boyer’s eyes now, he didn’t have time to waste on any further discussion. 

He waited until Boyer had gone, checking the window to make sure that all activity had ceased. Even then, he waited another twenty minutes before heading out. He collected up Zeman’s packages and deposited them halfway to the hideout; there was no reason to hold onto anything so gruesome, and if the other Ajins found out, he absolutely knew that Adolf would kill Zeman.

Then again, he already seemed to want the man dead. But then for Giselle’s sake...she was already deeply sensitive to Grimmer; something like this would absolutely ruin her.

He didn’t waste any time after that, quick to return to the hideout when he was absolutely sure he wasn’t being watched. Anna was the one to let him in, taking the bag of groceries with a mildly uncertain look about her.

“We were starting to worry something happened. You were supposed to be back a long time ago.”

Tenma shut the door behind him, dragging a hand down his face. At least he didn’t look like he’d seen the end of the world, now that he’d had time to steady his emotions. He was sure he looked exhausted, though. Anna left him to his thoughts, at least sensing that he needed a moment to clear his head, and went about making sandwiches for everyone from the food Tenma had brought.

They were going to need their strength. Tenma didn’t want to wait, but he knew...as jittered as his nerves were right now, they couldn’t be rash. They needed a plan to get in first. But of course, he’d have to broach the fact that he was approached in the first place. He waited until everyone was sitting down to eat, though, so that he had everyone’s attention.

“I’m sorry I was late. I...have some good and bad news.”

There was a pause, the tension in the atmosphere still fairly thin, but he knew that they were starting to worry. Giselle especially. Tenma took a bite of his sandwich, giving himself a bit of buffer time to help work out how he wanted to phrase this all in his head. The sandwich was almost bland and tasteless, though he blamed that entirely on his nerves.

“It turns out….they managed to get Grimmer to talk. Zeman...was able to track down where he and I were staying, initially. If he’s revealed that...I don’t know what else he might have told them. _But--_ ”

He saw the way that Adolf had tensed, the redness of his face. He was angry...of course he was, but more than that, everyone was about to panic. Tenma needed to reassure them right now, before anyone lost their heads.

“We’re safe here. Grimmer and I...when we planned your rescue we decided that only I would know this location. He and I were going to meet at the hotel before I brought him here to you. We decided that...in case something happened, not everyone would be compromised. So don’t panic.”

It didn’t seem to be enough to ease everyone, he could still see Adolf’s anger, simmering just below the surface.

“Means they’re torturing him. You have any idea what that's like for an Ajin, doc? Do you have _any idea_ how much they can do to him? We can’t sit on our asses any more. If you don’t find out where he is soon I’m doing this my way. Humans ain’t so used to pain, it’s not hard to make them talk.”

Tenma tried not to focus on the implications. That violent rage….it was only because of how he’d been treated by humans until this point. He was wary of it, but he understood the man. The doctor took a breath, letting it out slowly.

“That’s...the good news. I was able to extract Grimmer’s location from the person they sent to capture me.”

Without a word, he held out the slip of paper. Adolf reached for it, then hesitated when Johan reached forward, deferring to the younger Ajin as he took the paper more gently from Tenma.

“Hold on, but how exactly did you get--”

“That doesn’t matter right now, does it?”

Johan’s response was quicker than Tenma’s own. For however unnervingly calm the boy could be, he at least had a sensible head about him. Right now, that was exactly what they needed.

“Only Giselle can use her Black Ghost, of the four of us. My sister at least is skilled in hand to hand combat. Before we became Ajins, she was one of the best students in her Aikido classes. Adolf has raw strength to his advantage, and I...” The boy gave a light chuckle, closing his eyes. “I suppose I won’t be of much help combatively.”

Tenma was admittedly surprised to hear about the sister. So she knew how to fight...that was a good start. Between three of the four Ajins, they each had their own strength in combat...and Johan...even if he wasn’t a fighter, _this_ was where he could shine. 

Giselle shifted forward, looking down at her lap. “I have a ghost but...I mean I’m not that great with it. I don’t really know...I don’t know. It’s hard. But I’ll try. If it's for Grimmer...I think I can do it.”

Tenma looked between each of the four. The atmosphere was surprisingly calm for now, but it seemed like Johan knew what he was talking about, and that alone managed to keep the others - and even himself - at ease. Tenma gave an unsteady sigh. “I just need to be able to get in undetected. With the four of you, the focus will be on external defenses...I should be able to get to Grimmer without any issue.”

“Easier for all of us if we just take them out though.”

Tenma paled, glancing toward Adolf again. He really….with that violent sort of mindset….was he really a good idea to bring along?

“...You can’t kill anyone. Render them unconscious, that's fine...but you can’t kill anyone.”

The ajin made a face, glancing toward Johan. He only seemed to relax when the younger boy gave his affirmation. Adolf seemed to listen to Johan, at least that was good. So long as Johan was listening to Tenma, he could count on Adolf staying in line.

* * *

Pulling up details on the facility location gave them a lot more information. Getting in wouldn’t be hard - it was a smaller base, like Boyer had said. But that didn't mean it was easy once they got in.

The problem would be Tenma finding Grimmer. There wasn’t much information he could pull from what was left of the data Grimmer had extracted, but what he _did_ find was some sort of security procedure. They had the same access cards as the facility Tenma had been working in, but this facility went a step further; there were restricted areas _inside_ the facility that only required personnel had access to. If Tenma was going to get to Grimmer, he needed to find someone who had access.

There was one person he knew of that did, if his phone call with Zeman said anything. He seemed to be in a supervisory position, calling the shots on what was done to Grimmer, sending people out to collect Tenma. So the call had given him at least _something_ valuable.

It wasn’t a particularly complex plan. Between the weapons Tenma had confiscated from the soldiers during the initial rescue of current company, and the Ajins' natural capabilities....the four of them could storm the front door, so to speak, with relative ease. Putting most of the attention on them would allow Tenma to slip in, get to Grimmer, and get out. He'd have to find Zeman in the midst of it all, but there was no way he'd be anywhere away from the Ajin right now. 

They weren't leaving that place without Grimmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boyer gets like 1/4 of the way redeemed….I figure he’s kinda shitty and all but I don’t think he’d go this far. Also I just wanted to address that not EVERY human working there was absolute garbage...thank you for not being 100% trash Boyer, only like 75% trash
> 
> And! The next chapter is the last one (probably unless I make a last minute addition) and that means.....it's finally time to give the lads some _love_. Get ready for intense tenderness


	10. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenma seeks out Grimmer, only hoping that what damage was done can be repaired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo ominous title for this chapter...but not really. I figured I'd book-end this one since it started with "the beginning".
> 
> There’s mentions of thoughts of “suicide” (quotations because Ajin) and what happened to Grimm is discussed, but the focus is on healing. This chapter is mostly made of good things. And also extreme satisfaction if you despise Zeman.

Security was higher, as they expected; there were armed sentries watching out front, but it didn't do them much good when a Black Ghost, unseen, was the first line of assault. Even with heightened security...four armed Ajins and a black ghost were a terrifying combination. Certainly enough to draw attention to themselves, leaving room for the much more underwhelming human to enter unseen. He worried for them...even if they had numbers, he _did_ worry for them. The sooner Tenma could get in, locate Grimmer and get out, the better. Even if Johan seemed to be a skilled strategist...the doctor would still much rather not waste any time.

Tenma stuck to the walls, gripping his gun tightly as he crept around corners. When the first wave of security came out to greet their attackers, he was able to slip by in all the confusion. It wasn't exactly something he wanted to make a living off of, all this running around, but he was determined. Grimmer was coming back with them no matter what. He paused for a moment to listen; there were thundering footsteps from the hall he'd just entered through, and more shouting. Security was focusing its efforts outwardly, moving their men to deal with the Ajins. It wouldn't leave a lot of interference for Tenma, as long as he could stay out of sight. He slipped along a narrow corridor, well aware that he had no idea where he was going; it wasn't a _large_ facility, he'd find his way eventually.

That was the _thought,_ at least, until he hit an elevator. An elevator with six levels. This one, and five below.

Not so small, after all.

Tenma took a deep breath, heading down to floor immediately below. He had to stay calm. Grimmer _was_ here. There was no question of that. He was on one of these six floors. That wasn't so bad. It could have been a lot worse. Stepping out into the landing, it was a stark difference from the floor above; there was nothing but gray here, with bright white lighting in the halls and cold, hard cement floor. The basement levels were probably meant for operations. But whether or not Grim-

His train of thought paused when he heard voices and footsteps, echoing and loud. Tenma pressed himself into a narrow alcove, lowering himself down, gun held in shaky hands as he slowed his breathing.

“..won’t get to the Ajin even if they get in, so it’s fine. But send someone just in case.”

He felt his heart leap into his throat, and something ugly bubble up in his stomach.

_Zeman…_

Tenma very very slowly peeked around the corner, even as the footsteps grew louder, echoing on the concrete. It was hard to tell from the lower angle, but it looked like Zeman was on the phone. Asking someone to send…reinforcements, he had to imagine. There was a click of the man's tongue, a sound that set Tenma's nerves alight, a sound that was far too familiar even if it wasn't directed toward him.

“I _know_ that. I don’t mean right now, I mean as soon as you can. Deal with that one first and get rid of the ghost.”

He waited until he heard a click - signifying Zeman was no longer in a call - before making his move. In one fluid motion, Tenma turned the corner into a standing position, gun held high, his stance strong.

_”Don’t take another step.”_

Tenma’s voice was low, even cold, as he faced down his former supervisor. Zeman looked nonplussed, eyes narrowing at the Japanese man.

“So you wouldn’t come when I invited you, but now you’re here insisting I stay and chat. You should really make up your mind.”

“Give me your access card.”

He knew Zeman was stalling, trying to occupy him to give security a chance to take out the ajins. Tenma wasn’t going to fall for it. But Zeman only laughed in response, eyeing the gun with muted amusement.

“If you shoot me, that’ll make you a murderer, doc.”

Tenma could feel himself bristle. _A murderer._ He said it with an accusatory tone, as though he himself were somehow clean. Tenma gritted his teeth. “And what does that make _you_ then? How many times have you killed….how many Ajins...how many times?”

Zeman took a step forward, then another. The doctor's eyes widened, his throat starting to clench on itself, gripped with sudden terror. He knew that if he didn’t shoot, Zeman was going to be close enough to disarm him. But shooting meant….

Taking a life was wrong….no matter whose it was. Even knowing what Zeman had done...

“You gonna do it, then? Shoot me?”

Shoot him....shoot him to save Grimmer. What he had done....

...no. It didn't...no matter the circumstances...

"Shoulda planned this a little better. You got one more chance. Got what it takes?"

Tenma’s eyes snapped up, refocusing, when a shadow suddenly seemed to bear down on him. Zeman was right in front of him now, the gun almost pressed into his chest. If he took a shot at this distance, he would _absolutely_ kill the man. He could feel his hand trembling worse than before. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Zeman didn’t give Tenma a moment to reconsider, grabbing the doctor’s hand and squeezing _hard_ , causing him to drop the gun with a cry. Zeman moved again, his left fist connecting solidly with Tenma’s face. It wasn’t a very well-delivered punch, he clearly wasn’t skilled in close quarters combat, but it had been enough to stun the doctor.

“Didn’t think so. You don’t have it in you, even now. Not even after what you heard. Fine with me.”

Echoes of Grimmer’s voice clawed at the back of Tenma’s mind, making his stomach turn. He tried to steady himself, but Zeman was faster, roughly shoving Tenma into the wall, knocking the wind out of him. He could feel pressure around his throat. 

“Don’t worry doc, I ain’t gonna kill you. You’re only worth anything if I get you alive." There it was, that click of his tongue again. "I’m a bit underwhelmed though. I really thought you had some sorta plan coming here. I guess I can’t complain, less work for me right?”

Tenma let his head fall forward, his shoulders slumping. It was getting harder to breathe. Tenma was starting to feel lightheaded, his eyes losing focus. His attempts to claw the man’s hand away grew desperate and ineffective, his hands shakily braced against the other man’s arms in a seemingly futile attempt to push him away.

_Not like this. It can't be like this._

“That’s it. Just another minute or so, doc. Nice and easy.”

 _Not yet._ He made an attempt to respond, choking out a cough.

“Don’t bother trying to talk right now. You’ll have plenty time to do that later. You sure pissed off a lot of people with the shit you pull--”

_Now._

Tenma used the wall behind him to push off with one foot, a knee coming forward to drive up into the man’s stomach. The hold on his throat loosened just enough that Tenma regained a little mobility, a little sense. He took advantage of his momentum, pushing away from the wall and forcing Zeman backward, using the sudden shock and forward motion to topple the taller man. He brought the heel of his palm in a strike to Zeman's jaw, using the force of the fall to drive his skull backward and down into the hard cement. Though Tenma wasn't much of a fighter himself, gravity had done most of the work, stunning the other man. There was a mild satisfaction from the solid thud on contact, but Tenma didn't waste any time, pinning the man beneath him.

He could feel the anger bubbling close to the surface - still held at bay, but only barely. Tenma grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt, fisting the material and tugging sharply, leaning forward with a withering glare.

“I want you to know how much _unbelievable suffering_ you’ve caused. I want you to know how _he_ felt...what it must have been like for him, for all Ajins. After everything you’ve done to hurt others...it’s what you should deserve.”

His knuckles had gone white from the tension of his grip. Tenma took a deep breath to steady himself, his face relaxing. That was what he _felt._ But what he knew, what he believed...

“It’s what you deserve...but that’s not for me to judge. I _loathe_ you...I _despise_ you. But even after all that you’ve done...I won’t kill you. Because I’m not _like_ you. I won’t take a life. I _refuse_ to be like you.”

Zeman barely looked coherent. Between the fall and the crack his skull made against the concrete, he probably _wasn’t_ entirely aware. He managed a hiss of pain. “Weren’t that far gone. You were faking. Shit.” He let his head fall back, scrunching his face. There was no answer, but there didn't need to be one. Tenma was quick to confiscate his phone, then moved on to searching the man's pockets. He found Zeman's wallet and a familiar-looking card.

Just to be safe, he tied Zeman's wrists - his tie was just fine, though he didn't know how well it would hold. With a little difficulty he pulled Zeman out of the way, hiding him in the same alcove Tenma had been crouched in before this ordeal started. He had the access card now...which meant...the last thing he needed to do was to find Grimmer. And...hopefully avoid any further altercations. His head was throbbing and it felt like he'd pulled something in his side. All of this action...it didn't suit him at all.

_I'm coming. Grimmer._

* * *

Tenma moved more swiftly down the halls. He’d lost time with his fight, but he had to be close. From what he and the other ajins had pieced together, there would be some sort of secure, heavy doors. He wound up taking two more floors down, still with no luck. He kept at a run, hands starting to go slick with sweat. Grimmer was here, was _somewhere_ here. If he'd at least sent his Ghost...but maybe they had him restrained in some way that he couldn't. Tenma couldn't rely on Grimmer guiding him in this case. He turned the corner, leading with his gun, though there weren't any people this far down; anyone who had been in here was either on the upper floor or had gone far, far down.

He came across a series of large, metal, heavy-looking doors - ideal for keeping someone with the powers of a Black Ghost inside. He swiped his card at the first door, revealing an empty room - devoid of anything except for a single metal table. Tenma took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Best to try them in order, even if it took more time. He could feel his heart rate starting to quicken. Grimmer was behind one of these doors, but in what _state…_

The last thing he wanted was to open the door and hear...and _see…_

When Tenma opened the fourth door, his breath caught. Lying on the same metal table that was in each room, strapped down so he couldn’t move, was Grimmer. He wasn't wearing the dark clothes he had been when they caught him - it looked like a standard hospital gown. No doubt his clothes were ruined with blood when they took him in. Tenma turned his attention elsewhere, on how he was restrained. It was fairly simple - his wrists, a strap around his legs, one more across his chest and upper arms...but nothing that completely hindered movement. But still, he was lying absolutely motionless. He didn’t even turn to look when the door opened. No unconscious twitch of his muscles, no sign of awareness, nothing but the rise and fall of his chest, the only sign he was alive.

Tenma’s chest constricted. That alone...if he wouldn’t even acknowledge another presence, not even a possible threat…

The younger man walked slowly, stepping around the table, holding his breath. His footsteps were soft, deliberately slow as he made his way toward the ajin, crouching down beside him. His eyes were closed, and he looked….tired, expressionless. Tenma swallowed. He needed to...break the silence, before it suffocated him. He brushed the Ajin’s arm, just below the shoulder, to get his attention.

“Grimmer.”

Eyes opened slowly, dull blue and hazy. He looked so…

He looked almost...empty. He looked…

Grimmer looked lost. Like he had isolated himself somewhere inside his mind, ignorant to the world around him, blind to Tenma in front of him. His eyes were directed _toward_ Tenma, but whether or not he was really _seeing_ him…if he did, he gave no sign of recognition. That horrible twist in his gut felt emptier, hollow all of a sudden.

Tenma tried again. He didn’t want to startle Grimmer, he wanted to gain some sort of response - that he _knew_ it was Tenma, and that he was safe now. Tenma wouldn’t risk a scare in trying to rescue him. Startling Grimmer could make his Black Ghost target him. He spoke softly, reassuringly.

“Grimmer, it’s me. I’m here.” He trailed gentle touches along Grimmer’s arm. Tenma watched as eyes followed his hand, though his friend said nothing, did nothing - at first. He _did_ note how Grimmer’s thumb twitched, his fingers curling in slightly. When he reached Grimmer’s hand, he took it carefully into his own, eyes never leaving Grimmer’s face.

“I’m here.”

_I’m sorry._

“I’m right here…”

_This shouldn’t have happened to you._

“I’m here...Grimmer...I’m here….”

He wanted to say so much more, but his mind and his mouth were at a disconnect; all he could do was repeat those three useless words, clutching Grimmer’s hand gingerly, fighting the waves of emotion that threatened to overcome him. If he had just gone to help Grimmer...if he’d listened to his gut, this wouldn’t have happened. But his words fell emptily, Grimmer not even acknowledging them. Not verbally, not visually, nothing.

At this rate...he couldn’t wait any longer. He didn’t want to startle Grimmer, but he couldn’t waste time.

Letting go of the ajin’s hand, he made quick work of the restraints, wincing at the reddish marks around his friend’s wrists. Grimmer...Grimmer had gone through so much. And now, seeing him like this….so, so tired...and…

The very, very faintest brush of contact - more like a minute twitch than anything else, but-

“Doctor…Tenma.”

His thoughts halted, and he refocused his attention, glancing at Grimmer.

There was a familiar look there, in those tired eyes staring back at him. And then he could feel it, Grimmer’s hand shifting, gripping onto his own. His eyes weren’t so glassy any more, they were sharp and focused as he looked up at Tenma, looked him over. He watched as they blinked slowly, then widened, a painful myriad of emotions on display before those turbulent blues closed again. But this time Grimmer didn’t look lifeless and empty; he was fighting against his own emotions, just as Tenma was. The Ajin turned slightly, shifted onto his side, eyes closing a little tighter. Small shudders left his friend as he fought to maintain his composure, and Tenma…

He didn’t care to hide his own sorrow, not any more. They needed to leave...to get out, but right now...Tenma had barely been able to contain his emotions since he got to this place. He'd thought that he could keep his composure at least long enough to take Grimmer out of here but...watching him as he regained his sense of self, as he realized Tenma was here and...

He clutched Grimmer’s hand, pulled it close to his face and let the tears roll, let himself weep openly - both out of sorrow and relief. For a frightening moment he had wondered if Grimmer would acknowledge him at all. Now, all he could do was let his heart take over.

“I’m here. I’m right here. You’re safe now, Grimmer, you…I’m...I’m going….” He heaved a sob, swallowing thickly as he pressed his lips to the backs of Grimmer’s fingers, his grip tightening just a little. “....I’m going to save you. Just like I said.”

For a while, it was silent; there was no need to speak right then, when both were so tired, their emotions so raw. Tenma cradled the Ajin’s hand in both of his, gently drawing lines against his skin with delicate brushes of his fingers, made to soothe himself just as much as his companion. Grimmer was slowly coming back to himself, from wherever he had been lost. His eyes opened again, and this time, there was _light_ there; not a happy light, but a tearful one. He gave Tenma’s hand a tired, but firm, squeeze, tilting his head up to look at the doctor.

“I knew….” he whispered, his lips quirking very, very slightly, barely noticed even by Tenma. “I knew you’d come.” His eyes closed again and he even seemed to smile, his body very, very slightly relaxing. “Thank you….” it was such a small sound, but rich with emotion. He laced their fingers together, clutching Tenma’s hand more firmly. “Thank you...”

Tenma choked out a sound somewhere between a confused laugh and a sob, though at least the pain in his heart had subsided somewhat, no longer an unbearable, constant fire. 

With his other hand, he reached out - again, slowly, he didn’t know what Grimmer expected - and touched the other man’s face. There was no flinch, no immediate panic at his touch, so he turned the Ajin’s head slightly to face him, letting his palm ease against Grimmer’s cheek, brushing away tears. Grimmer leaned into the gesture ever so slightly, soaking up the tender contact with a shaky, but relieved, breath.

“We need to get going now.” Tenma whispered, his voice staying low, a little hoarse. “Can you stand? Do you need my help?”

There was a moment, Grimmer blinking slowly and giving a small nod. He shifted, first attempting to sit upright. Tenma held his shoulder to give him a little support, noting how the man did tense a little at that, but relaxed just as quickly. Once he was upright, Grimmer didn’t seem to have much trouble standing; Tenma himself kept that supporting hand against Grimmer’s arm, looking over the Ajin. It was second nature for him to be looking for injuries, scars...but for an Ajin there were none to be found.

Not on his body at least. But his eyes, when he’d first opened them...Grimmer had his scars.

Tenma eased forward, the distance between them closing a little. He made no move beyond their faint contact, allowing Grimmer to get comfortable, to steady himself. It was Grimmer, then, who moved first - though not toward the door. Instead it was to completely close the distance between the two, wrapping his arms loosely around Tenma and leaning his head against the other man for just a moment. He just stood like that and breathed, absorbing Tenma’s presence, drawing as much comfort from such simple gestures as he could. If Grimmer needed a moment...then Tenma would give it to him. Even if it delayed their return another little while, this was better for Grimmer in the long run. He needed to feel safe. Tenma would give that to him.

"Steiner won't answer me. I tried..." Grimmer's voice came quietly, spoken gently against Tenma's shoulder. "But I knew...that you would come."

Tenma returned the embrace, feeling his eyes stinging again. He didn't know what that meant...if his Black Ghost wouldn't answer...but _he_ wouldn't let the Ajin down. Tenma leaned in a little, quiet breaths tickling Grimmer’s neck as he held him. He wanted the moment to last a little longer...to extend their reunion, allow their tender tears to settle, but much more than this and they risked running into trouble. They needed to make their way back now, the sooner the better. No one was going to be left behind in this place. With a hand raised to Grimmer’s cheek again, the doctor pulled back, so that Grimmer could meet his eyes, could see the encouragement there. “We should go, now. Don’t be afraid to lean on me. Let me help you.”

Leaving that room, he could feel Grimmer start to relax. Not a lot, but the horrors of that room had been left where they belonged. He was safe now. 

Making their way back up the floors and toward the exit, Tenma could...see that the Ajins had kept themselves busy; no humans were dead, as he’d asked, but the men that had been taken down were in no shape to be moving any time soon. And the blood on the Ajins’ shirts…..

He knew it was their choice to use their immortality, but all the same...it made his stomach twist just to know. _This_ was how much they cared to save their friend…

It was over now. This time….it really was over.

* * *

_the...door._

_...a man. a voice...a hand...._

_sad, sad eyes. Tenma...._

It took a while for Grimmer to properly register...he was safe now. 

The reassurances from Tenma...seeing the other Ajins….even with that, it took him lying in a comfortable bed with warm blankets and soft pillows to acknowledge that he was safe.

Tenma had said it was three days...and by the regretful tone, he could imagine the negative spiral of the doctor’s mind. He couldn’t yet bring himself to cast any reassurance on the other man; as much as the good doctor didn’t deserve to think ill of himself for waiting, Grimmer wasn’t quite able to dole out comfort. Truthfully he was appalled, that it had been so little time, and yet...it felt so much longer. He’d had no perception of time there, only sporadic rest periods before they would come for him again, seeking the same information that he couldn’t give, no matter the pain. By the end, they no longer asked.

There really was nothing...nothing at all, to compare to the pain that he had felt in that place. In that room. At the hands of that man.

Grimmer had wanted nothing more, in that time, than to find a way to crawl out of his own skin, to escape the constant agony that assaulted him on multiple levels, disrupting even his conscious thoughts. He could remember it still - not the pain itself, no matter how much he thought about it he could never replicate the exact feeling...though that was definitely for the better. But he recalled what he had thought at the time….desperate thoughts of clawing at his own throat to stop it….if he hadn’t been restrained, he was sure he very well would have.

Even knowing he would come back, Grimmer hadn't much been the sort to contemplate ending his own life unless as a last resort. Not in any serious context. True enough he was an Ajin, but he wasn't quite so quick to use that gift of immortality. Its misuse at the hands of doctors rather left a bad taste. And beyond that, there was a difference....in those situations, the intent was to reset himself - to restore his body. But this time...it had been a desire to escape. To escape...to put an end to the suffering. To have even considered it, a genuine want for death, even if it was only momentary was...unsettling. It felt strange, in an unwelcome way.

Steiner had refused to respond to him. Perhaps an effect of the neurotorture he endured, a method to dampen an Ajin's ability to summon his Ghost...but more likely...it was his own fault. How hopeless he had been, wanting the pain to end even in such a permanent way...that was difficult for him to accept. And his Ghost had probably...Steiner had probably...sensed it. Just how desperate he had felt then...

But that desperate and somber sense of defeat had been met in equal measure with revitalizing hope, when that door had opened again.

Grimmer had taken to protecting himself; shutting his mind from the present situation, as he had in the facility, before Tenma came. He recognized that the door had opened, that someone had entered. He kept himself far away from the situation, unaware of who it was, only mildly aware of the sensations. A hand trailing his arm, touching his.... _so we're back to this, then._ But the voice.... _that_ voice, heartfelt and emphatic, had breached his defenses, called him back. And when he saw....when he realized that it was Tenma to take is hand and speak to him, in a voice that was drowned in hurt…Grimmer felt warmed. Those eyes...the eyes that brought him comfort, peering down on him with such intense concern...

It wouldn’t be accurate to say that he had felt _happy,_ exactly, but the overwhelming relief that he felt, when he realized that Tenma had come for him...he had nearly felt euphoric.

Even with Tenma, Grimmer had never been one to openly express his vulnerabilities, to show fear or sorrow. There were times he couldn’t help it..fitful dreams, the unpleasant episode of terror...Tenma had supported him, but he hadn’t _intended_ for the doctor to see it. 

This time...when Tenma told him that he’d come to take him away, like he had before...come to save him, like he promised...Grimmer was helpless, succumbing to those raw emotions. But it hadn't felt wrong to do so.

Tenma had come for him.

His friends....each and every one of the Ajins, all of them....they had all....

There really was no way Grimmer could have responded differently. To feel, in that moment, such affection...so much care...from so many at once...

It was all very much to take in, now. He was free...he was safe...for the second time. The other Ajins were here, too. They had succeeded...and while they were in hiding, they were all free. It was baffling and strange, difficult to accept, but the warmth of the blankets around him were proof enough.

When he'd first woken, it was to see a chair next to the bed, with a folded set of clothes. Presumably something Tenma had picked up for him, for which he was grateful. It felt incredibly liberating to simply feel soft, warm fabric rustle against his skin. Warm clothes...and warm blankets...it was pure bliss.

It wasn't long before there was a knock, and a soft voice.

_"I made you something to eat, if you'd like."_

Grimmer took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he opened an eye, curling the blankets around him a little. "I think that sounds excellent. Please, come in, doctor."

The door opened, and Tenma backed inside, looking over his shoulder as he pushed the door open, finally turning around to face Grimmer with a...thick sort of soup dish in two bowls. Grimmer sat up, stretching just a bit as he pushed the blankets down around his legs. He took one of the bowls, stirring the contents a little before taking a spoonful. It was sweet, with just the faintest sharpness of peppercorn.

Tenma took a seat in a rather uncomfortable looking plastic chair by the bed - where his clothes had been left - and nursed his own soup, stirring it more than eating it. He seemed calm, definitely calmer than when he had come to retrieve Grimmer from that place, but he also...now that Grimmer was a little more at ease himself, he could see the faintly reddish look of his throat, and the slightly purpled bruise on the doctor's face, at his cheekbone. He hadn't bothered to treat himself yet, though the injuries didn't seem particularly terrible. Still, Grimmer found himself frowning a little; those were injuries sustained for him.

"How is it?"

Tenma's voice was kind, hospitable. He had put on the face of the kindly doctor, a face that he wore well, that made Grimmer feel just a little more comfortable. He didn’t look at Tenma then. Instead he let himself focus on the ceiling...it looked nothing like the one in that gray and bleak place. Here, he could trace patterns with his eyes in the pebbled white surface. Even something so minute and senseless was comforting.

"It's very good. Though I can't say what it is, exactly. Sweet...and a little spicy. Definitely the best food I've had in a little while."

He heard a pleased sound from the doctor, and was glad. The doctor finally took a spoonful himself - really, he was just as much in need of something to eat as Grimmer.

"Sweet potato soup. Nothing fancy. But it's something."

"Something..."

Grimmer sighed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "Something made by you, something that takes time and heart. You put effort into making it taste good, so it's really very wonderful to me. So thank you."

He cracked an eye open to see Tenma was smiling now, the first time he'd seen a genuine smile from the man in a little while - one that reached his eyes, that wasn't quite as tired as before. Grimmer took another spoonful of the soup, quirking a brow at Tenma.

"You're not in any pain?"

There was a moment of surprise, Tenma blinking at him as he put his spoon in his mouth. He could almost see Tenma's train of thought from his eyebrows alone - the way they shot up, then creased, then when his face relaxed and a look of realization struck him. He set the spoon down, lifting a hand to touch the bruise on his cheek and gave a shrug.

"It doesn't hurt unless I irritate it. It's worth it to have punched him, even just once."

'Him' clearly had a name attached. There was only one such person Grimmer could think of, and he chuckled a little at the notion. The very idea of Tenma rushing through halls, punching anyone at all...that was an impossible concept. "I'm almost jealous. But, I had him quite angry for a while, myself. I simply wouldn't be cowed!"

Saying that seemed to sap some of the pleasantness from the atmosphere, Tenma looking down again. He supposed...the context of that was a bit terrible; even if it had been a slight victory for Grimmer, what came _after_ was...

He sat forward again as he swallowed another mouthful of that delicious soup. There was something important that he wanted to say, a discussion that they needed to have. He could feel the tension in Tenma; all that he had seen, heard, all that Grimmer had experienced...those weren't things to be kept to himself. Even beneath that smile Grimmer could still see that look of guilt in the doctor's eyes. By how half-heartedly he stirred his soup, how he kept that more formal doctor's facade on his face...he was overflowing with apologies that even from here, Grimmer could see. Tenma had a particularly cruel mind, one that suffocated him with guilt before acknowledging any good he may have done for others. Grimmer took a deep breath, letting it out in a tired sigh, holding his not-quite-halfway finished bowl relaxedly in both hands.

“It must seem strange to you, that Zeman was able to track you down so easily."

Tenma's head jerked up, his breath seeming to catch, hand tensing just a little. He eyed his soup with something like disdain, setting the bowl down for now, where it would undoubtedly be forgotten. Grimmer too set his down, sated enough for now. This discussion took precedence.

"I’m afraid to say..unfortunately that was my fault.” He turned his head, eyes on the doctor now. “I told them where you were staying.” 

His lips curled up in an empty attempt at something like a smile, and he gave an equally empty chuckle. “I suppose even I can only take so much pain. I would have thought that by now...it wouldn’t be so bad.” His eyes closed again, his head turning skyward, the expression fading entirely. “You had to witness something terrible, didn't you? I’m sorry for that. For someone like you...that must have been hard to bear.”

There was a short exhalation, like frustration or surprise. He felt Tenma’s hand then, gently brushing his shoulder. He felt himself go tense, and drew a slow breath to steady himself. Even if he knew it was Tenma, that sort of gesture...he didn’t mean to flinch, but his body remembered nothing pleasant. Rougher hands had held him, forced him to still any struggles. Those hands were not Tenma’s, he knew that. His body would learn, eventually.

The doctor had noticed his tension, and moved his hand away just as quickly. It was very kind of him to be so careful, but he certainly didn't need to; it would just take a little time for him to recognize gentleness, that this wasn't harmful.

When he once more looked to Tenma, it was to see such wildly emotive eyes. Beyond the expected guilt there were other things...anger, sorrow, and something deeply anxious. He knew that Tenma had heard it….what was happening to him in that place. For someone like Tenma...that was probably more painful than a wound to his own person.

Grimmer shifted in the bed, letting his legs hang over the edge, making room for another body. He gestured for the doctor to sit next to him; closeness was a comfort awarded to both now, bringing a reassurance that they were in a safe place, and that they were together. Tenma still gave him a respectable distance, his eyes boring deep into Grimmer’s with a pleading sort of look.

“You can’t...don’t apologise. You didn’t do anything wrong...what they did to you…” Tenma’s hand shifted, lifting to cup Grimmer’s cheek as it had before. “I could never blame you.”

His fingers traced along the Ajin’s face; gentle, ticklish touches along his cheekbone, at the corner of his mouth, along the outline of his jaw. This sort of touch was different, it didn’t inspire any instinctual fear. Not even scarred memories could associate such delicate intimacy with pain. Grimmer allowed himself to relax into the soothing, pleasant gesture. His eyes closed and he let out a sigh, more relaxed, more at ease.

"Tell me what you need."

Tenma's voice was spoken softly, as soothingly as the gentle feeling of his tracing touches. "Tell me if there's anything...anything that I can do...anything at all."

Grimmer leaned into the hand, breathing slowly, evenly, comfortably. He let out a slow sigh. "I don't really know..." he answered finally, his voice distant...but content. He appreciated that Tenma wanted to help him to recover...and, he wanted the same for the good doctor. But he really...didn't know what it would entail, for either of them. But for the moment...

"Right now...this is enough. If you would stay with me a little while...I think that's what I want the most, for now."

Even with his eyes closed, he was aware as Tenma’s presence drew nearer, until he felt the tingle of not-quite-contact, and breath against his skin. Soft brushes against his neck as Tenma nestled against him brought the slightest tension - more out of surprise, this time, than a learned response - but he relaxed once more and allowed the affectionate gesture. His hand came up to rest against the doctor's shoulders, to hold him there, hold him close.

Perhaps the time spent in that place had allowed him to reflect...and perhaps Tenma coming to his rescue a second time had fueled what he felt...but this definitely felt _right._

“I’m the one...who should be sorry.”

The quiet whisper against his neck was a terribly sad sound. Grimmer opened an eye, trying to catch Tenma's gaze again, but he had entered that avoidant state - much like before, when he first became privy to the horrific treatment of Ajins. He was internalizing those feelings. Grimmer didn’t know what painful thoughts were bleeding into the doctor’s heart, but he could guess. He combed fingers through the other man's hair, in an attempt to hopefully soothe the doctor, at least a little.

“And why is that?”

He was probing, hoping for Tenma to open up again. Slowly the doctor opened his eyes, pulling away and letting his gaze slide downward into his lap, those burdensome thoughts weighing heavily on him, sagging his shoulders and clouding his eyes.

“I thought about going after you. The others hadn't wanted to leave without you...I convinced them that you would be fine. But if I had...” He shook his head. "I know that if I'd gone after you it would've put everyone in danger. But I left you alone. And then he..." There was a twitch in the doctor's hands. "Knowing what was happening to you...I felt helpless. I felt sick."

He trailed off, balling his fists in his lap.

Yes..Grimmer had thought as much. Tenma agonized over those past horrors even now, even knowing he could have done nothing...or perhaps _because_ he could do nothing. Grimmer looked more seriously at his companion then.

“Quite a few unpleasant things happened in that place, I won’t pretend otherwise, but for you to apologise...” He reached out, taking Tenma’s hand warmly in his own, gently uncurling that fist, helping to ease the doctor. “If you forbid me from apologising, then I must insist the same of you. After all, you’ve saved me twice now. I won’t have you apologising.”

Tenma opened his mouth, drew a shuddered breath, closed it again, then just shook his head, deflating. The good doctor couldn’t argue with what was simply fact. Once more, Grimmer gave Tenma’s hand a squeeze.

“It’s because of you that I know what it feels like to be free, but you also…” Grimmer trailed off, closing his eyes as a gentler wave of emotion caught him in a moment of mild euphoric bliss. “You also let me know what it feels like to be wanted, and loved. For me, as an Ajin, who had given up on both...you’ve given me so much.” 

Blue eyes glistened slightly as they opened again to regard the awestruck doctor warmly. He used his free hand to brush stray, wild bangs from Tenma’s face. Grimmer could feel his lips turning upward of their own accord, and a swell in his heart. He recognized the feeling of a _true_ smile - the kind that started from that feeling of warmth on the inside and spread outward, into a glow on his face. He guided Tenma’s hand, holding it against his chest, over his heart. 

“I wish I could show you what it feels like. How grateful I am.”

There was a quiet moment as the doctor...took it all in, absorbing those words slowly, before finally, he seemed to relax, a bit of the tension and stiffness leaving him. Tenma’s fingers spread over the Ajin’s chest, a small smile brightening his face. He seemed content to simply feel the rise and fall, the beating of his heart. Releasing the doctor’s hand, Grimmer gently cupped Tenma’s face, just as quickly moving to close the distance between them completely, pressing his lips to Tenma’s. There was no sense of surprise from the doctor - without much hesitation, he leaned into and deepened the kiss, a hand at the nape of Grimmer’s neck causing a faint, but pleasant, electric jolt along his nerves.

There was a breathless moment when they finally separated, Tenma lowering his head to rest against the ajin's chest, the doctor's weight against him becoming more apparent. Tenma's closeness didn’t feel constricting or wrong, but safe. Despite human fragility, Tenma was definitely protective of the Ajin. It seemed strange, when Tenma was the one so much more easily damaged. But all the same the warm presence leaning against him now felt like a silent declaration. Tenma had promised once that he would come for Grimmer, if anything happened; this was an extended promise, that he still maintained those words even now.

He felt Tenma shift slightly, breathing against him, a sort of energy filling the air. Grimmer could _feel_ it, he knew what Tenma was going to say. The look on his face...the atmosphere surrounding him. Even before the words left his lips, Grimmer knew -

“I love you.”

And yet, _knowing_ did nothing to diminish the swell of affection upon _hearing_ it spoken, so gently, so warmly. He leaned in to place a soft kiss to the other man’s forehead. This man, who had given him so much...and now, would even give his heart...

“And I love you.”

He had never been more sure of such a feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH….after all I put em through they deserve all the love. That was so...satisfying. 
> 
> I really wanted to write out the action scene with the ajins but omg...no energy for another multi-person fight dlskdfs. Just know they were badasses. 
> 
> But hopefully now the Ajin bug will quiet down and I can focus on other writings. Phew.
> 
> For how long it is now it used to be longer....there are like 4 scenes I wound up cutting because it either added TOO much drama to an already drama heavy chapter or just...made things way too complex. I might put those deleted scenes in another chapter or just a deleted scenes fic or some such because I do like how some were written...BUT WE'LL SEE


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